Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Yin and Yang of Monsterpocalypse

Let's play a rousing game of good news/bad news for the upcoming Monsterpocalypse, inspired by the exclusive news at Slashfilm!

Good news: The plot is that monsters fight humans, humans fend them off, the monsters hide for awhile, the humans figure out they're hiding and build big robots with which to fight the monsters, and then the humans in giant robot suits fight giant monsters. That's perhaps the single best single sentence plot description I have ever written.

Bad news: This is the inspiration for the movie.

Good news: Ken Ralston is developing the monsters, who are said to be the size of buildings, and he helped design Star Wars and Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Bad news: It's envisioned as a 3D big-budget endeavor, meaning the monsters will probably (A) only attack because they wanted a hug, (B) have a distinct lack of slightly phallic tentacles everywhere, and (C) never eat anybody.

Good news: Uh, I covered the robots right? Because there are giant robots.

Bad news: The guy who wrote Titan A.E. is writing it.

Good news: Okay, but to be fair, that guy also wrote Go and The Nines.

Bad news: Yeah, well, he also wrote Big Fish and The Corpse Bride.

Good news: Right, those are very flawed, but not bad. The worst thing about those is the director. You can't fault him for the fact that Tim Burton sucks, right?

Bad news: Tim Burton is going to direct Monsterpocalypse.

Good news: Motherf..

Bad news: Voltron will not be in it.

Good news: Why even say that? Did someone think Voltron would be in it?

Bad news: Tim Burton is still directing.

Good news: You already said that.

Bad news: Well, it's REALLY bad news.

Good news: Solid point there. Man, I ran out of good things like a long time ago.

Bad news: I win!

Good news: You're a jerk.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

If your blog had a Facebook-style "Like" button, I'd click it for this post.

July 20, 2010  
Anonymous DAVE said...

Dude. So glad you agree Tim Burton sucks. Everything since Edward Scissorhands has been terrible.

July 20, 2010  

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