Friday, September 11, 2009

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

I'm not going to mess around with this introduction. I'm too tired, and y'all know the drill by now.

Here's the box office predictions, haiku style:

1.) Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself - $27 million

I am always wrong
when it comes to Perry's films.
So, just ignore this.

2.) Sorority Row - $12 million

The chick from "The Hills?"
The spawn of Moore and Willis?
What the hell is this?

3.) Nine - $9.5 million

Too scary for kids.
Too cartoony for adults.
It is a tweener.

4.) Whiteout - $9 million

Oh, Kate Beckinsale.
So pretty...such bad acting.
You're no Kate Winslet.

5.) Inglourious Basterds - $7.5 million

I have nothing left.
You only get 5 haikus.
After that, I suck.

WILDCARD - The Final Destination - $7 million

Not to be too gross,
But horror in 3D sells...
I think porn is next.

That's it gang. Have a great weekend. Watch some football. Go Huskers, Wolverines, and (most importantly) DA BEARS!!!

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