Yes, I've heard that Disney bought Marvel. No, I have not yet killed myself.
This image is one I found at Slashfilm.com and I kind of love it.
Look, I know how it sounds. When news came down that Marvel got bought by Disney, it was subsequently repeated by every human alive in every medium in a tone that began to sound more and more like keening at an Irish wake. There were the five stages of grief as the day wore on:
Okay, now on to what you've been waiting for. Here are my favorite tweet-jokes about the merger with the caveat that we're done with this now. Twelve to fourteen hours of jokes like this is enough, thanks.
They are all from Brian Lynch, who you should follow on twitter if you don't because of reasons like the following:
Look, I know how it sounds. When news came down that Marvel got bought by Disney, it was subsequently repeated by every human alive in every medium in a tone that began to sound more and more like keening at an Irish wake. There were the five stages of grief as the day wore on:
- Denial - "No way, Marvel is worth way more than $4 billion. What kind of price do you put on giving a prepubescent nerd his first chubby with the Invisible Woman's latest costume redesign?"
- Anger - "If they touch (insert character you care about who has probably already had terrible writing before...like the time they made the Punisher turn into a supernatural demon hunter) I will make Mickey eat Donald and make Minnie watch."
- Bargaining - "Maybe we can convince them to just take certain characters...like Quasar. Who gives a shit about Quasar?"
- Depression - "Eff this. I'm going to ditch comics forever and do something more productive with my time and money."
- Acceptance - "Yeah, right, like I have the charisma points to do that. I'll just keep reading comics, going to the movies, and playing the video games like nothing ever happened."
Okay, now on to what you've been waiting for. Here are my favorite tweet-jokes about the merger with the caveat that we're done with this now. Twelve to fourteen hours of jokes like this is enough, thanks.
They are all from Brian Lynch, who you should follow on twitter if you don't because of reasons like the following:
- Raven-Symone spotted on Melrose, dying hair white + asking her agent for phone #'s of people that can teach her to control the weather.
- Least popular new ride at Disney: PROFESSOR X'S WILD RIDE. Least popular character change: Galactus, Devourer of Cookies.
- Donald Duck and Howard the Duck just met at Chateau Marmont to work some shit out.
- Ghost Rider: No longer a skull with flames. Now Angela Lansbury with cotton candy hair.
- Daredevil? Can't see. Daredevil? Can dance!
- Only thing stronger than adamantium? Love.
Labels: Disney and Marvel, Disney buys Marvel, Marvel and Disney
2 Comments:
Guess 1: You didn't actually read Pet Avengers, but did buy multiple copies of Marvel Apes.
or
Guess 2: You did buy Pet Avengers, only because Speed Ball has a cat, and anything Speed Ball = Cutting Room Floor approved.
Okay, fine, but I read ABOUT "Pet Avengers." I would have bought it but I want to have kids one day and I'm pretty sure it makes you sterile.
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