For my friend, Andrew, here's some hate fodder

Devin at Chud.com did a little straight-forward piece on some comments made by screenwriter/producer/Oscar-winner/son-of-a-bitch Akiva Goldsman in the LA Times. This was a harmless gesture by Devin, and led to the inevitable mention of Goldsman's involvement in Batman and Robin, a movie for which Goldsman should have rightly been killed. Devin calls attention to Goldsman's comments on the upcoming Lobo movie, directed by Guy Ritchie, and on Swamp Thing, both of which will unquestionably suck solely because Goldsman is a terrible writer, an awful producer, and likely feasts on the marrow of kitties and on puppy flesh. Don't believe me? Read this following excerpt and ask yourself how hard you'd like to punch the person saying this.

"There's something hyperbolic and authentic about a Guy Ritchie movie. His best movie are deeply, deeply stylized yet they are all grounded; there's a grit of stylization, which sounds like an oxymoron but it makes perfect sense when you've seen his films."

"A grit of stylization?" You're right, Akiva, that does sound like an oxymoron, if oxymoron means "what the f**k are you talking about?" He goes on to mention that they've got the character design of Lobo down, which is good, because I still don't know how you make this look less stupid in real life:

But rest assured, if anyone can do it, it's the guy who wrote Practical Magic. This is why we should be able to count certain movies as war crimes.