It's official: The Oscars have doubled everything

When the announcement was made to double stuff the Best Picture category at the Oscars to a mind-boggling 10 movies (I know some critics who pretend they didn't like that many movies in a decade), I was alarmed. Not because I don't think it's a good idea (it's kind of a good idea, but I also trust they can screw up 10 spots like they screwed up 5 for years) but because I thought it was a sign that the Academy was addressing sluggish ratings by excess...which is kind of what turned people off in the first place. Glad to see that my concerns are totally unfounded, as the Academy has opted for two hosts this year instead of the regular one. Steve Martin, who was funny 20 or more years ago and is now a sad parody of himself, and Alec Baldwin, who is pitch-perfect for the gig and should have gotten the job solo, will schitck and move for the approximate 17 hours that the ceremony will last. If anyone's set up an over/under Vegas bet on self-absorbed egotistical jokes, my guess is eleventy billion. Martin wasn't even funny when he was on the funniest show on television with Alec awile back ("30 Rock"), so I don't hold out a lot of hope that this will be anything other than lukewarm, occasionally obnoxious hosting interspersed with a few moments of genuine levity from Baldwin. Geez, how sad is it when I legitimately consider Alec Baldwin to be funnier than a guy who has done comedy his whole life. Of course, this pairing eliminates my suggestions, which included Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck (the ceremony would last 4 minutes before Sean Penn devoured both Dawn of the Dead style), Jon Gossling and the corpse of Michael Jackson (you know, for the ratings), and Bjork (for funsies).