Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 50)

This is the 50th time I've asked people to send me stuff. The 50th time I've suggested that the coolest of nerd gadgets, movie-related whatchacallits, and awesometastic apparel should be sent to me at no cost. I have thus far received one item from a non-family member or close friend. Perhaps this is because people understand I'm not actually begging for stuff but just showing them cool crap from the internets, but you'd think more people would fall for the gag by contacting me at film@thereader.com for my address, at which point I would get more free stuff. But no. Instead, I just keep going with the recommending and showing of awesomeness for the same lack of swag. I must really love you guys.

Here's what I want (but won't get) this week.

1.) Boldly slice - You have to love the beauty and simplicity of this one:


Thinkgeek finally puts the sperm-esque, ovular-obsessed design for the Enterprise to use in a way that Trekkies can really use. I won't even tell anyone if you yell out a good "KHAAAAAAN" while hacking through the Hawaiian pie. For only 24 bucks, you can slice your way through all the cheese and dough those Romulan bastards would take from you.

2.) I don't want this shirt, I NEED this shirt. Go here and get me this.

Seriously, if you don't desperately want that, like you can't stand not having it, you must not have had the same upbringing I did. The guy who drew that was so on point, so absolutely dialed in that I can't believe this isn't on the chests of everyone I know. It's so adorable I could scream. There, I just did.

3.) This is 5 dollars - I'm just saying that it's a Marvel mini-bust for 5 bucks. Is it flashy? No.
Is it Spider-man in his black costume? Yep. And it's 5 bucks here. Get one for yourself while you're at it because Spidey is the only guy to ever change his costume and have it be almost as cool as his original costume. Why? Because Spidey is the mother-lovin' king of all superheroes, yo. That's why.

Okay, that's it for the 50th edition of stuff you should buy me. I will look forward to you not buying me any of it and will hit you back tomorrow with my junk.

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