Breaking Dawn...apart

As you may or may not know, I'm not a Twilight connoisseur. So, why is it that I want to run out and see an adaptation of the final installment in the series, based on the fourth book, "Breaking Dawn?" Because I read a synopsis courtesy of one of my fave online bastards, Devin Faraci from Chud, and it is delicious, squishy insanity. Don't click this link if you want to stay unspoiled on the events of the book, but let me just say that if this is 25% faithful to the events that happen as described in that post, I'm seeing this in the theater and laughing until my face falls off. I really thought that the whole series was goofy, a bit irresponsible, and totally devoid of originality. I don't know that I can say that about the final book, which apparently reveals that this whole thing has been the set up for a joke that is going to make me piss myself. Seriously, if you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you think what happens is anything other than total batshit insanity, I will pay you one billion dollars (note, I will not actually pay you one billion dollars). This is all a roundabout way of introducing today's obligatory Twilight update...actually, one more side note first: How many days of coverage are the morning shows going to try to milk out? I mean, sweet Lord in heaven, the books were written in like 10 minutes and were based off of a dream by a weirdo who had written so much as an email before. Can't we give it the two weeks of fanfare it warrants and then let it slide like buffalo-ranch flavored jello? Anyhoodle, the big news is that Variety reports that they may break Breaking Dawn into two movies. That's fine, because I'll really only want to see that last one, and so it will likely save me a few hours. Seriously, people, if you don't know how this ends, you are in for a real surprise...and not a good surprise like "hey it's a party," a bad surprise like "this hair in the bottom of my milk glass is curly."