Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 39)

It's that time of week again. No, not the time for your obligatory awkward conversation with your boss where you try to make it sound like you don't long for the sweet release of death every day by about 10 am. No, it's time for you to decide how best to get me free shit. It could be as simple as you working for or with one of the companies who makes or has access to some of the following merchandise. Then you can convince them that it would behoove them to pamper me in some way, or you could just steal me stuff. Either way. Obviously, I joke, but notsofar as I won't encourage you to email me at film@thereader.com to get my address so that you can send me that stolen and/or free merchandise we spoke of. I kid, this is really just a chance to share some cool products with you all. I kid about kidding, I want stuff. Specifically, here are the three things I want most this week:

1.) We've discussed Voltron before, you and I - As you know, I loved Voltron and a child and was denied joy by my parents who decided I didn't need to own the Black Lion that comprised the headpiece and torso so much as I needed to own the Yellow Lion who represented Voltron's athlete's foot. I have a solution now.
That's a USB drive, complete with friggin' giant sword. I'm not the world's biggest fan of character USBs, on account of them not really serving a purpose. That said, this would serve MULTIPLE purposes for me. (A) It would ensure that I'm able to thwart any tiny space villains that may (and have) attack my desk. (B) It would make me feel like a giant, towering over a tiny robot. (C) It would finally make me the owner of all Voltron lions. Take that, Mom and Dad!

2.) Bring me the head of Spider-man! - Pancakes are one of the seven major food groups. Thus, the opportunity to eat the head of my favorite character is important to my general dietary health. Nerdapproved got me halfway there with this:
Except, they couldn't find a way to actually buy it. There's a placeholder on Amazon for it and no real way to guarantee that I can get buttermilk goodness that once resembled my favorite hero into my stomach. I know that there's a way, somehow, to get one of these bad boys, but it will be sadness in my house until I am flipping these flapjacks into my gullet. Oh, yeah, and kids will probably find it rad too.

3.) The closest you'll come to a new Ghostbusters anything - We all know that Ghostbusters 3 is never, ever going to happen, right? Okay, well then consider this me telling you. Threadless.com has the following deliciousness that just demands to be worn to your nostalgia parties.

It may not be exactly what we want, but a T-shirt in which the Stay Puft marshmallow man is floating dismembered in your cocoa is about as good as life gets, right?

That's all I want this week, it seems reasonable if you ask me, which you didn't.

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