Monday, August 31, 2009

Redonkulous action movie sequel news, part deux

No way Sylvester "No, this is actually my face now" Stallone lets Michael "I hate people who watch my movies" Bay get the headlines without firing an exploding round into his skull: Rambo 5 is happening. Sly has said for years that Rocky Balboa was the last Rocky film and Rambo was the last Rambo film. Well, Stallone lies like he was at a town hall meeting speaking out against health care reform. According to Variety, this film will be totally unlike anything Rambo has ever had to confront before, as he'll be in the jungle fighting to rescue a girl from drug lords. All joking aside, Stallone had mentioned that if there were to be another Rambo movie, it would be really out there. I was interested in that film, which I only assumed could be Rambo trying to reason his way out of a problem with the power of diplomacy and conversation ("No, I'm just saying that if you are willing to consider my position...Hey, Tuk Tuk, eyes off my weirdly sagging nipples, we're negotiating here"). That, or they could make it a comedy (This summer, Rambo faces his biggest threat yet: Freshman Year. "I swear to you, if you don't pass me in this introduction to public speaking course, I'm going to disembowel you."). I'm just saying, I think there are ways to continue this noble franchise without having to make Stallone wade out into the middle of the jungle when you know damn well how brittle those hips have to be at this point. Bonus question: Is Rambo about to kill this snake or make out with it?

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