Wednesday, August 25, 2010

It all leads to this...

We've done this, you and I. Our tolerance, our compassion, our general willingness to not find and bludgeon Adam Sandler has lead to Jack and Jill, a movie in which Sandler will play twins...a brother and a sister. When we looked the other way on Chuck and Larry, refusing to lower ourselves to homicide just to save human dignity; when we didn't riot in the streets after Grown-ups tallied a ton of cash this summer; when we chose not to light everyone and everything Sandler touched on fire in the wake of Click, we were inherently asking for such a thing to happen. Oh, and news came out today that he's taking some folks with him on his final quest to destroy joy and human history.
Katie Holmes, shown here in the position in which she gets tossed onto the couch after an escape attempt.

And Al Pacino, shown here acknowledging he probably gave up his dignity around the time he began posing with 50 Cent.

What you have here is perhaps the saddest collection of words I've ever strung together, what with the Sandler playing a female twin, Pacino starring in a Sandler movie, and Holmes inevitably trying to act like she's sexually attracted to Sandler (although, to be fair, this is good casting given her experience). I don't even need to check the release date to see that this will be arriving in December of 2012, as the Mayans long ago told of this day. I believe it was Nostradamus who once said "There will be an unfunny man who looks like a potato in a microwave. He will hire a midget's wife and a former king. Together, they will ruin the world." Enjoy, America!

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