Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 45)

Well hello, hello, hello. As we all know, Wednesday is the third day of the week, provided you aren't one of those hippies who thinks Sunday starts a new week or Joey from "Friends." Hence, you get three hellos preceding my traditional Wednesday begging for you to send me sweet, sweet swag. I want so badly for someone to step up to the plate and send me 100% free one of these items below by first contacting me at film@thereader.com for my actual address, but I fear such a thing is not to be. Obviously, I do this column weekly as a service to show you cool stuff out there in the world, but if someone should feel the desire to send me this stuff, I will keep it. I will also photograph myself with it to show you I love it, not just to rub it in. What do I want this week? Let's see!

1.) This shirt was made for me - Check out this adorable T-shirt on this adorable lass from Threadless.com.

It's okay to stare there, that's where the words are. And if you couldn't read them, they say "Haikus are easy/but sometimes they don't make sense/refrigerator." That's something I need, wouldn't you say. I will point out that I am single-handedly keeping the medium of haiku box office predicting alive. I really thought it would catch on by now.

2.) You can't get this for me, but I had to show it to you - This is something that George Lucas presented to John Stewart as a thank you for hosting the Star Wars celebration thingie last week.

Yeah, that's John Stewart as a Stormtrooper, complete with goatee or goatee-free changeable heads. I believe they only made one of these, which is just too bad, because if it were available I would totally own one. I'm just saying if you want to also make some Fox News ones, like Glenn Beck as Darth Vader or Bill O'Reilly as the Emperor...or Rush Limbaugh as Jabba, I'm totally down with that too. I would so own those. Kudos to you, John. You've finally really made it.

3.) It's a me! Organized! - File cabinets are the most boring, necessary pieces of furniture out there. but what if they could be a bit cooler?

Yeah, that's right, it's not just Mario themed cabinets...it's SUPER MARIO 2 themed cabinets. I'm one of those crazies who always preferred that second game the most. Maybe it was the size of the characters or the fact that the whole thing was so damn hallucinatory, but it was just the most fun I've ever had with the little Italian plumber and friends. To think, I could file my tax returns inside a question mark block with a turnip and Princess Peach on the side. This has to happen, right?

That's all I want this week. Pretty reasonable I think. See you tomorrow when I expose my junk!

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