Wednesday, June 9, 2010

What's in a name? Crap. Crap is in a name.

And a happy humpday to ya! I assume everybody had or once had that creepy dude at work who wished you a happy humpday. Well, seeing as how he's probably been fired and/or those charges finally stuck, I figured I'd take over for him. Speaking of inappropriate, Ain’t It Cool has sources so deeply embedded at 20th Century Fox that they must have been willing to receive full lobotomies. That's a dedication to spying so deep that Karl Rove is looking for a way to leak their names to the press. The big news that the traitors to the 20th Century Fox mission statement ("Making bad movies that make good money") were able to leak: The names of the upcoming Fantastic Four reboot and the next Die Hard movie. They are, respectively, Fantastic Four Reborn and Die Hard 24/7. I think if you tried really, really hard, you couldn't come up with two worse titles. Okay, maybe something with a colon that doesn't need it (cough, Captain America: The First Avenger, cough).

As for the projects themselves, I'm on the fence. On the one hand, we must never forget that 20th Century Fox is almost incapable of not ruining the films they have access to. It's almost pathological with them (boy am I going to have to delete these posts fast when I try to shop my screenplay to 20th Century Fox...I can, and will, sell out). On the other hand, whenever I read the current Hickman run on the "Fantastic Four" comic, all I'm left thinking is "how come THIS can't be an incredible movie?" If they went for a blend of comic book and sci-fi, I think they'd really have something. Plus it has instant family appeal if it's done, you know, not totally shitty. And by totally shitty, I mean this:

All fear Galactus' sort of glowing silhouette and his massive...fart cloud? And even worse:
She's a scientist because she wears glasses because scientists wear glasses even if it means they're not as pretty. Hate.

So, maybe a new FF movie could, I don't know, follow some of the more clever storylines in the comic, not get bogged down by an origin that is in no way complicated (scientist/astronauts get bombarded by cosmic rays. The end.), and cast it more appropriately, I'd be down for it. They certainly had to start over after the Galactus fart.

Now, as for the geriatric John McClane...I kind of liked Live Free or Die Hard. The title was a Galactus fart (I'm using it now), but it was kind of fun. Not as a Die Hard movie, because it was like a Looney Toons version of one where there was no actual blood, but as a generic action movie. I have no clue about the plot of the next one, but seeing as how the series was realistically dead after the second one (you can be a guy who something crazy happens to once or twice, but after that it's totally insane), I just want something fun. See, I'm not overly demanding.

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Anonymous Anonymous El Segundo said...

There are some things I will allow to go off on the internet, but I dont care if they put her in science goggles... she was the best for that role. Any role. ALBA FOR MILLION DOLLAR BABY II!!!

June 09, 2010  
Blogger Ryan said...

I'm down with the Million Dollar Baby 2 idea, provided she plays the corpse. Was that too creepy and evil sounding?

June 10, 2010  

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