For once, promises are kept; testosterone is expelled
Few moments live up to intense hype. Anticipation is euphoric, but the reality of reaching the moment is usually a let down. NOT. F**CKING. HERE.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give unto you a film in which everyone speaks in either declarative statement or a one-liner, a film in which people use jumping in slow motion from an explosion as their primary means of travel, a film in which Dolph Lundgren's acting is more believable than Sylvester Stallone's facial hair, a film in which Eric Roberts plays a central role, a film in which foreigners of undescribed origins say bad things about America and are then brutally dealt with, a film that believes the calendar is WRONG and it is still 1989. If you wanted more from The Expendables than this, you are a wuss. My life is almost complete, I just need to hang on a few more precious months before testosterone nirvana.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give unto you a film in which everyone speaks in either declarative statement or a one-liner, a film in which people use jumping in slow motion from an explosion as their primary means of travel, a film in which Dolph Lundgren's acting is more believable than Sylvester Stallone's facial hair, a film in which Eric Roberts plays a central role, a film in which foreigners of undescribed origins say bad things about America and are then brutally dealt with, a film that believes the calendar is WRONG and it is still 1989. If you wanted more from The Expendables than this, you are a wuss. My life is almost complete, I just need to hang on a few more precious months before testosterone nirvana.
Labels: Expendables preview, expendables trailer, sylvester stallone
posted by Ryan at
9:36 AM
2 Comments:
This movie has me so amped I could snap Chuck Norris in half.
Yeeeeeha! Seriously, it makes you want to say some nonsensical line of dialogue in a way that sounds like a threat, doesn't it. Like "Hey, buddy, your tire pressure is low." Ooooooooh shit, no he didn't!
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