Things you should buy me (Volume 7)

So, if you're keeping track at home...which you should be but aren't...no one has still bought (or given) me any of this, this, this, this, this, or this. Why do I keep trying? Because I'm an eternal optimist with a heart two sizes too big. I keep believin' that someone is going to give, buy, or steal me something from one of this increasingly growing list of awesome. You watch, it'll happen (or not).

Here's the cool shit I need but don't have for this week:

1.) Zombie love is always in season - Hats off once more to Slashfilm for pointing out this T-shirt from Threadless.

Seriously, this is like the greatest shirt ever. Even if you aren't into zombies (and if that's the case, what are you doing reading this blog), you have to admit that this is the balls. Supposedly, if you look closely, there's a few notable zombies thrown in there. If it turns out there's a Rush Limbaugh zombie, I'm totally buying this and not waiting for one of you to do the right thing and buy it for me or give it to me.

2.) Product of the millennium - Thinkgeek.com is just about the coolest place on the whole Interwebs. Seriously, folks, their stuff is pretty much universally bad-ass. And you can trust me, because they haven't given me anything either. They have, however, invented the product that will change my life forever.


That's caffeine-infused beef jerky. Yes, you read that right. That is caffeinated meat. Oh. My. God. You can keep your energy drinks and cups of java, I'm going to eat rejuvenating meat bites. I'm going to gnaw my way to waking up. "Hey, honey, do you want a cup of coffee or would you like some hunks of dead cow?" Seriously, this is going to change everything I ever knew to be true. I need a case of this.

3.) The Force is strong with this Moo Goo Gai Pan - Ever sit there eating some delicious Chinese food and think, "how can I both enjoy this braised pork AND convince the world I'm the coolest Jedi alive?" Think no more, as Geek Stuff 4 U has delivered lightsaber chopsticks.
I mean, seriously, how is this not in every home in America? God bless capitalism and the blanket of security we're provided so that we may come up with awesome shit like this.