Wednesday, September 23, 2009

It's official: I hate Stephanie Meyer

In what can only be seen as a spiritual follow-up to the last post I made, here's a lady writer you can feel free to despise: Stephanie "Crapmaster McRichPants" Meyer. Why her and not Diablo Cody, who I so passionately defended previously? Because Meyer basically recycles cliches, feeds it right into the mouths of hungry-hungry-hippo teens, and gets rich without having a unique thought. Blast Cody for her dialogue, but at least she's trying. Plus, the Twilight series really does little more than once-more romanticize boys who treat girls like jerks and reiterate to little girls (and big girls) that they are nothing without the love of a boy...or boy-turned-undead-or-wolf to be specific. News has broken that Meyer's first "adult" novel, The Host (which, by the way has a title that was used YEARS ago by a superior sci-fi/horror film from Korea), is going to be made into a movie directed by Andrew Niccol, who did Gattaca, which I loved. How uninspired and unoriginal is Meyer's latest? Well, bite into this juicy turd of recycled waste, here's the Publisher's Weekly description (along with my commentary in red):

[Benevolent] planet-hopping parasites are inserting their silvery centipede selves into human brains, curing cancer, eliminating war and turning Earth into paradise. Ah, yes, so she's seen "V." But some people want Earth back, warts and all, especially Melanie Stryder Anyone notice how much "Melanie Stryder" is an obvious play on Stephanie Myer?, who refuses to surrender, even after being captured in Chicago and becoming a host for a Soul [as the parasites call themselves] called Wanderer. Wow, "soul" huh. I wonder if this has any obvious religious overtones. Also, nice job on "wanderer." Melanie uses her surviving brain cells If only Meyer would do the same to persuade Wanderer to help search for her loved ones in the Arizona desert. When the pair find Melanie’s brother and her boyfriend in a hidden rebel cell led by her uncle, Wanderer is at first hated. Once the rebels accept Wanderer, whom they dub Wanda, Wanda’s whole perspective on humanity changes. Wanderer becomes Wanda? She did say this was for grown-ups, right? While the straightforward narrative is short on detail about the invasion and its stunning aftermath, it shines with romantic intrigue, especially when a love triangle (or quadrangle?!) develops for Wanda/Melanie. Because even when you're fighting for the redemption of your planet, aided by a terribly named alien, you ain't shit if you're a woman without a man.


Kill me now. So, to recap: She's taken "V," melded it with Invasion of the Body Snatchers, slapped on the title from a great Korean movie, and thrown in a romance. If this makes four dollars it's four dollars too many. I also hate that she does publicity shots like this:

http://twilightseriestheories.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/stephanie-meyer_l.jpg

NOBODY STOP HER, we're almost free!

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are sooo fucking lucky you don't know me,because this book is the best book ever.Sure it's not as origanal as you want it to be but it's still an extremly good book.
you said : "So, to recap: She's taken "V," melded it with Invasion of the Body Snatchers, slapped on the title from a great Korean movie, and thrown in a romance."

Well... It's nothing like "V" the souls are not coming straight out to the humans and saying that there health is better and that they're going to help them, they're taking there bodies, yes but still it's pretty different.
The host (the movie) was not great it sucked in comparison to the book! and what the fuck is wrong with putting romance in the book? if you didn't like twilight then why did you read the host? really?what the fuck? shut your fucking mouth you have noclue what you're fucking talking about!

November 21, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only a moron like you would appreciate any of Meyers horrid single thought creations. Nice improper use of context for "there". It's "their" fucktard

January 11, 2010  

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