Broadway Musical Turned Movie Guaranteed to Make You Sterile

I don't have cold, hard evidence or "facts" on the following assertion, but neither does Fox News and they run a whole cable channel. I'm 99.99% sure that the movie based on the Broadway musical "Rock of Ages," will kill the "little swimmers" of any man that watches it and will shrivel the girlie parts of all women. I've never seen it (dear Lord, why take that risk), but I can say this because of the Variety story that revealed director Adam Shankman. Helloooooo, how do we know this project is dangerous? The man's last name is a description of how to kill a man in jail! Beyond that, the article described that the music in the musical includes the following: Journey, Twisted Sister, Joan Jett, Bon Jovi, and Pat Benatar. Maybe, just maybe you survive the Journey and the Joan Jett. After all, who wants to stop believin' and doesn't want to put another "dime" (I believe that was once American currency) in the jukebox, baby? But the one/two/three nut punch of Twisted Sister, Bon Jovi, and Pat Benatar? No way your sperm survives that. What happens is, and I believe this is scientific, the little future babies realize that they don't want to live in a world where that music is popular, so they commit molecular suicide. Again, I'm pretty sure I learned that in Biology 101. Oh, and then there's this:
I believe in the middle, that's a reject from American Idol. You'll also notice that you aren't quite sure the gender of those behind him. This is not an advertisement, it's a warning.