Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 42)

Well, it's Wednesday, which means you've almost made it through half of the week (that's a sad accomplishment when phrased that way, and I apologize for saying that). It also means that it's time for me to stand before you with my empty pockets pulled out, with my hands cupped, with a tear in my eye that says "please...please send me cool free swag because I promote awesomeness around the interwebs and it would be great for me to show others the coolness that I get for free." It's been months since it worked, which may be a sign that I'm only doing this for funsies to share with everyone the cool stuff available, or may be a sign that I am more committed than ever to getting the word out about my need for free crap. Probably the former, but let's pretend it's the latter. Quick, to the crap I'm hyping this week!

1.) I love this rug, and it knows - Here's how this works, you make an item involving Han Solo in carbonite and I will love it. End of story.
This is a throw rug (notice the fringe) that every male in the world should want proudly adorning the floor of their man cave, no matter how tiny said cave may be. The product potential of this one moment in movie history continues to amaze me. Do you think Lucas, high off on all of the Bolivian nose candy that Star Wars money could buy, thought "you know, in a few decades, they're going to use this as soap and rugs" when he was conceiving of this moment? God I hope so. Keep it coming. Don't tell me we're done with this yet. There has to be more ways to use Han Solo in Carbonite. I will never stop seeking them out.

2.) The single most effed up thing I've ever put here - I find some weird crap, mostly through ThinkGeek and Nerdapproved, but this takes the cake...and the cupcakes and the toaster strudels. Folks, this is a garden statue, I want you to remember that.
Yeah, that's right, it's a zombie crawling it's way up from the ground AS A GARDEN STATUE. I mean, sure, for Halloween, this is aces. You put one of these out there in a conspicuous place, put a sound recording of a mumbling about brains behind it, and you have one of the greatest show pieces for your suburban neighborhood's bizarre obsession with the macabre once a year. But, like, in July? Do you put this out there? I mean, I'm a sick bastard, but this is a bit much, right? No? I agree, I was just testing you. This is awesome.

3.) Most perfect shirt of all time? Maybe. - Yeah, Threadless has hit another home run. Better than the "realistic" muppet shirt they displayed a long time ago, I give to you "The X-Menagerie."
Seriously, what can you possibly not love about this? It's as perfect a shirt as has been made from fabric and dreams. The Wolverine alone is worth the price of admission, and let's not even talk about the Storm as a pretty, pretty pony angle. Hats off. Really, because if you're wearing this, no one will even look at your head.

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