Adam Sandler prompts another list
I'll cut right to it, according to Variety, Adam "Son of a bitch" Sandler is going to star in the romantic comedy Jack and Jill as both Jack AND Jill. Oh, and it's going to be written by Steven "I hate things that are good" Koren, who wrote Evan Almighty and Click. If you made it through that description, congratulations! You can probably ride in one of those Blue Angels fighter planes without goin' all yakety sax. Me, I've lost my lunch and whatever tiny shred of respect I had for Adam "Total waste of human resources" Sandler. It's been awhile, but this warrants it.
25 Better Ideas Than Jack and Jill
1.) "Hey, boss, what about Assless Chaps Fridays?"
2.) "I'm just saying, if you scrape it off, it probably won't grow back."
3.) "Who's up for a 'Two and a Half Men' marathon?"
4.) "When you ask him out, mention that you no longer have a uterus."
5.) "I'm about 87% sure I can drive the rest of the way home backwards."
6.) "Hey, hold this while I light it on fire."
7.) "So you're saying you can pierce my actual testicle."
8.) "Damn the experts, I'm investing my money in Segways."
9.) "Eat this. Now, did it taste poisoned?"
10.) "I think this is the year the Cubs win it all."
11.) "That bull is totally eyeballin' me. I'm going to punch its horn."
12.) "Who's up for a 'Ghost Whisperer' marathon?"
13.) "I'll just say I want kids now, and we'll work it out after the wedding."
14.) "I'm going to try Parkour! Here, hold my asthma inhaler."
15.) "I'm sure that if I just used logic, O'Reilly would totally back down."
16.) "Pee on it. Don't argue, just pee on it."
17.) "Just set those laptops down on my pile of magnets."
18.) "I don't know, I suppose a third person could really spice things up. Kelsey Grammar?!"
19.) "Who's up for a 'NCIS,' 'NCIS: LA,' 'CSI,' 'CSI: Miami,' 'CSI: New York' marathon?!"
20.) "I'm sure you'll make it. You can jump like 30 feet, right?"
21.) "I think I'll become Facebook friends with Grandma! This decision can never come back to haunt me!"
22.) "Yes, I'm okay to drive. Now, is this my key or am I holding a parrot?"
23.) "Hey Officer Fatty McFat Pants, betcha can't catch me."
24.) "Just go in there and tell those teenaged girls that Robert Pattenson ISN'T coming."
25.) "Girls love it when you ask them out using a fake talking body part."
25 Better Ideas Than Jack and Jill
1.) "Hey, boss, what about Assless Chaps Fridays?"
2.) "I'm just saying, if you scrape it off, it probably won't grow back."
3.) "Who's up for a 'Two and a Half Men' marathon?"
4.) "When you ask him out, mention that you no longer have a uterus."
5.) "I'm about 87% sure I can drive the rest of the way home backwards."
6.) "Hey, hold this while I light it on fire."
7.) "So you're saying you can pierce my actual testicle."
8.) "Damn the experts, I'm investing my money in Segways."
9.) "Eat this. Now, did it taste poisoned?"
10.) "I think this is the year the Cubs win it all."
11.) "That bull is totally eyeballin' me. I'm going to punch its horn."
12.) "Who's up for a 'Ghost Whisperer' marathon?"
13.) "I'll just say I want kids now, and we'll work it out after the wedding."
14.) "I'm going to try Parkour! Here, hold my asthma inhaler."
15.) "I'm sure that if I just used logic, O'Reilly would totally back down."
16.) "Pee on it. Don't argue, just pee on it."
17.) "Just set those laptops down on my pile of magnets."
18.) "I don't know, I suppose a third person could really spice things up. Kelsey Grammar?!"
19.) "Who's up for a 'NCIS,' 'NCIS: LA,' 'CSI,' 'CSI: Miami,' 'CSI: New York' marathon?!"
20.) "I'm sure you'll make it. You can jump like 30 feet, right?"
21.) "I think I'll become Facebook friends with Grandma! This decision can never come back to haunt me!"
22.) "Yes, I'm okay to drive. Now, is this my key or am I holding a parrot?"
23.) "Hey Officer Fatty McFat Pants, betcha can't catch me."
24.) "Just go in there and tell those teenaged girls that Robert Pattenson ISN'T coming."
25.) "Girls love it when you ask them out using a fake talking body part."
Labels: 25 things, Adam Sandler, Jack and Jill
posted by Ryan at
9:18 AM
1 Comments:
I can't stand when someone has the potential but they just don't try. I really liked Adam Sandler in Punch Drunk Love and Reign Over Me, Click and the rest, not so much. Please try harder, Mr. Sandler, there is pathos in you, I KNOW IT!
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