Monday, September 28, 2009

Weekend Box Office Results: Let's just assume I'd have gotten 100%

Totally skipped out on predictions this week, much to the chagrin of Haiku lovers and gamblers in Vegas who have an over-under spread on how far off I am on all of the guesses. Somewhere, Jerome "Slick Willy" McDougal is cursing my name for my lack of predictions, whilst Jimmy "Sparkle Fingers" Malloy is cheering because he took the special bet "Ryan doesn't do predictions this week because he's lame." Congrats, Sparkle Fingers. You earned it.

Here are this weekend's results, haiku style:

1.) Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs - $25 million

People love this film.
I have no idea why.
Falling food fetish?

2.) Surrogates - $15 million

Bruce Willis is BACK...
to making average films
and wearing toupees.

3.) Fame - $10 million

Someone must say it:
Should your movie be called "fame,"
if nobody cares?

4.) The Informant! - $7 million

Matt Damon got fat
and was still hotter than me
and you, and you, and...

5.) Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself - $5 million

Bye, Tyler Perry.
See you again far too soon.
He's never quite gone.

That's it gang. Happy Monday to ya, and I'll catch you later.

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