Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 41)

It's me again, but you knew that, right? This is my weekly chance to beg you for things, even though I'm really just sharing things with you that are cool, even though that's kind of a lie because I want you to send me stuff, even though you really don't have to, even though you should, even though you probably don't know how, even though you might send an email to film@thereader.com to get my address, even though you know I'm just kidding, even though I'm not.

Here are the things I want this week:

1.) I have longed to feast on the flesh of the undead, so...this really works works for me - Nerd Approved continues to be the best place to find strange, awesome things...and strange-awesome is the best kind of awesome next to hot-awesome, which is nowhere near as fun as strange-hot (which is what I like to call, the Vera Farmiga). So what do they have to make me hunger today?
How do you NOT want to eat Zombie Jerky? And not just because it's called Zombie Jerky, but because it's friggin' green meat. You've wanted green meat forever, right? At least since Sam I Am was all "you should eat green protein." They get extra points for the packaging, which has the contagion symbol AND the word "Teriyucky," and double points for the fact that the hand in that photo seems to have green UNDER THE FINGERNAILS. That's attention to detail. Get this for me.

2.) If you don't love Yahtzee, I don't love you - Seriously, who doesn't love Yahtzee? Nazis? Oh, God, nothing is worse than a Yahtzee-hatin' Nazi. If you are a normal human, go to ThinkGeek and pick up this:
That's Super Mario Yahtzee, which is the coolest thing Mario has ever done this side of Princess Peach. From the question mark block that will shoot out mushrooms and stars to the fact that I'm going to yell "it's-a-me!" every time I roll, this is endlessly entertaining for anyone who knows that Yahtzee is the coolest nonsense word ever. I smell game night! Seriously, I still smell it, nobody cleaned up.

3.) Sometimes, I'm angry. But I ALWAYS love Care Bears - The only answer to the fact that I am relentlessly grumpy at times is this shirt from Threadless.com.
OH GOD, look at how angry they are. The one on the right is wearing sunglasses AND IT'S ALREADY DARK. The one up top is smoking, because he invites cancer to fight him. The one on the left is going to kill you with a smiling star. They ruined a rainbow. Maybe even a DOUBLE RAINBOW. The one on the left is tagging something, probably a church. This shirt is so hardcore, it kicked my ass just for posting it. Enjoy.

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