Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Look upon Tyrese and weep

Folks, we can now resume our daily lives: We now have photographic evidence that Tyrese is, for sure, in Transformers 3: Michael Bay Hates All of Us.
5 things we can tell from this first leaked image from Transformers 3: Poop Strikes Back:

1.) We can finally get some answers to the complex character Tyrese has portrayed in two previous films. Like, how does he feel about skull caps? Is he willing to duck lower than Shia LaBeouf? Does he like military-esque fanny packs? How about elbow tattoos? These questions and more will be answered in Transformers 3: Look at What You've Done, America.

2.) Shia LaBeouf will win any stupid reaction contest you can hold.

3.) The characters in the third movie still think they can shoot giant alien robots with bullets and be effective.

4.) LaBeouf is holding firm to his "only leather jackets" wardrobe clause in his contract.

5.) God still isn't swayed by the evil of Bay enough to have the earth swallow the production of Transformers 3: Nazibots, Teaparticons, and Bigotmachines.

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