Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

I'm not going to mess around with this introduction. I'm too tired, and y'all know the drill by now.

Here's the box office predictions, haiku style:

1.) Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself - $27 million

I am always wrong
when it comes to Perry's films.
So, just ignore this.

2.) Sorority Row - $12 million

The chick from "The Hills?"
The spawn of Moore and Willis?
What the hell is this?

3.) Nine - $9.5 million

Too scary for kids.
Too cartoony for adults.
It is a tweener.

4.) Whiteout - $9 million

Oh, Kate Beckinsale.
So pretty...such bad acting.
You're no Kate Winslet.

5.) Inglourious Basterds - $7.5 million

I have nothing left.
You only get 5 haikus.
After that, I suck.

WILDCARD - The Final Destination - $7 million

Not to be too gross,
But horror in 3D sells...
I think porn is next.

That's it gang. Have a great weekend. Watch some football. Go Huskers, Wolverines, and (most importantly) DA BEARS!!!