Tuesday Dumping

This isn't going to become a permanent column. I don't want my Junk Drawer getting jealous. Still, I'm face with two choices: Either (A) overlook a bounty of interesting news or (B) dump it, and dump it fast. I'm going with choice (B), because I think this dump will make me feel better.

Here are a bunch of quick looks at stories I should spend more time on but won't because I'm busy and because I'm thinking about "Lost."

• If they weren't talking about whether or not Kevin Smith is too fat to fly Southwest Airlines (a feud that has launched 10,000 fat jokes), everyone in the world was talking about a certain rumor. This includes the Godfather of movie critics Roger Ebert (be he ever so holy). Everyone was tweeting and posting and commenting and generally spazzing to the max about a potential remake/sequel of Taxi Driver by Lars von Trier that would have the blessing of Martin Scorsese and potentially feature Robert DeNiro. Interesting thoughts were espoused on the subject, huge treatises were written, much flagellation and whining and gnashing of teeth occurred...and it turns out it's all a load of shit. von Trier's business partner tells ScreenDaily that it ain't happenin'...and it was never happenin'. Rumor = KaSMOOSHED.
• While we're in the business of KaSMOOSHING, Chris Pine probably won't be Captain America. I know, he'd probably be great, but are we really ready to live in a world where Captain Kirk and Captain America are the same person? Too weird. I mean, unless you had Shatner doing both, because then F**K YEAH! He would over-emote the Red Skull to death, yo.
  
  
  
  Anyway, it ain't happening because Joe Johnston already claimed he wanted an unknown for the part ages ago, and if that weren't enough, I think the shooting would at least potentially conflict with his "Stardates." Are there really enough nerd properties out there now that famous dudes each get two? Ryan Reynolds as both Deadpool AND Green Lantern for example? This seems a bit greedy to me.
  
• Oscar nominees are being asked to prepare 2 scripts for thank yous this year. One with the cool stuff we like to hear (when they try to relate to world peace, world hunger, or totally just sound like shallow asshats who don't understand that 99% of what they do is pure entertainment and not game-changing art), and one with every accountant, tax preparer, and grape fluffer who make their lives easy. The latter will be filmed by a camera to be shown on the internet and the former will be what goes out live. Nobody's going to do this, for fear that in relegating their accountant to the Internets they'll suddenly develop massive tax problems, but it's a good idea. I hope some people do it. It makes for a more interesting show and I don't think it makes anybody look less gracious. I think this may be a good excuse to have the winners put the spotlight on themselves, something you KNOW they want to do anyway.
• A new Tron Legacy trailer may be released on February 24th. In related news NOBODY BOTHER ME ON FEBRUARY 24th. Apparently, there's a countdown of some kind using viral marketing that suggests the new trailer will drop that day. I hope so because I'm itchin' for some glowin' lightcycles like you wouldn't believe!
  
• Finally, I saved the most hallucinatory for last, Nick Cave is doing a motion capture version of The Threepenny Opera with Gollum. Yep. That's Nick Cave + Andy Serkis (the guy who played Gollum in Lord of the Rings) + CGI animation + Bertold Brecht's "Threepenny Opera" = Holy shit that's insane. I'm pretty sure this will give my nightmares nightmares...but I kind of can't wait.

Okay, now we're caught up. On to "Lost!"

Oscar nominations! Reaction time!!!!

As you know, I'm gearing up for a huge-ass post on "Lost," which I really hope I get to before I yearn to return to the womb-like embrace of my bed. Still, as an unrepentant Oscar apologist (as in, I like watching the Awards...even if I detest who they often honor), I MUST speak on the rather unsurprising (but passably satisfying) nominations.

Although they're where I make my moves in the Oscar pools (and by Oscar pools, I mean swimming pools named Oscar, Mr. IRS), I'm omitting the categories people don't buzz about (although, FYI, the editing and cinematography awards should be among the most important but for some reason we don't care that those editors and cinematographers decide how the movie looks and how the story is told).

Without further ado, let's get started:

BEST PICTURE
Avatar The Blind Side District 9 An Education The Hurt Locker Inglourious Basterds Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire A Serious Man Up Up in the Air

My take: Wow. It's just crazy looking at all those titles, isn't it. When I told Abbie (my wife) that they had increased the Best Picture nominees by DOUBLING the category, she instantly said "that's too many, they should have gone with 7." She's right. That's the exact number I would have gone with, trimming off The Blind Side, A Serious Man, and An Education, none of which have a real chance to win and none of which are radically impacted by the nomination. What do I mean? Well, Avar, Inglourious Basterds, Up in the Air, and The Hurt Locker all have a legitimate chance to win. Meanwhile, District 9, Up, and Precious are all notable for their nomination. District 9 because it is true, hard-core, original sci-fi (a genre that ALWAYS gets left out), Up because it's the first Best Picture animated nominee since Beauty and the Beast, and Precious because it's a black director with a black cast adapted from a novel by a black author that just got nominated for best effing picture, proving that Tyler Perry isn't the only relevant name in that field. All in all, this is going to be a tight fight made tighter by the size of the group and, ultimately, the Academy wins in 2 regards: 1 - I do not know who will win (in part because of this huge size) and 2 - I get to call my favorite movie of the year D9 a best picture nominee. Rad.

DIRECTING
Kathryn Bigelow - The Hurt Locker
James Cameron - Avatar
Lee Daniels - Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire
Jason Reitman - Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino - Inglourious Basterds

My reaction: First off, glad to see that the douchenozzles at the Academy didn't go for the obligatory Eastwood nod instead of Daniels, who was the most likely candidate to get screwed by the reanimated corpse of Clint. Second, this isn't tough for me. You give this to Bigelow. Period. I actually think Tarantino had the better movie, and it is a crime that he doesn't have a Best Director statue yet, but still...A WOMAN HAS NEVER WON FOR BEST DIRECTOR. Ever. She directed an exceptional, exceptional film, and anyone who thinks that this is just a vote for whoever did the best job at their craft this year is a deluded lunatic (a delunatic?). This is always about the stuff outside of the movies too. So I'm on Team Bigelow in a big way.

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Jeff Bridges - Crazy Heart
George Clooney - Up in the Air
Colin Firth - A Single Man
Morgan Freeman - Invictus
Jeremy Renner - The Hurt Locker

My reaction: Yawn. That's my reaction here. Yawn. Enjoy your statue, "The Dude." We all know Bridges will win, but it is nice to see Renner get nominated. He's been doing great work for years and I hope this gets him nice and famous. He deserves it. I watched him on a talk show the other night (Kimmel maybe) and he was great. I'd love for a shocker here, but it won't happen.

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Sandra Bullock - The Blind Side
Helen Mirren - The Last Station
Carey Mulligan - An Education
Gabourey Sidibe - Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire
Meryl Streep - Julie & Julia

My reaction: Yawn part deaux. Bullock will win. Streep should win. She made a movie about a woman cooking through a cookbook exceptionally watchable. I know she's always nominated and her humility schtick is getting old (the "SNL" sketch on it was right on), but she's nominated for a good reason: She's the best. The others are all forgettable. Bullock will win because Hollywood loves this story. I'll probably enjoy her mushy, overly rehearsed acceptance speech because I'm a big softie.

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Matt Damon - Invictus
Woody Harrelson - The Messenger
Christopher Plummer - The Last Station
Stanley Tucci - The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz - Inglourious Basterds

My reaction: If any of you motherf**kers takes Waltz's motherf**king statue, I'll execute every motherf**king last one of you. A little Tarantino humor there. Another snoozer, though. Waltz MADE the movie. I hope he gets famous too.

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Penelope Cruz - Nine
Vera Farmiga - Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick - Up in the Air
Mo’Nique - Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire

My reaction: Boy is it a good thing the Directing and Best Picture categories are wide open, because these aren't. The only real snub in the whole mess of nominations in my book (besides MAYBE a meaningless best pic nod for Star Trek) is no Melanie Laurent here. Her character in Inglourious was the underpraised glue. Mo'Nique will win this. Oh, and before I forget, my friend Mike asked me what I thought about the Kendrick nomination. If I'm being honest, it's deserved but, as Simon Cowell says, with a small "d." There were a few better performances from supporting roles. However, being that she said Omaha was "sexy" when she filmed here. I'm on Team Kendrick all the way!!! I love you Anna! Here, you can be the only one whose picture makes the blog! I'll promote your nomination with all the power of my tiny, tiny corner of the Interwebs.

LOVE YOU!

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Neill Blomkamp - District 9
Nick Hornby - An Education
Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci and Tony Roche - In the Loop
Geoffrey Fletcher - Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire
Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner - Up in the Air

My reactions: Can't complain too bad again here. It's Reitman's to lose, although I'd prefer Blomkamp so he actually was rewarded for originality (despite being in the adapted category...he adapted himself...yep, for real...in public too). Sorry thoughts are so short here, but there really wasn't anything crazy.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Mark Boal - The Hurt Locker
Quentin Tarantino - Inglourious Basterds
Oren Moverman and - The Messenger
Joel and Ethan Coen - A Serious Man
Pete Docter and Bob Peterson - Up

My reactions: First off, HUZZAH FOR NO AVATAR!!! That script was flaming bantha poodoo, it was horrible, horrible, horrible. I was afraid since it got the nod for Best Picture it would get the obligatory nod here. Thankfully, no! This is probably Tarantino's, as the usual thinking is that the best movie not to win Best Picture gets love in the script awards. Plus, it helps that it was the year's best script. He used language as a weapon and it was awesome.

Okay, so what about the snubs? I couldn't see a ton. If you did, let me know. That's my take on this. I'm about to drop some hard-core sudafed and be back with "Lost" shenanigans! Snootches.