A few quick notes

It's Tuesday, so you know all I'm thinking about is the impending brain flambe that "Lost" is about to produce in a matter of hours. That said, a bevy of tiny tidbits broke last night, and I don't want to miss out. So...what am I waiting for? Let's do this thing!

1.) - Spider-man is finding things hard suddenly

Yep, that headline was just an excuse for me to post this. Hey, you'd do it too. Turns out that Alan Cumming is out as the Green Goblin in the Broadway version of Spider-man, which I'm convinced isn't going to ever happen. With the music of U2 and Julie Taymor directing, I thought for sure this thing would at least see the light of day, but it turns out that it is waaaaay too expensive, and delay after delay in funding means everybody is abandoning ship as though there was a Lohan driving. My hope has now gone from one day seeing Spidey live on stage in New York to praying that they at least release the U2 music as some kind of CD I can buy and listen to whilst I read Spidey comics. So long as there is some connection between U2 and Spider-man that I can physically see, hold, or listen to, I'm good.

2.) - Bond meets a trap he can't boff his way out of - MGM's bankruptcy hurts a lot of people, so it seems stupid to be complaining about this aspect. Nonetheless, my hide is chapped because Bond 23, the final part of the new trilogy, is on indefinite hold. Much like Spider-man's musical misadventures, funding for the project is tricky when your studio is so deep in the red that Glenn Beck is about to accuse it of socialism (get it, because Red was a slang term for communism, and Beck is a dipshit?). It's not like we're never going to see another 007 movie. We will. It's not like this delay will stretch out for a decade (at least, I hope not). Still, I want the new flick NOW, not later. Stupid money.

3.) Sam Jackson drops bombs of the non F variety - Sam Jackson told IESB that he's not in Thor, no matter what anyone tells you (leaving me to believe the tie-in will be Tony Stark and not Nick Fury in that one), and that shooting for The Avengers is set to begin in February. WOWZA! That's actually quite soon considering the director announcement hasn't officially been made yet, the cast is only quasi-established (we know the four principle actors in Chris Evans, Sam Jackson, Robert Downey Jr, and the guy playing Thor...yeah, I know he has a name, but I'm waiting to see if I need to learn it until after I see him in costume), and the script is under overhaul. It's an exciting time to be a Marvel fan...but it's also a bit nerve wracking. Although I have confidence in Iron Man 2...that's where my certainty ends. Everything else is a thrilling possibility but only a possibility. Stay tuned, true believers.

Broadway Musical Turned Movie Guaranteed to Make You Sterile

I don't have cold, hard evidence or "facts" on the following assertion, but neither does Fox News and they run a whole cable channel. I'm 99.99% sure that the movie based on the Broadway musical "Rock of Ages," will kill the "little swimmers" of any man that watches it and will shrivel the girlie parts of all women. I've never seen it (dear Lord, why take that risk), but I can say this because of the Variety story that revealed director Adam Shankman. Helloooooo, how do we know this project is dangerous? The man's last name is a description of how to kill a man in jail! Beyond that, the article described that the music in the musical includes the following: Journey, Twisted Sister, Joan Jett, Bon Jovi, and Pat Benatar. Maybe, just maybe you survive the Journey and the Joan Jett. After all, who wants to stop believin' and doesn't want to put another "dime" (I believe that was once American currency) in the jukebox, baby? But the one/two/three nut punch of Twisted Sister, Bon Jovi, and Pat Benatar? No way your sperm survives that. What happens is, and I believe this is scientific, the little future babies realize that they don't want to live in a world where that music is popular, so they commit molecular suicide. Again, I'm pretty sure I learned that in Biology 101. Oh, and then there's this:
I believe in the middle, that's a reject from American Idol. You'll also notice that you aren't quite sure the gender of those behind him. This is not an advertisement, it's a warning.