Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Sayid Kills Someone and other "Lost" Predictions

Last week's episode was a juggernaut (bitch), it busted me in the face and made me want someone to bring the amberlamps...and other internet meme references. So, I'm going to forgive Doc Jensen, my favorite "Lost" reviewer, a little slack for his first two pages of his column this week. Those two pages are dedicated to a theory that involves Huey Lewis and the News. Yep, feel free to skip to page 3 this week in Doc's column, where things get good (he has a great breakdown of Sawyer following Joseph Campbell's archetypal hero's journey...yeah, I'm a dork). By the way, I can't read about Huey Lewis and the News without thinking of the episode of "The Office" where Michael promotes Bruce Springsteen tickets by playing a Huey Lewis song. Funny, but not important to "Lost." So, let's move on before this digression gets even worse.

Back to the greatest pop culture event of this or any decade: The final season of the greatest TV show. I missed SOOOOO much last week because there was just SOOOO much to miss. So, let's take just a minute before we dive headlong into THIS week's sure-to-be-disappointing-because-it's-going-to-feature-Claire episode.

Things I missed

1.) Climbing down into the cave that Flocke SWEARS is Jacob's would make what Sawyer and Flocke were climbing down...JACOB'S LADDER. Now, I've been looking through some stuff about that biblical story that features Jacob and everyone is obsessing over the Esau part. Me, I think we're meant to find a different "Jacob story," one that I'm reminded of from a line in U2's "Bullet the Blue Sky." "Jacob wrestled the angel, and the angel was overcome." What if...what if this is the battle we're seeing? Jacob "overcoming the angel?" Oh, and the angel in that biblical story WAS NEVER SPECIFICALLY CALLED BY NAME. They only said his name is the same as the place where the battle took place, which Jacob called Peniel. I love this idea, that the Man in Black (old Flocke) is an "angel" of some kind. That his name is the same name as the island. God, that would be great.

2.) As often as they've made the point about things being equal, wouldn't this mean that Jacob can ALSO turn into a smoke monster? So simple...but so interesting.

3.) When the freaky kid showed up in the island and only Sawyer and Flocke could see him, who did he mean when he said "you can't kill him." Did he mean Sawyer or was Flocke going to use Sawyer to kill someone else?

This is just so great. If you say you didn't love the last episode, I worry for you. That's the best type of episode the show has to offer. Great character stuff in the flash-sideways and great mythology stuff on the island. The perfect episode. Which is why we're GOING to be disappointed tonight. In fact, let's kick off the predictions with that.

Predictions for "The Lighthouse"

1.) It's not going to be great
: As much as I would like to see the rare back-to-back awesome episode trick...it won't happen. This will be a bit of a letdown, but hopefully not by much. This is a Jack-centric episode, which means we may get more interesting things happening in the flash-sideways, since there's a good chance he remembers more than most (and what was with the cut on his neck...and what's with Christian's body missing...). So the good news is, I'm equally intrigued by BOTH sides of the episode tonight, the bad news is that we're going to get a lot of Claire. Ugh.

2.) Jack is going to make another plan that doesn't work: We've been stuck in the Uh-Oh Temple for awhile now, which means by "Lost" rules, we have to have the obligatory "let's escape by doing some dumb shit that Jack wants us to do that won't work and will likely leave someone gravely injured" episode. My guess is that he freaks out because they want to kill Sayid. Jack decides he doesn't want to, and can't, kill his friend, so he organizes a jailbreak. Hurley will try to argue against it, but Miles will listen...and likely will be the one gravely injured. In 6 years of watching, Jack's most successful plan thus far has been to swallow a pill that turned out to be poison so someone would tell him what it was. That doesn't bode well.

3.) Claire is still going to be uninteresting: I know it's cool to think of her "having the sickness," but I'm betting she'll just be doing a bad Rousseau impression...and I do mean bad. She thinks Aaron is still on the island, and Jin will tell her he's not. This will not register with her, and so she'll do some more whining and acting crazy. I do think we'll find out that she has been stuck on the island by herself for 3 years while everyone else was time hopping. I also think we're getting a Christian reference and not just in Jack's flash sideways. I'll go so far as to make that a bonus prediction: We will see Christian in island form and he WILL say important shit about Jacob. Wow, that's a bonus prediction.

4.) Widmore is coming: We know from the freighter's arrival that Widmore found the island once. It probably took him some time, but I think he found it again. I think he's on his way to the island and that he's the big nasty force that is threatening the island THIS time around. See, I believe in the whole cyclical nature of the island. In previous incarnations, it wasn't Widmore that was the bad guy but someone else. This time around, though, the thing that Jacob is supposed to protect the island from IS Widmore and he's coming. This will throw things off because if Flocke's recruits are fighting Jacob's people, nobody is protecting the island. I think this is setting us up for the end game, and Widmore's arrival marks the beginning of that final battle.

5.) Sayid kills someone: I think this will be the episode he goes full-blooded bad. He's gonna ice somebody, and I think it may be someone we care about. Somebody like a Miles. Maybe this will happen AS Jack is trying to help everyone "escape" from the temple. It seems like a way in which Jack's plan can go wrong. "I won't kill, Sayid. He's my friend." Jailbreak attempt. While they're escaping, Sayid whacks Miles. Cut to Jack going "DAMMIT! I should have stayed. I was wrong AGAIN!" It can happen.

I'm pumped after last week. I'm hopeful for a back-to-back extravaganza, but we'll have to see. Happy Losting folks!

Oh, and a bonus note for my friend in Chi-town, Heather. What if Hurleybird was Jacob? If Flocke can go smoke monster and become PEOPLE, what if Jacob can go smoke monster and become animals...like say horses and birds?

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