Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 43)

Well, it's that day of the week again, which means it's time for me to beg people out there to send an email to film@thereader.com in order to send me more than a mere email. The idea is that people in possession of the sorts of swag I mention below can contact me for an actual address at which to send me goods I did not pay for. Obviously, I'm kidding, this is just a collection of cool stuff. Or am I kidding about kidding? Is this a fun display of nerd items disguised as begging or begging disguised as me disguising nerd items with begging? The only way to tell is to send me these things. Specifically, here's what I want this week:

1.) Jesus? Darwin? Roddenberry - You have to give it up for the hubris of Trekkies (Trekkers, losers, whatever). I mean, the argument that has been going on over the rear bumpers of cars between those who support Jesus as the way of life and those who support the scientific discoveries of Darwin has been epic to say the least. For Shatner-enthusiasts to throw their hats in the ring, well that must just be because the general fish design kind of looks like the Enterprise. Look at the picture below on the right and tell me the best part of this.


Of course the dude drives a Prius, right? That shit is hilarious. Anyway, for those of you looking to make a non-religious statement on the back of your vehicle, buy the Trek fish here.

2.) Mom, I want to eat the Millennium Falcon - I've loved the Spider-man and Star Trek pancake makers, but I generally prefer to eat sandwiches. So howsabout a lunchbox that contains within it the molds necessary to sculpt a tie fighter and Millennium Falcon sandwich (sans crust, of course)?

You wouldn't even have to actually be a child to feel like one when you're mowing down the Imperial evil-doers with your mouth, or pretending to be a giant monster living inside an asteroid into which the Falcon can park itself. The possibilities are endless! Get your rad eating on via TheForce.net.

3.) Inconceivable! - Finally, we score one for the good guys. After years of board games being made into movies, we finally have an old movie turned into a board game.


If you couldn't tell from that really terrible shot, this is "Storming the Castle," as in "Have fun storming the castle," as in a Princess Bride board game. This cult classic that has turned into a global phenomenon has finally turned into a game that you can play while showing the world that you know every line of dialogue (and that's really not annoying at all). I'm not sure how many times one could play such a game, but then again, I've seen the movie approximately a billion times, so somewhere in there I'm guessing. Click here to save Princess Buttercup!

Okay, that's it for my weekly wants. I promise to yearn for more next week.

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