Oscar nominations! Reaction time!!!!

As you know, I'm gearing up for a huge-ass post on "Lost," which I really hope I get to before I yearn to return to the womb-like embrace of my bed. Still, as an unrepentant Oscar apologist (as in, I like watching the Awards...even if I detest who they often honor), I MUST speak on the rather unsurprising (but passably satisfying) nominations.

Although they're where I make my moves in the Oscar pools (and by Oscar pools, I mean swimming pools named Oscar, Mr. IRS), I'm omitting the categories people don't buzz about (although, FYI, the editing and cinematography awards should be among the most important but for some reason we don't care that those editors and cinematographers decide how the movie looks and how the story is told).

Without further ado, let's get started:

BEST PICTURE
Avatar The Blind Side District 9 An Education The Hurt Locker Inglourious Basterds Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire A Serious Man Up Up in the Air

My take: Wow. It's just crazy looking at all those titles, isn't it. When I told Abbie (my wife) that they had increased the Best Picture nominees by DOUBLING the category, she instantly said "that's too many, they should have gone with 7." She's right. That's the exact number I would have gone with, trimming off The Blind Side, A Serious Man, and An Education, none of which have a real chance to win and none of which are radically impacted by the nomination. What do I mean? Well, Avar, Inglourious Basterds, Up in the Air, and The Hurt Locker all have a legitimate chance to win. Meanwhile, District 9, Up, and Precious are all notable for their nomination. District 9 because it is true, hard-core, original sci-fi (a genre that ALWAYS gets left out), Up because it's the first Best Picture animated nominee since Beauty and the Beast, and Precious because it's a black director with a black cast adapted from a novel by a black author that just got nominated for best effing picture, proving that Tyler Perry isn't the only relevant name in that field. All in all, this is going to be a tight fight made tighter by the size of the group and, ultimately, the Academy wins in 2 regards: 1 - I do not know who will win (in part because of this huge size) and 2 - I get to call my favorite movie of the year D9 a best picture nominee. Rad.

DIRECTING
Kathryn Bigelow - The Hurt Locker
James Cameron - Avatar
Lee Daniels - Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire
Jason Reitman - Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino - Inglourious Basterds

My reaction: First off, glad to see that the douchenozzles at the Academy didn't go for the obligatory Eastwood nod instead of Daniels, who was the most likely candidate to get screwed by the reanimated corpse of Clint. Second, this isn't tough for me. You give this to Bigelow. Period. I actually think Tarantino had the better movie, and it is a crime that he doesn't have a Best Director statue yet, but still...A WOMAN HAS NEVER WON FOR BEST DIRECTOR. Ever. She directed an exceptional, exceptional film, and anyone who thinks that this is just a vote for whoever did the best job at their craft this year is a deluded lunatic (a delunatic?). This is always about the stuff outside of the movies too. So I'm on Team Bigelow in a big way.

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Jeff Bridges - Crazy Heart
George Clooney - Up in the Air
Colin Firth - A Single Man
Morgan Freeman - Invictus
Jeremy Renner - The Hurt Locker

My reaction: Yawn. That's my reaction here. Yawn. Enjoy your statue, "The Dude." We all know Bridges will win, but it is nice to see Renner get nominated. He's been doing great work for years and I hope this gets him nice and famous. He deserves it. I watched him on a talk show the other night (Kimmel maybe) and he was great. I'd love for a shocker here, but it won't happen.

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Sandra Bullock - The Blind Side
Helen Mirren - The Last Station
Carey Mulligan - An Education
Gabourey Sidibe - Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire
Meryl Streep - Julie & Julia

My reaction: Yawn part deaux. Bullock will win. Streep should win. She made a movie about a woman cooking through a cookbook exceptionally watchable. I know she's always nominated and her humility schtick is getting old (the "SNL" sketch on it was right on), but she's nominated for a good reason: She's the best. The others are all forgettable. Bullock will win because Hollywood loves this story. I'll probably enjoy her mushy, overly rehearsed acceptance speech because I'm a big softie.

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Matt Damon - Invictus
Woody Harrelson - The Messenger
Christopher Plummer - The Last Station
Stanley Tucci - The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz - Inglourious Basterds

My reaction: If any of you motherf**kers takes Waltz's motherf**king statue, I'll execute every motherf**king last one of you. A little Tarantino humor there. Another snoozer, though. Waltz MADE the movie. I hope he gets famous too.

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Penelope Cruz - Nine
Vera Farmiga - Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick - Up in the Air
Mo’Nique - Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire

My reaction: Boy is it a good thing the Directing and Best Picture categories are wide open, because these aren't. The only real snub in the whole mess of nominations in my book (besides MAYBE a meaningless best pic nod for Star Trek) is no Melanie Laurent here. Her character in Inglourious was the underpraised glue. Mo'Nique will win this. Oh, and before I forget, my friend Mike asked me what I thought about the Kendrick nomination. If I'm being honest, it's deserved but, as Simon Cowell says, with a small "d." There were a few better performances from supporting roles. However, being that she said Omaha was "sexy" when she filmed here. I'm on Team Kendrick all the way!!! I love you Anna! Here, you can be the only one whose picture makes the blog! I'll promote your nomination with all the power of my tiny, tiny corner of the Interwebs.

LOVE YOU!

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Neill Blomkamp - District 9
Nick Hornby - An Education
Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci and Tony Roche - In the Loop
Geoffrey Fletcher - Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire
Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner - Up in the Air

My reactions: Can't complain too bad again here. It's Reitman's to lose, although I'd prefer Blomkamp so he actually was rewarded for originality (despite being in the adapted category...he adapted himself...yep, for real...in public too). Sorry thoughts are so short here, but there really wasn't anything crazy.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Mark Boal - The Hurt Locker
Quentin Tarantino - Inglourious Basterds
Oren Moverman and - The Messenger
Joel and Ethan Coen - A Serious Man
Pete Docter and Bob Peterson - Up

My reactions: First off, HUZZAH FOR NO AVATAR!!! That script was flaming bantha poodoo, it was horrible, horrible, horrible. I was afraid since it got the nod for Best Picture it would get the obligatory nod here. Thankfully, no! This is probably Tarantino's, as the usual thinking is that the best movie not to win Best Picture gets love in the script awards. Plus, it helps that it was the year's best script. He used language as a weapon and it was awesome.

Okay, so what about the snubs? I couldn't see a ton. If you did, let me know. That's my take on this. I'm about to drop some hard-core sudafed and be back with "Lost" shenanigans! Snootches.