Monday, September 14, 2009

Weekend Box Office Roundup: Tyler Perry is un-flippin-stoppable

Don't try to resist Tyler Perry, it will only hurt more. This week's box office was unremarkable and unsurprising, as most people were home watching the NFL. Like I did. Only to have my team rip out my heart and poop on it. Thanks, Chicago Bears for once more reminding me of the futility of hope and the impossibility that any of my dreams will come true. Happy Monday!

Here are the box office results, haiku style:

1.) Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself - $24 million (Accuracy of prediction - 93.75%)

Oh, Tyler Perry,
is there nothing you can't do?
Your touch is Midas.

2.) 9 - $11 million (Accuracy of prediction - 83%)

Not quite terrible,
but it wasn't great either.
Mediocrity!

3.) Inglourious Basterds - $6.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 71.5%)

The Weinsteins are glad
they don't have to sell their stuff.
They owe the nazis?

4.) All About Steve - $5.8 million (Accuracy of prediction - 0%)

Thanks a lot for this.
This total screwed my whole week.
Damn Sandra Bullock!

5.) The Final Destination -$5.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 82%)

Please, no more of this.
I have nothing funny left.
Just go. Please, just go.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 66%

What a sad result.
I expect this from Perry.
But not from Sandra.

Happy Monday y'all!

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