Thursday, August 20, 2009

Ryan's Junk Drawer

Hey there kids and kid-like grown-ups, it's time for that weekly dive into the treasure chest that is my junk drawer (ignore the smell, I can't Febreeze it out). There's a few tantalizing tidbits (including the second major trailer release of the day...this one not featuring ridiculous CGI, blue, genital-free hippies), so let's get junkin'.

Here are the top 5 items that weren't important enough to get a full post this week:

1.) Can Twilight On Ice be far behind? - Of all the terrible dialogue involved in Twilight (seriously, the lion/lamb thing was written by a love-sick third grader, I promise), the worst may be: Coming to your town. Creation Entertainment is putting on a series of Twilight-specific conventions, so that those nerds and regular nerds will never have to accidentally bump into each other. Side note - We need a PSA on how nerd-on-nerd crime is the worst kind. We're better than this people...okay, I'm not, but maybe you are. The conventions will be held across the country (the closest to these parts is Chicago) and will feature supporting actors, ridiculous memorabilia, and tons of freaky middle-aged women. Enjoy!

2.) Hey, it's the Wolfman, Jack! - If you can't buy the hirsute Benicio Del Toro as a wolfman, you just can't buy that anyone can turn into a wolf, which is reasonable. For the record, I now want to see this more than Avatar, despite the fact that it looks like ridiculous shenanigans. How can you not love Anthony Hopkins and Hugo Weaving in a movie where Del Toro eats people's faces. That's just good family fun.

3.) Inception interception! - If you haven't heard of Inception, you will soon, because it is directed by Christopher Nolan (he did some stupid movie about clowns and dudes with scary S&M voices) and it stars everyone you've ever heard of (Leo DiCaprio, Michael Caine, Ellen Page, Marion Cotillard, Joseph Gordon Levitt...okay, most of the people you've heard of). Until now, what has been known is that it is a "sci-fi thriller that takes place in the architecture of the mind," which sounds like batshit crazy speak. The gang at Slashfilm did some recon work, came up with a few glimpses at the teaser trailer and combined it with a post at Rotten Tomatoes and may have the answer for what it is actually about: SPOILER ALERT (although, at some point they do have to tell us this it isn't like a total spoiler but you've been warned) The movie may be about technology that allows people to enter each other's minds (think The Matrix) and plant information there. Supposedly the trailer features a sideways fight "inside the mind." Sounds good to me. Count me in (as if I wasn't already...dude made Memento and The Dark Knight, both of which are on the top 20 films of the last decade).

4.) Robert Zemeckis lowers himself - This should probably be a big post, but I don't care. Zemeckis is making a motion capture remake of The Yellow Submarine, so you can get freaked out to good music in all 3 dimensions. I like the Beatles, but that technology is some crazy shit. On the plus side, stoners around the world now have a movie to start getting really, really high for.

5.) Go off to see the Wizard - Yep, it's back. In theaters in Hi-Def for one night and one night only (until they do it again), you can go see the Wizard of Oz just like your grandparents did! Only you'll pay more than a nickel.

For ticket information in your location, head to here. Admit it, this excites you...and not just because of your bizarre "tin man" fetish.

That's it for this week's junk, see ya tomorrow!

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