Talk to the Flocke: Reactions to The End of "Lost"

To every dear friend, family member, or kind stranger who truly didn't like the final journey of "Lost": I feel so bad for you.

I really do. Not in that way where I am looking down on someone like they're some kind of idiot for not thinking that something I love is cool. I get it. There are 100% perfectly acceptable reasons to dismiss it or not like it. You could hate that Dharma did, in fact, end up being just a plot device that wasn't all that meaningful. You could hate that they left a big ole boatload of questions unanswered (the most recent one: what exactly did setting off the bomb do then?). You could hate that there was some angle, some aspect of purgatory that made it's way into the final resolution of the show despite what you felt was an iron-clad promise made by the creators that such a thing would never happen. Those are completely justifiable, completely warranted gripes and complaints that you could levy after having spent 6 years trying to wrap this all up in your mind. I totally get it, it's fair. I don't think it's "wrong" that you feel that way. I just feel sorry for you.

Why? Well because last night I felt moved emotionally and spiritually in a way that I literally have never felt moved by any piece of popular culture. Because I felt closer to my wife and friends and closer to my religious beliefs. Because to me, in terms of the show's finale, what mattered in the end was really what I said mattered: they completed these characters. Even the little notes (the joke about Christian Shepherd's name, the fact that Hurley did become the island protector, the reunification of all couples) were so spot on. To me, this final episode was never about what absolutely had to be in there or not in there. It was about how I had to feel. And I felt that way...oh boy did I ever.

If the producers and creators of this masterpiece of a series failed in any regard, I believe firmly it was not a failure to commit to film the exact story they wanted to tell. Their failure was, at times, to be too ambitious and all-encompassing in their storytelling method. Their willingness to follow Dharma as long as they did to more-or-less pad the series accidentally led to something crazy: it was so beloved, so popular, that somehow a plot device took on a life of its own. The writers failed to firmly reign in little loose ends that they knew wouldn't matter in the end. That was a little mistake, as some people couldn't "move on" from them, if you will. I am willing to allow a few missteps to be made in crafting a piece of art 120 hours long. What I'm saying is this: there are going to be two kinds of people who watched all of "Lost." There's the "yeah, but what about Walt" group. And there's the group who will consider this the best, most moving, most thoughtful television show in history. If you're in the former group...hey, it's been a hell of a ride, right? Like Ben, you're going to be sitting outside the church, still working things out. I love you all the same. If you're in the latter group, come on inside. We've been waiting for you.

I'm going to break down this finale just like I do all the other episodes, then I'm going to allow a few days to pass before really tackling things again. Feel free to share thoughts and concerns, we don't have to stop that just because the show is over.

What I liked

I could really do this in an infinite number of parts, but let's do this a little different. The show had two parts, really. Let's look at them.

The Island

I loved how there was a literal cork keeping hell out. I just loved it. It was Eden or the point of creation or something of that nature. Removing the cork let the light escape and let the darkness in. If there's no light, neither of the island's protected protectors had any power. They were just human for a moment. Thus, the epic fight began...and ooooh did I love that epic fight. Maybe my favorite action sequence in "Lost" ever: Jack jump punching as they cut to commercial. I squealed on that one. That brutal battle. That look of confusion on the Man in Black's face as he couldn't figure out what had happened. Priceless. Then you get to the ultra-classic sequence that will resonate for years and years in my mind. Jack surrendering the island to Hurley, Hurley taking Ben as his number 2. Let's face facts, that was a love letter to the fans and nothing more. Two beloved characters: One finally getting the only thing he's ever wanted (Ben, who just wanted to matter) and the other finally realizing that his special ability to love others and spread kindness wasn't just a small trait, it was a huge. The island mattered. If you care about the mythology of the show, the actual events that transpired, they were brought to a conclusion. The threat to the island was extinguished when Jack killed the Man in Black. Widmore is dead, the island was purged of people who were trying to do it harm...heck, it was purged of its people period. It had a chance to start over. So Eden or "the source" or whatever you want to call it went through its greatest period of challenge to the "light" that it puts out into the universe, and Jack and his friends overcame it. Oh, bonus points for Kate putting the bullet into Flocke. She did matter, huh.

The Sideways

This is where it gets tricky. Mind you, I am still not wild about the sloppy storytelling (the whole Kate and Claire episode), but I will say this: I get why they did what they did with it. Yeah, it was purgatory. It was a holding area for people who loved each other to gather, waiting for each other to finally be able to move on from the shackles of a human existence to something bigger, something better. Just like The Matrix, even though these people tried to create for themselves a world where they had everything they wanted (Kate wasn't guilty of that crime, Sawyer never killed the wrong man and was on the right side of the law, Jack had a son who loved him, Desmond had the respect of Widmore, Charlie was a rock star, Claire still had her baby, Sayid saw that Nadia was still alive, Sun and Jin had each other, Hurley was lucky, Locke had his girl and so on for others I've forgotten), they couldn't make it feel "right." It's like Agent Smith said to Morpheus in The Matrix, when the robots tried to create a utopia for the humans, their minds couldn't process it. The sideways was flawed to them. It was a mutually created way to find each other, which is why they kept bumping into each other so much. Remembering that time is totally flexible there, meaning we could have had 5000 years of Hurley and Ben running the island (which I would watch, by the way), they had to wait until the last of them was ready to move on. Jack was the last of them. Of course he was. Even with his journey on the island, he was still a stubborn SOB. Of course he couldn't let go for the longest time. Oh, but when he did...when he reunited with his father (his REAL father) and walked out into that group of people who he loved and who loved him...I hope that's what it's like folks. I hope that when we move on from this mortal world that we're able to find one another. It was pure poetry for me. I cried then when I watched it, and I'm kind of crying now writing this.

Things I didn't like

• Chest hair sandwich - Seriously? Why even knock Lapidus on the head on the submarine if he's just going to show up looking ridiculous in time to fix the plane with the weirdest collection of survivors ever? Leave him in the background and for God's sake don't "kill him" only to bring him back.
• Ben's under a tree, no wait... - OH NOES?!?!?! BEN IS UNDER THE TREE!?!?!?! Oh, no wait, he seems to be better now. Oopsie daisy in the editing room boys.
• Claire lived - How did I never get a Claire death scene? How did I watch this show for 6 years and nobody dropped a tree on her? Seriously?
• Man in Black - I will never stop thinking that not knowing the Man in Black's name is the best metaphor for the few major mistakes on the show. Why create a mystery, INTENTIONALLY CREATE A MYSTERY, with (A) no intention of solving it or (B) no idea how to solve it? They should have just given him a name. That they didn't was lame.
• Sayid and Shannon - Look, Shannon is a cutie, right? But they spent 6 seasons telling us that all Sayid wanted was Nadia. Then he sees Shannon and his brain gets all borked. He's with SHANNON for all eternity? Eh. I would have had Nadia show up in the church still. I would have had Sayid's "wake-up moment" be seeing the people he saved on the sub, reminding him he died in a noble way. I would have had Boone and Shannon in the church together (not all creepy together, but because they did love each other) and that would have been that. Then again, as mean as they treated Sayid during this last season, maybe they just wanted to reward him by letting him make out with Maggie Grace again.
  

Answers

• The flash sideways is purgatory, but the island was real.
• The Man in Black is dead.
• What was in the cave was the absolute source, a literal cork.
• Desmond's plan was to awaken everybody and move on.

Reflections

• Mysteries abound - Look, as much as I'm defending this finale (and the show itself), I'm not saying I won't rush to the season 6 DVD and look at those 20 minutes of additional answers. I want to know things like what was the plan for Walt? What did the bomb do, really? I could go on, but I don't want to linger on that for now. I'm happy now.
• Battle lines - So far this morning I have received angry texts, drunken facebook posts, scores of upset tweets, and heard from others who were displeased. I also sat there with my wife saying "God, it was so great," got an incredibly moving email from my cousin, and talked to several friends who thought it was perfect. Welcome to your next few months (maybe years) of talking to people who watched this show. Unlike "Battlestar Galactica," which I briefly thought I liked until my friend Andrew pointed out how bad it was, I know that I will staunchly defend this finale and this show forever. I adored it. I felt so good about the ending that I couldn't imagine anything in its place. So, I welcome the challenge. Let's talk it up. If you are on the other side of the line, that's fine. We'll chat about it. It's the gift that keeps giving. Remember this: No truly great work of art is universally embraced. That's just now how it works. Great works of art are divisive.

I would say that I'm sad right now that this is my last official "Lost" post. I'm not. I feel good, whole somehow. This episode was my favorite in the show's history. How did they get that so right? They really did nail the landing. I give it an A+. For real. I mean it, I want this to continue. I want to keep talking about this whenever you want. I'll look for comments here today and I'll post something soon about deeper thoughts upon reflection. For now, just know that I still feel how I did when I started writing this. I feel sorry for people who didn't love it. I wish you felt like I do right now.

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Sayid (Can't) Kill Someone and Other "Lost" Predictions

Let's really roll around in this a little, shall we? If you're here reading this, you love "Lost" like Brick from Anchorman loves lamp...but our lamp goes out for good on Sunday night. Thus, let's start things off with some laughs.

First up is a hip-hop tribute I found rather clever.


"Now like Sun I need some gin" that's great. Continuing the funny, we have the sporadically hilarious Sarah Silverman's interview with the producers. There's some salty language, but you can handle it.

Sizzle Alert: LOST with Sarah Silverman! from Sarah Silverman

Best line in that one hands down: "I couldn't help but notice that you're both huge f**king nerds."

Okay, even raunchier STILL (seriously, there's lots of discussion of island ugly-bumping...you've been warned). Really, really NSFW. Also, totally hilarious. It's comedian Sarah Benincasa, who I adore, recapping "Lost" without ever watching it. She rips on the show a lot, but it's totally hilarious. Seriously, though, really offensive in its abject hilarity.



When she said "then there's the others...which are...um...black people. And everyone else is afraid of them"...I thought I was going pee. Now that's funny.

Last but not least, Michael Emerson pronouncing everyday words creepy.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

I will never again think of blue eyes in the same way.

Okay, so now you're laughing. Here comes the pain. By Monday, we'll never watch another new episode of "Lost" again. Deep breaths, it's going to be okay. Fine, it's going to be okay-ish. I don't want to spend too much time TODAY lamenting and wailing and gnashing teeth about the absence of the greatest scripted show in television history. That's for Monday's reaction column, which will be the first blog to ever taste like tears.

Today, I want to share with you two stories and then some predictions. The first story is a very personal one. Those of you who are Facebook friends with me have seen constant posts from James Syrek, "Cousin Jimmy," as I often call him to friends. When I lived in Illinois in the fifth and sixth grades, he and I were tight like Troy and Abed. Because life is stupid at times and for what can only be described as "for no good reason whatsoever," Jimmy and I fell out of touch. Then, at some point, we both simultaneously realized that we're super-nutso-bonkers for this show. We started sending emails every once and awhile...then started commenting during live episodes...then started sharing thoughts daily and generally freaking out together. Oh yeah, and we also started talking about other things. Before I knew it, a decade of pointless separation melted away. I've talked before about what "Lost" meant to me when the show started, coming at a really transitional point in my life. It also is the reason I have an old friend back. So, say it's just a TV show all you want to. You're right. It is. But it's also way more than that.

The second story is about my dad. Dad doesn't much get excited about a lot of television or movies, unless things explode. Then he'll watch it and say it was okay. Dad loves "Lost" and has from the first episode. He found out a few days ago that he had a meeting slated to run Sunday night from 7-9. Figuring that was life, he thought he'd DVR it and watch it Monday. Only...he's got to go out of town on Monday. Okay, fine, Tuesday. Well, Tuesday we're doing a get together for my birthday. Wednesday is another out of town trip. So Dad did what anyone would do. He moved his entire work schedule around so that he can race home on Sunday and be home just in time for the episode itself to begin at 8. This is a grown man with a job and meetings and such rearranging his life to get home in time for a TV show. I love it.

Okay, before we get started into the predictions for this, I have some people to thank for these. I'd like to call this "mad shout-out time." In no particular order (I mean that): To Cameron, thanks for all the constant commenting, theorizing, and idea sharing. To Andrew and Jess, thanks for the longest discussion I've ever had on "Lost" (even if it dovetailed to you being SOOOOO wrong about the dominant musical movement of the 90s) and for everything. To Jason and Heather, fellow participants in said longest discussion ever, thanks for ramping my excitement up and for your great attention to burning corpses. To the Hastings watch group, you made every tournament fun, and thanks for commenting! To Lynnette, serious thank you for the prediction I'll make in a minute regarding how to dispose of a smoke monster. To James, thanks for the awesome "sideways saves all" theory that will be discussed below and for, you know, all the countless conversations. To Abbie, thanks for enduring my obsession and actually joining in it (and for, you know, everything else in life). To every family member, friend, or ally I've forgotten, I love you guys and love how much we all love this show.

Okay, before I lose the will to type this. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you:

MY FINAL PREDICTIONS TO EVER BE TERRIBLY WRONG FOR "THE END."

1.) Kill it with fire - Talk about how things come together. My friend, Heather, was discussing waaaay back in January how she thought there was significance to bodies being burned. Lo and behold, Jake tells everybody very explicitly around the creepiest soylent green fire ever that once those flames die, he does too. Combine this with my friend Lynnette's reminder that the producers sure did hammer us over the head with Adam and Eve's skeletons again...and you get how I think they will try to kill Smokey. I think that Jack, downloaded with the power of the holy island spirit, has come to this conclusion. I think he'll send Kate, Hurley, and Sawyer to go dispose of said skeleton while he heads Smokey off before he can arrive at the light source. Of course, I don't think he's going to be successful in staving him off forever, but what we'll have is a "race to the finish" to see what happens first.

2.) Sharing is good - When the creepy mother person said that there's a little of that island "source light" in everybody, I think she may have given a clue as to what the finale may hold. Doc Jensen noticed this as well, and the theory holds that Jack will not be forced to remain the island's protector in perpetuity. Rather, he will decide that the best way to protect the light is to share it on a grander scale. I think he's going to find a way to share this with everyone. It sounds all fluffy and whatnot, but if done well it could be really powerful. There is a large, vocal contingency that feels Jack was given the throne a little early to have him keep it. I disagree, but this may be a way to give us a more happy ending. Of course, having typed that, I now disagree with myself. So, I'm calling bull on my own prediction having just made it.

3.) Desmond-splosion! - So help me God if they brought Des back just to have another purple flash in the sky... My theory is this: Jack loses his struggle with the Man in Black. Desmond gets involved to give the gang at the skeletons just enough time to get the burning over with. I want to see something really crazy and unexpected for the finale, something like Desmond fighting the Man in Black in various realities at the same time, unloading some crazy electromagnetic energy on him Return of the Jedi style, or at least going supernova (without the wimpy purple sky). I so badly want this build-up of Desmond's importance to be really paid off. Somehow, I have this feeling it's going to be like the "war" we never got. I sound angry, but I'm not. Honest. I'm just realistic.

4.) Crisis on infinite earths - Knock on wood but 2 days from the finale I remain spoiler free. The only thing I've let myself hear are brief things like the producers saying "the last 2 and a half hours will change the way you see the entire series." I like that. Especially because I think there's a neat trick they can do with it. What if what we've been seeing since the first episode hasn't been centered in one universe but MANY universes. What if the flashbacks weren't always in one reality, but many realities. We keep thinking that either the flash sideways OR the island time will survive...but what if they both are very much real. What if we've been floating around all sorts of realities? I personally like this a lot.

5.) Sideways to the rescue - I don't know how, but I agree with my cousin when he suggested that the sideways gang with Desmond as Hannibal from "The A-Team" is going to somehow save the island when the island fails in that reality. How, I don't know, but I'm guessing it has something to do with the underwater island. Where did the light go? Is it out in that world? Tough to say. I like that I'm in the dark on this one because I feel like there's a little life left in this march to the finish. I hope the sideways is a massive payoff that makes us all feel stupid for loathing it.

Okay. That's it. That's all of my predictions for the finale. I know they're meager, but I want to be surprised so I think I'm semi-shutting my brain off for now. I want to kick it into high gear once the show starts, but I really want to enjoy this experience. For those who didn't see, apparently the producers are going to include a little 20 minute segment on the DVD of the sixth season explaining a few loose ends they "didn't have time for." On the one hand, cool. On the other, "didn't have time for?" Weren't you douchebags the ones who set your own timeline? Uh, why didn't you just finish it in the regular season. Let me help you: cut out the second episode of this season and you have enough time to get to everything. Sorry.

Enough complaining! I'm going to seriously banish every complaint and criticism for now. When the show is over, some time after it's over, I will look back as critically as possible and pass grander judgment. For now, I'm going to kick back and enjoy a moment 6 years in the making. Share it with people you love and share it here.

Speak now or forever hold your piece, if you have a prediction...it's now or never.

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Talk to the Flocke: Reactions to the "Lost" Episode "What They Died For"

First off, did we really ever answer what they died for? Did I blink and miss it? I mean, I heard Jacob say "Come sit down and I'll tell you what they died for" right before they went to a commercial break that, I shit you not, was welcomed by a death scream by yours truly. That was like being woken up with an ice pick. So, I'm not even being sarcastic here, I need to know if I was so overwhelmed by the moment that I've been waiting for for at least 5 years (involving Jack...we'll get there) or so blown away by the fact that I was FULL-ON engaged with the flash sideways world for the first time that I totally blanked on "what they died for." You're going to need to remind me if I did. I must have suffered some kind of temporary amnesia that can only be rectified by reuniting me with a long-lost loved one as we may or may not be about to be electrocuted, provided there's a hairy-chested useless dude around to say something like "Looks like somebody remembered important happenings from last night's episode" while smirking.

In case you couldn't tell by my jaunty attitude and flippant remarks, last night's episode was a slam-dunk for me. It was hands down my favorite episode of the season, as for the first time from start to finish I really don't have a single complaint. I'm sure I'll think of one, because I'd hate to leave a whole column blank.

Before we dive in, two things: (1) They answered a key question that I'd been tossing around for awhile now with various people without really drawing our attention to it (YAY FOR RESTRAINT ON THE PART OF THE WRITERS). Remember how Jacob's "people" committed the purge? Well for a long time, I couldn't figure out how that would ever be warranted, how GENOCIDE could ever be supported by the "good guy." Well, we know now that the Dharma peeps were getting close to the island's heart light (thanks Neil Diamond) and had to be stopped. It's not the best way to do things, perhaps, but remember that they had specific places they were told they couldn't go. They past them and were killed, just like the nameless Mother protector of the island did to the people the Man in Black was with. Yay for answers! (2) A friend of mine sent me a link to a site that had nothing but clips of Claire yelling about her "BAHYBEE" and "CHARLEEE." You should go here and laugh a lot.

I'm still angry at Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse for their attitude and decisions recently (Evangeline, show them my rage).

But this episode represented all that is "Lost" to me in a nutshell. People will disagree and tell me I'm exaggerating, but I mean this. Because of the work that it did bringing me back in for the finale, because of the moment it had with Jack, because it was perhaps the best paced episode in the show's history, I'm going to say it: This episode makes my top 5 all time for the show. Ya-boo baby, I loved it. So, let's get into some specifics and let me see if I can convince you of its greatness.

Things I liked

• Jack the hero - Wow. I am man enough to tell you that I got seriously choked up during Jack's willingness to stand up and declare his commitment to the island. That last test, when he said "This is what I'm meant to do" and Jacob asked "Was that a question" and Jack shook his head no...wow. Without knowing it was a life sentence (really, a many-life sentence) to protect the island, Jack has come to know that he is meant for something great. For all the missteps that the show has taken at times, it has presented a meaningful character who has truly evolved as the show went on. Props to Matthew Fox and all the writers for really making a sincerely worthy flawed hero. I hope he gets an Emmy nomination for this one.
• Jacob the vanishing - Now, I don't know the ins and outs of how and why Jacob needed to burn the last of the ash to be fully dead. My theory about the kid is that it was, in fact, Jacob as a young kid. He was, in fact, being resurrected to take over again. At least, that's how I read it. I understood that the boy was Jacob aging back to Jacob age again, and that had he not burned his ashes and picked a successor, he would have been doomed to come back again and again. In fact, I think he gambled. I think had the fire burned out, he would have been gone with no protector on the island. He knew the time was right to go and that Jack would step up. Thing is, unlike the Man in Black, he didn't want to simply die or go home for the sake of being freed, we found out that Jacob has been looking for penance for his mistake. Using the cork metaphor, Jacob went from being the island protector to being the guy charged with keeping a monster he created there. For a long time, I think we thought of those two tasks as one and the same. They aren't. I think the island needed protecting, but Jacob MADE IT so that there was an evil on that island by what he did to his brother. Now they need to kill the bastard so that both brothers can rest. Here's hoping we don't get a ghost version of the two of them standing there playing a game like Anakin and Yoda playing Dejarik.
• Sideways the interesting - How was I suddenly captivated by the sideways? Oh, right, because I can watch Ben do anything...because it felt like things were happening...because DESMOND WAS THE MAN! Seriously, how could you not enjoy the exploits of Desmond the enlightened as he set things into motion. Plus, Ben got his face beat in again. Now that's a "Lost" theme I missed. I loved the way things finally came together, that Hurley was totally, 100% in-the-know now, and that Jack and Locke are going to have to go through this last part together. I love it. I will say that I'm pretty confused as to what Desmond's plan is. What does "let go" mean? It sure seems like he doesn't mean let go of the island timeline, as he's reminding them of it. Does that mean they have to let go of this sideways world? I'm fascinated now. This doesn't forgive them making these sideways stories boring as hell for months, but this is interesting at the right time.
• Ben the killer - Oh, I loved Ben's redemption. For the record, I think he's still on the side of the angels in this. Nobody said that him accepting his place and wanting to help people meant he had to forgive Charles Widmore for indirectly murdering his daughter. I loved that we got Widmore's intent revealed. He WAS out for the island for the wrong reasons. Then Jacob said he had to help and he believed him. I buy that. I also buy that Ben can still be a good guy doing good things but had to kill Widmore for all he had done. Redemption doesn't mean you're a saint. I love nasty Ben and it was nice to see him one more time. I will say that flash sideways Ben reminded me that I need to follow Michael Emerson in whatever his next project is. I could watch him in a romantic comedy, I swear to you. I could watch him do anything. Those moments with Danielle were just great. Also, weird prediction, I think he's going to be a problem when it comes time to "let go" because he so deeply loves what's happening in that alternate reality.
  
  I really could go on and on here. I could go on about how much I loved the frantic pace of the episode, how it spelled out exactly what it is they need to do from here on the island (they have to kill Smokey), how Sawyer apologized, how Kate grabbed Jack's hand while stitching her up and leaned her head on Sawyer's shoulder a scene later, how Jacob reminded everyone to stop bitching about their lives being mucked up since they were crap, how he explained Kate's name on the wall being crossed out (don't bitch, it was a great explanation). I could go on and on and on. This was in some ways The Empire Strikes Back episode of "Lost" to me. The show had to put the worst case scenario forward (only instead of being captured in carbonite, their friends were dead), it had to set up the stage for the final conflict, and it had to move briskly as the middle piece. It was damn near perfect.

Things I didn't like

• I thought Richard deserved better. Widmore didn't, but Richard did. They could have at least showed his body.

Answers

• Jack is the new island protector - To all of you who said Jack wouldn't be the choice: Nanny. Nanny. Boo. Boo. It may be obvious, but it was also earned. There are some out there saying he may not STAY the protector for long. You may be right. I just want it on record that he was "the one."
• The boy is Jacob - We DEFINITELY know that now.
• Widmore's intent - He was good, then he was bad, then he was good again. Now he's dead. Sadface.
• Desmond ain't killin - How he knew Locke wouldn't DIE when he ran him over, I'll never know. But we can now confirm he wasn't trying to kill Locke but help him "let go."
• Kate's name - She was a candidate! She was only crossed off because she was a mother.
• Chosen for a reason - Presumably everyone brought to the island was brought there as a potential replacement, but only one stuck. They were all chosen because their lives were flawed but they had great promise. I like this.

There may be more, but I don't remember. Help a brother out.

Reflections
Killing in the name of - Hey, you know what would have helped our heroes out...if Jacob mentioned how they could kill the MiB (oh, AND HIS FRIGGIN' NAME). I like that this is the plan, but I have no idea how it will be achieved. My gut says that all they can really do is try to send the MiB into the cave one more time, but I'm not sure that will work. Other than that, who knows yo.
Jack the mighty - "Now you're like me." Whoa. Are we going to see Jack zapping around in the past touching people? Are we going to see him with crazy powers on the island now? He can make people live forever...is he going to touch Kate? I know I would touch Kate. Yes, I meant that exactly how it sounded.
Sideways convergence - I could not be more excited to see where Desmond's plan leads. Also, I can't wait until we see him on the island again. Where is he? He's the "fail safe?" Will he explode then? I'm guessing that him being "immune to electromagnetism" means that when Smokey goes Smokey he can't hurt Desmond. I like this. I can't wait to see this play out.

Okay, so I give the episode an A. A straight-up awesome A. Now for some housekeeping. I'll be back on Friday to this subject, giving predictions for the end of "Lost." Then, on Monday, I'll be wrapping things up. We'll revisit this from time to time, it's not going to end here. Let's just all rejoice in the fact that this finale seems to be poised to deliver exactly what I wanted. I honestly can't remember a ton of questions I still want addressed, so they've hidden that well. I mean, other than the whole "why, God, why do you think it's cool to hide the Man in Black's name" question. Anyway. Get to discussin' folks, time is short!

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Sayid (can't) Kill Someone and Other "Lost" Predictions

Sigh.

This is the last week of "Lost."

The sigh is actually because of a rather sad fact...a fact that may be sadder to me than the show's disappearance from my life. Because of last week's episode...I think I'm okay with this being the last week of "Lost." I know, I know, I've had so much fun that I can't imagine wanting this to stop here. I've loved so much the community that has built up on this blog over the last year, and I'll miss so much of what surrounds this show. Promise me you'll still call and write...promise me you weren't just using me for my incredibly inaccurate predictions.

That said, after the soul-crushing disappointment of last week (particularly the flippant, asshole-ish response from an unnecessarily sensitive Damon Lindelof, who said "so we're sorry if you don't like the fact that you don't get the Man in Black's name, but you don't get it"), I'm more ready at this point than I thought I'd be. As I said last week, I unlocked the rubicon of why it is the producers/creators don't give us what we want. It's not just that they don't actually have it figured out that far, it's that they think they are satisfying us with their "questions that beg more questions" schtick. My favorite was the producers saying at a live get-together last week that the line from "the Mother" in last week's episode that specifically said "every question you ask will only lead to another" was directed for the audience. First off, let me say on behalf of everyone, "a-duh." WE GOT THAT REFERENCE. We're not a legion of 10-year-olds, something I'm beginning to suspect these guys believe. Second, you are not explaining the origin of man's purpose. You're not even 2001 or Citizen Kane here. You're a sci-fi/fantasy TV show that's known it was finishing for 3 years. That means that if you average 16 episodes a season at 44 minutes without commercials an episode, you've had a little more than 35 hours to complete your tale. Sorry, but I am officially calling squadoosh on your bullpuckey about time constraints, and on your load of crap regarding "every question leads to another" dookie. Here's the truth: You thought we'd love what you gave us and you don't want to risk giving us an actual answer to some of these things. Plus, you make mysteries out of things that don't have to be. If there's no significance to the MiB's name, why not just give it to us up front. It's not symbolic to hold it back. It's being a douche.

That said, here's a promise. This is the last week of "Lost" and I don't want to spend it being bitter. I will freely discuss reactions to individual events and moments in the episode, but I hereby renounce my anger and negativity towards the creators and writers. I'm letting it go. I've voiced my concerns, I am ready to move on. I want to...no, I HAVE to at the very least ENJOY these last few hours. I'm going to put my best foot forward and try to do that. Are you with me? To lighten the mood, I read about how George Lucas sent a letter to the creators that was read during the live event I mentioned above. The joke was that both Lucas and the "Lost" boys didn't know how their stories were going to end. His advice was "pretend you've planned the whole thing out in advance." That's funny.

Okay, before we go on, here are several more interesting and cool items of "Lost" merch for you to look at (and for one of you to buy...you know who you are).

These first two are from DamonCarltonAndAPolarBear.com. One's a poster and the other is...you'll see.


Finally, you can go to Teefury.com and buy their latest only-available-for-a-day-$9-"Lost"-shirt.

Now that's a nerd shirt.

Okay, tonight's episode has actually already screened for live audiences. I have, as always, refused to hear anything about it. The only thing I heard was a general statement from someone who was disappointed by the last episode who says this one is good. I hope so. God, I hope so.

Let's get into the last predictions I'll ever make for a regular episode of "Lost." Here are my thoughts on "What They Died For."

1.) Falling sideways - I think we get our first real answers about the sideways world this week. I'm guessing Desmond is back in that world and that he begins to reveal some of his motivation behind "waking them up" beyond "hey, isn't it cool we all were in that plane together?!" As I mentioned last week, I'm reversing my position from the original "the island world is the final destination" to "the sideways world is where everyone will end up." I was wrong. There's just no way that they're going to let everybody die like crazy and keep it that way. I'll have to see how it's handled before I pass judgment, because it does feel a bit like all the stuff we watched for the last 6 years don't "really" matter if everyone ends up okay in the other world. Still, I'm a sucker for a well done happy ending, especially when I invested 6 years in something.

2.) Jack makes a plan?!?! - I would really love nothing more than for the true transformation of Jack's character to be shown in the most hilarious way ever: He finally has a plan that works. By my count, Jack has crafted 1,217 plans that have ended poorly, ranging from minor oopsies to entire universe destroying bomb explosions. It would be great if he finally came up with a plan that worked, right? My guess: It starts with "We have to get Desmond from the well." This is actually correct. Using last week's abomination as a guide, if electromagnetism is just a scientific word for the "light" that the nameless-for-no-reason Mother and nameless-for-no-reason Man in Black talked about, then Desmond was bathed in something holy and powerful. He is, for lack of a better term, God-like now. Right? So, Jack's plan to hide behind Desmond will not only work, it will work INCREDIBLY well.

3.) Kid and play - I was surprised that more people weren't squawking about how the kid from the island who is magically aging was totally little Jacob. This means that there is some kind of regeneration going on. This is interesting because the kid should be much older by now. I think we see him again this week, and I think he taunts the MiB a little bit. Plus, I think Jacob is about ready to make another appearance to Hurley. As sad as our favorite chub was last week, I think he needs a little reassurance. I will say that I agree with my cousin, James, after last week. Jacob was kind of a douche all the way in the past until now. He may be more "right" than the other guy, but he's still kind of an ass pickle.

4.) Death comes for another - Again, this is not based on a spoiler but on a hunch. I have this terrible fear that I'm losing Evangeline Lilly from the island proper this week. Sure, she's already been shot once and lived, which is usually a sign she'll keep living for awhile, but there's only one episode left after tonight and I really think that she's going to be sacrificed somehow. If it's not her, it may well be Sawyer. I don't know what else that guy has to do now. We all know Jack is playing the final hero role, so what does the minor hero have left to do? This is also a good time to point out that they never finished the love triangle. I don't care, really, but they set it up for 5 years without really paying it off. Kate was kind of with Jack and still loves him mostly, but still kind of loves Sawyer, who still kind of loves her but mostly loves Juliet who is dead. It just sort of stopped, not came to a conclusion. Lame.

5.) Endgame, revealed! - God how I miss the obligatory Sayid spot. Okay, final prediction, I think that we find out what Widmore wants this week and it sets up our real endgame. It's going to be Jack versus MiB AND Widmore, who aren't working together at all but are both working against the good of the island. I think we're right in assuming that Ben told the truth about Widmore wanting the island for his own purpose. So both he and the MiB are working against what Jack's purpose is now. So he has to beat not one, but two assholes. Good luck, Jack. At least you have help. What do I mean? Richard and Ben have been MIA for awhile now...I think they come back to help tonight. Oh Lord, could Ben die tonight? Please...no...nooooooooo.

Okay gang, it's now or never...predict away! Let your voices be heard!

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Talk to the Flocke: Reactions to the "Lost" episode "Across the Sea"

Well, son of a bitch. That didn't quite go how I figured, now did it? Here's what last night's episode taught me, and I mean this without any semblance of sarcasm: Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse do not understand what an answer is.

To us, their loyal and often insanely frustrated viewers, an answer is the end point of a line of questioning. It's not, under any circumstances, providing something that instantly begs another question. For example, you do not answer "who set up the rules for the battle between Jacob and the Man in Black" with "Some crazy woman who isn't really their mom who was already on the island." We're going to have a few more questions there. "Why can't they hurt each other?" Oh "Because their mom made it so they couldn't." Really? Why? How can she do that? Who is she? I doubt in the remaining 2 hours we find that out. So congrats on "answering" things with more questions.
We should have seen this coming when we got the "answers" to the numbers. The "answer" was "They're the numbers assigned to the six remaining candidates." Oh, well then how the hell do they have magic powers? How does assigning those numbers make Hurley win the lottery? Is it coincidence? The reply from the creators/producers on this matter was, "we don't want to ruin the magic by explaining away everything." I see, said the blind man...

What I'm saying is this: They think episodes like "Across the Sea" ARE answering things. They think they're doing a good, satisfying job and that they're revealing things to us. They do not realize that most of us are pulling our hair out after some of these "answers." More frustrating still is when they decide they really want us to get something. That final sequence showing the "Adam and Eve" answer was perhaps the single most insulting thing the show has done. Not because I didn't like the answer. Actually, that was my favorite part. No, but because they were seemingly so afraid that we wouldn't remember or grasp that these two were Adam and Eve to the point that they constantly intercut the two scenes (the discovery by our 815 people and the burial by Jacob). What. The. Hell? I mean, if you wanted to show a brief clip, that would be fine by me. It would be almost poignant. But to do the back and forth as if someone is standing there going "get it? GET IT?!" Oy vey.

I wanted to like this episode so much. On some levels, I really did. But overall it just didn't do the very heavy lifting it had to do and fans are, I think, pretty mad. It sure wasn't the overwhelming move towards brilliance I had been praying for. Instead what we got was a strange, messy little episode. Oh, one more note, although how something ends is important, it's not the entire determinant of whether or not something is great. What I mean is, if I listen to a beautiful song but I hate the last note, it's still a great song. I fear that "Lost" is slowly hitting some wrong notes at the end here. That doesn't mean I won't have loved this ride.

Things I liked

• CJ, is that you? - Despite the fact that her very existence makes my brain hurt, I loved the performance of Allison Janney in this episode. Her crazy, brutal mom/goddess thing was really intriguing and represented a high-wire act as far as acting goes. If she goes too far, she's Mrs. Hawkings in her later episodes, all chewing scenery and acting stupid (oh, and by the way, did you notice her "it's not time yet" line mirrored Mrs. Hawking's note to Desmond...interesting). Instead, she was able to make the totally bizarre sound like it was coming from someone who totally accepted what she was saying. I believed it because it sounded like she did. Nice work, CJ from "The West Wing." I still love you.
• Smokey's transformation - Although I would have loved to see the smoke pour out and rain down fury upon the people the Man in Black had been forced to live with, instead of the weird assertion that his mother somehow killed all those people, I did like the scene of him floating down the stream into the light that made him dark. That was cool.
• The sympathy vote - I like that we are still able to feel for the Man in Black. The last few episodes have made us loathe him so much that we put to rest the "good guy/bad guy" theories pretty handily. I think this made a clear point: The person who was the Man in Black before he became Smokey was actually a pretty good guy whose mother was murdered and who felt betrayed. Perhaps the best writing in the show this season is that we're able to simultaneously pity and hate this character. That's a nice job.
• The light itself - I knew they would blend the "light" with the "electromagnetism." I totally called this. It was the only way to weave together the science and faith of the show. I actually like it. See, it's okay for me to have the answer of what makes the island so powerful and magic simply be the mom's response that "this is the source." I like that. It is Eden, even if it isn't called Eden and isn't Eden literally. I buy that whatever "light" or "force" that she says is strongly there and yet is present in all of us to a degree can't really be defined but that science chooses to see it as "electromagnetism." I'm okay with that as an answer. I don't need to know where the tunnel takes you or what happens inside there. I like the idea that we, as humans, couldn't even comprehend it. That was cool with me.

What I didn't like

• The pace - Again. These sons of bitches still haven't figured out how to make a compelling stretch of 44 minutes consistently. Sometimes they get it, but most often it moves in fits and starts. I think that they could have condensed all of the events in this entire episode to the first half hour. Really, I do. I think they then could have dropped in on Jacob and the Man in Black throughout the centuries for a lot of fun. Missed opportunity based on heavy handed writing. My gut tells me this is Carlton Cuse at work, because I've seen other things and read other things from Lindelof that had more movement. Bad, Carlton. Bad.
• What's in a name INDEED? - If it turns out that Jacob's brother's name is Fred, I'm going to stab someone. In an episode in which there are really only 3 characters, only one person's name gets used...and it gets used so frequently that it's maddening. Everyone wants to yell Jacob, but nobody says the other brother's name? Does he not have a name? Are you kidding me? It better be revelatory. It better be so important that when we hear it we are instantly floored. If this name happens to be some throwaway thing, then this is the most maddening decision they've made in awhile.
• The dialogue was, at times downright Lucas-ian - Dare I say it? Everyone spoke as though they were auditioning for a role in Star Wars Episode 7. Nobody spoke like they were people. I get that these characters have significance and whatnot, that they are not "normal people" per se, but come the frak on. This dialogue was so "on the nose" that each of them may as well have been wearing Groucho Marx glasses.
• The lack of payoff - This is the big one, right? We still don't get what the game is these two are playing, what the rules are, how other people are involved in the game, what the stakes are, exactly how long it's been going on for, who they really are, and so on and so on. We got little answers, yes...but this was supposed to be the one where the pinata broke and all the truth spilled out. So much for that, huh?

Answers

• The kid is Jacob - By virtue of using the same kid as an actor, we can now conclude that the boy appearing to Flocke on the island is Jacob.
• Jacob and the Man in Black are twin brothers - We don't know who their mom is or where they really came from, but we know they are brothers.
• Adam and Eve aren't married - They weren't lovers, they were quasi-mom and son. It was the Man in Black and his pseudo-mother.
• The light is the source of the island's power - The nature of this light remains a mystery, but that's the origin of the powers.
• Smokey became smokey by light - I get this, actually. See what I think happened is that the Man in Black went in as a person...and all of that person stuff was stripped away and killed. I think that all that's left now is his dark soul. His body died but because of whatever his wacky momma did, he can't "die." So now he's left as this monstrous, bodyless, angry soul that is all evil. All the light that was left in him is gone to stay in the light hole. I'm not saying it makes a ton of sense, but this is what I think happened.

Reflections

• The more things change... - We still don't know what the stakes of the game are, where these two came from, what their powers are, when they decided to gamble with human lives, what happens when and if Flocke gets off the island, why bodies have to be dead for Smokey to look like them, and so on and so on. The legacy of this episode will forever be missed opportunities.
• Weight-less - The worst part is this: As much as they made me care about the Man in Black here, despite not giving us his stupid name, I don't know squadoosh about Jacob. If he is the role that our hero, Jack, is going to step in to, I need to care more about him.
• Locke tight - Did anybody else forget that Locke was there when they found Adam and Eve. Interesting, no? I now totally believe that we're going to be left with Jack and Locke on that island. Whether its the Man in Black or not, I don't know.
• Where do we go now? - Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the next few hours will build on these revelations into something incredible. Maybe we WILL find out things that I've been asking throughout this post. It's possible. Did anyone else notice that the emphasis on wells and their connection to the light certainly may have a role with Desmond, who is all "electromagnetized" (another word for "the light") and was pushed in a well? Methinks that will be involved in the ending.
  

Look, I don't have a good grasp on what happened here or what's going to happen, and that sucks. Unquestionably sucks. I wanted to give this episode an A (maybe an A+). It gets a C. Why? Because what was good was very good and what was bad made me get stabby.

I want better. I want to believe that next week, which is "Lost" week, will include no less than 154 actual minutes (not counting commercials) of brilliant material that ties together the last 6 years. I am just running low on hope. This episode kind of knocked the wind out of me in a bad way. I still love this experience, I'm just not sure about where we're ending up. It's been that kind of week, I guess. My luck is nothing if not bad right now. So, here's hoping I'm wrong.

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Sayid (can't) Kill Someone and Other "Lost" Predictions

Sniffle. I had to adjust the title of this prediction column for the first time. Tonight, I for one will be pouring some of whatever beverage I'm sipping on the sidewalk for that Other-killing bad ass, that torturer-with-a-heart-of-gold, that bad-guy-turned-good-guy-turned-bad-guy-turned-good-guy. Sayid...you will be missed. Oh yeah, and Sun and Jin will get a little dribble too, even though they haven't been given anything to do since season 3. At least the column will only have a new title for a few weeks. We all do realize that there's only going to be one more prediction column after this? Okay, fine two. I'll do one on the 18th and one on the 21st (Friday). But that's only because I love you.

Before we get started talking about this episode, which gives me the piss jitters I'm so excited for it (I may or may not have had a dream about it last night, which I will tell you about in my predictions), let me show you this awesome shirt on Teefury.com.


That shirt will only be available TODAY from TeeFury and will run you less than $10. Go to there.

Okay, let's talk about tonight. "Across the Sea" may not be the sexiest title ever, but it may be the episode we've been waiting for (at least since the end of last season). We have good reason to believe that we're going to get some serious, hardcore answers to things like "who are Jacob and the Man in Black," "how did Smokey become, you know, Smokey," "what are 'the rules' that govern them," and "who's the kid?" That is, we will find such things out if they're smart. If they're smart, they will allow us to have the finale be about how these things play out with our characters. You don't really want to end on "answers," because as we've seen, those conversations are boring and apparently involve our beloved characters asking questions like "So you're saying that BLANK is really BLANK?" to which the person being asked the question replies "Yes, that is the answer to that question." That's not how to have a slam bang finale to the show. The key is to settle some of the debate AHEAD of time and allow the finale to breathe. That's my take anyway.

Speaking of my take, last week's writeup was a bit of a Rorschach test. I had several people say to me "I didn't like it either" and others say "Wow, you liked it more than I did" or "I loved it, too." I must have covered my bases pretty well, insofar as everyone seemed to read agreement out of what I was saying. I think my take home thought was this: As much as the run-over-here-no-wait-run-over-there shit was as tiresome as ever, I loved the emotional gut punch that culminated in Hurley bawling and Kate's "I couldn't find you." That said, I believe that the show now has it within itself to finish with a flourish. This episode, next episode (titled "What They Died For"), and the final episode ("The End") should organically compose a big sendoff.

But that begins tonight. This is the hardest predictions I've ever had to make for three reasons: (1) I don't get to automatically have a Sayid prediction, even though he's still "alive" in the sideways, (2) the gravity of this episode, with the Jacob/MiB revelations, makes it way difficult, and (3) I'm trying to enjoy these final hours as much as possible. This means trying to not be a grumpus about every tiny detail. That's hard, yo.

But if this were easy, everybody would do it instead of just the thousands of us who have blogs already. Okay, so it's not exactly plugging an off-shore drilling leak, but you get the idea. Without further ado, it's time to sack up and pump out some predictions for the episode I've been waiting for since I first heard about it months ago.

Predictions for "Across the Sea"

1.) The only angel on the island is Kate - Continuing my "great moments in Evangeline Lilly photos" series...
Point is, I don't think that we're going to find out that Jacob or the Man in Black are angels. I think that's still going to be something we can infer, but I don't think that's going to be the answer. I think what we're going to see is that there was once a bunch of people living on the island. Our black/white men were just some of them living there. I think the "electromagnetism" is going to take on some kind of spiritual bend, and I think it's going to be what causes them to be "stuck" on the island. I think they're going to experience "flashes" that show them their roles after exposure to said electromagnetism, which is also going to give them their powers. I think this will allow Desmond's electro-abilities to be what kills the MiB in the end. Why do I think this? Because unless the show wants to literally cast God as a character, they're going to have to rely on some hokey science/religion blend, and electromagnetism has long been the island's "magic sauce." I'm not saying we will like it, but I think this will be the answer.

2.) What's in a name? - One of my favorite "forgotten" questions is whether or not this island has a name. As much as I don't think that Jacob and the MiB are angels, I DO think that they will follow the story of "Jacob wrestling the angel" from the bible in one regard: I think that the MiB's name (much like the angel who was "overcome" in the old testament) will be the same name as the island, whatever that is. Kind of a weird prediction, but it's kind of a weird episode.

3.) As time goes by - I think we're going to get the whole span of these characters. At least, I hope so. I know that they're going to start us out in the far, far, far past. I hope that they show us throughout the years the evolution of this struggle. I hope that we see at least mention of or after-effects from other people who were "pulled to the island." The stakes are so high here. If this whole show has really been about the struggle between these two, then we're going to HAVE to have them as crystal clear characters in our minds for the series finale to work. Thus, I am praying with all my might that they take us on a magical mystery tour throughout the centuries these guys have been "alive." I hope that we build to some of the Dharma era stuff, when we can see what the involvement of some of these characters with other characters actually was. This is probably too much to do in one episode, but I'm hoping this is a nonstop answerfest. A boy can hope, right?

4.) What's at stake - If "Lost" is guilty of one thing above all others, it's overstating things. "A war is coming." "If you don't press the button, the whole world ends." And so on. I want to believe that the stakes are high here. We need to no longer deal with abstract threats of "war" and "destruction." I want them to spell out clearly and directly exactly what things will happen when this bastard gets off this island. What kind of world ruining are we talking about? Does everyone become super evil and start killing each other? Does the entire reality just blink out of existence? What kind of horrible things are we talking about. Of all things, this is one that the creators HAVE to get right if we're going to be totally in on the nature of the final episode. My prediction, officially, is that reality blinks out of existence, allowing for a quantum answer to things as well.

5.) Sayid...er, Smokey kills somebody - What I hope is the best moment of this episode is smokey's transformation. I want to see the first moment when he goes from man to monster...and I want it to be violent. My guess is that the island was once populated, smokey becomes smokey and then everybody but Jacob gets straight-up killed. I want to see a big, grand moment for this. Yes, we've known about "the monster" from the first episode. Now it's time to make that "monster" something epic. For the last season, he's been in the body of John Locke. It's so familiar to us, that it's hard to remember the scope of what's inside said body. Let it out, yo. Let us see that murderous transformation in all its glory.

Okay, enough. I'm so excited I could poop (again). I can't wait to see if this is the episode I think that it can be. I already have it penciled in the short list for my favorite ones ever. Let's hope that's not premature. If you want to be smart, send in YOUR predictions as comments here and look really smart when they come true (or don't). Just don't spoil anything you KNOW for sure, or you'll be stoned to death.

Talk to the Flocke: Reactions to the Lost episode "The Candidate"

I've got my work cut out for me this morning. Insta-reactions last night from two of my dearest "Lost" buddies were not incredibly kind. Then this morning, a third amigo (happy Cinco de Mayo to everybody who didn't pass that law in Arizona) came forth and declared himself to be a doubter of "The Candidate." Hell, even the producers clearly felt a bit nervous, as they climbed down from their normally very high perch to explain why they did certain things (read here if you wish). That's particularly shocking because (A) oftentimes the twitter feed of Damon Lindelof is used to say "suck it" to anybody doubting a particular episode and (B) the creators are big on the "we don't answer questions, we let the show speak for itself" mumbo jumbo (which is why they're going into "radio silence" after the finale). Add to all of this the fact that I hated, hated, hated, hated the first half hour of the show tonight, and I'm going to have my work cut out for me proving why this is, for me, one of the most definitive and ultimately awesome episodes of my favorite television show.

I'm going to do this by flipping my usual order: I'm going to give you what I DIDN'T like up front, so we can all agree on what sucked. But before we do that, another quick note about "cheese." There are two kinds of cheese (three if you count the kind you can, you know, actually eat). There's the kind that works, and the kind that doesn't. All that really separates the two is how it affects you. For example, everyone in the world agrees that Lapidus's "Looks like somebody got her voice back" is the cheesiest line not spoken by a mouse with its mouthful. Yet, when Charlie wrote that list for Claire saying goodbye, why wasn't that cheesy? Because it was effective. A lot of your reaction to the "death" of Sun and Jin is based on whether or not it "worked" for you. It did for me. Did I have problems with the set up, with the dialogue, with how long the scene went on? Yes. Did I almost get sniffly thinking about what I would do in that moment, when we saw their hands slowly separate? Yes. Yes I did.

This is all about individual reactions, and I can't tell you that you're wrong about your feelings. I can tell you that I found the second half of this episode to be about as good as the show has ever been. Had it been paired with a good first half, it'd make my top 5. Let's dig in to why. Buckle up, I'm going to try to make you love this.

Things I didn't like

• Sun and Jin must live in Arizona - Because suddenly the two abandoned their native tongue as if some law were passed requiring them to do so? Seriously, "Lost"...what the hell? No way these two speak in English to one another. It's not their native language. Plus, what they're saying throughout the whole episode is so personal, they WOULDN'T want anyone else to hear. Did your translator get laid off? Did you run out of "subtitle money?" What the hell were you thinking? They're drowning to death with one another and their last words are in a language they've only mutually spoken to each other for one day? Suck it. This was the dumbest thing in the show EVER.
• Submarine has a boo-boo - So....C4 detonated inside a submerged submarine gives the ship a HOLE IN THE SIDE? Really? After Flocke did the whole "there's enough C4 in there to blow us all to kingdom come" schtick, you really think that because Sayid kind of smothered it a bit that it would only blow a hole in the side? Seriously? Watch how easy this is for me to solve: Sayid says everything the exact same, opens a hatch, flies outside, water is pouring in the ship but somebody thinks to seal an emergency hatch, he explodes outside, which damages the sub. Better than hugging a bomb to only give the ship a boo boo I'd say. Dumb.
• The entire first half hour was lame - It wasn't good, right? We get a lot more "let's go here, let's go there," the cages made a return (the only thing more hated than Nikki and Paolo), and we got to the plane only to immediately leave it and go to the sub. Seriously, it was wretched.
• The flash sideways still suck - They never worked. Let's just admit it. Even if they reveal what I think they're going to (namely that I've been waaaay wrong and that the flash sideways IS going to be the consolation prize for everyone who dies...we'll get to that in the Reflections section), they have been boring all season long. You can't basically be annoying for let's say 6 combined hours of screen time and then think that one revelation makes up for all that boredom. I thought we were headed for something lately, with everyone coming together, and then...nothing. Ooooh, Jack and everyone keeps mentioning 815. WE KNOW. Desmond is M.I.A. and nobody seemed to be "awakened." Why did Des run over Locke? Who knows? Maybe we never will. Hate em. The writers/producers defend them to their death, but they were a bad move in an attempt to be clever ("Hey, we did flashbacks and flashforwards, let's do flashsideways!"). Even if it is some quantum other reality, they could have shown us that in one later episode and made it work. This was a waste of screen time.

Things I liked

See, so far I agree with you on all the flaws, right? We are on the same page! So why does this episode almost get an "A" grade? Five reasons:

1. Death-splosion - In a season where we all figured bodies would be hitting the floor like the lyrics of a shitty rock song, they haven't. Until now. Whammo! The wisest decision was opting against slowly parceling out deaths throughout the season. That would have felt like a lame farewell tour. Instead, they made the deaths hurt by doing it all at once. When Hurley started blubbering on the beach...tell me that wasn't emotional. When Kate came running up to Jack and just declared so very genuinely "I couldn't find you"...God that was incredible! It felt HUGE and REAL and IMPORTANT even though we all know that nobody's "dead" so long as we're seeing them in the sideways. It was the perfect way to "use" the deaths we all knew had to come at some point. Admit it, even though you can say some of it was "cheesy," the speed with which it all unfolded made it feel intense. That was cool and emotionally hard hitting. Plus, how great was it when you realized that bomb was GOING to go off!
   
2. Jack-tastic - The biggest point of contention with me and everyone else has been Jack's "letting faith take the wheel" journey. I hear all the time that "we've seen him let faith guide him before." No. We haven't. Every other time, be it when he returned to the island, when he was back in the past, or when he was angry at the Black Rock with Richard, it was different. Why? Well, he went back to the island out of guilt, not faith. He didn't "trust" that things would work out with the whole bomb, he hatched another goofy-ass Jack plan to "save everybody" (it was actually the ultimate in not letting faith guide him). At the Black Rock, he was pissed and was unsure what would happen. He didn't believe that it would spare him, he believed that he may finally be released. What happened last night was that he was so sure of what his role is, what his journey has been, that he solved it! Jack was, wait for it...RIGHT last night. Someone else's plan went to shit, not Jack's. Had Sawyer listened, they'd be fine. Oh, and let's talk about that great Jack/Sawyer moment! I mean, how incredible was it that all of the emotion of losing Juliet finally came back in that one moment. Sawyer just couldn't trust Jack again. It was perfectly set up.
3. "Because it's going to be you, Jack." - During Sayid's farewell speech, he revealed Desmond to be alive. Thank GOD. No, not that he's alive, we knew that. Thank God that the producers knew that we knew that. I was going to hate waiting on that stupid piece of info. Plus, it was great how he concluded the truth: If the MiB wants Desmond dead, we need him. But the best was his line to Jack. Yes, we all "knew" that Jack was the replacement for Jacob, but to hear it said like that was like hearing one of those great "Lost" lines. I put this up there with "Ethan was not on the manifest" and "We're going to have to take the boy." I loved it. I also liked Sayid's death. Why? Well because it seemed unfair to have him die as some kind of villain after all he's done on the show. He deserved something like this, a way to redeem himself kind of but not all the way. Plus, I'm totally counting that as "Sayid killing someone." Although, I don't know what to name my column next week. Sad.
4. Villainy REVEALED - No more lies. No more deceiving. Even though in the episode "Ab Aeterno" they revealed the MiB to be evil, evil, evil; even though he told Jacob that he would kill any candidate Jacob came up with; even though we all knew better, there were times when we would be confused as to what the intentions of the MiB were. We know now. Definitively. He wants to kill everybody. Also, Widmore is a good guy. He was trying to protect the candidates. He did a piss poor job, but he was trying. What we know now is the final battle: Our heroes versus the MiB with Widmore's help and Desmond as the weapon. Let's do this.
5. It's always darkest before the dawn - What's the best Star Wars movie? Empire Strikes Back. Why? Because the good guys lose. Same with the end of last night's episode. Instead of feeling like we're about to have some triumph, the show knocked us down with a big set of losses. We're reeling, not surging ahead. That's a great set up for the finale. By the way THE FINALE IS EXPANDING BY A HALF HOUR!!! Yeah, that's right. We're getting an extra 30 minutes. The show is now 2 and a half hours. That's awesome. Much like the second half of tonight's episode.

Answers

Obviously, not many mythological answers.

• The Man in Black CAN survive being submerged in water, which was a popular theory...but he sure didn't seem to like it. It took him awhile to get out and he didn't go all smokey on people shooting at him...come to think of it, why even kill those guys? They can't hurt him. He was just pissed about being wet?
• They can't get off the island in the submarine. That's about it.

Reflections

• Everybody but Jack - I keep revising my "sacrificial" predictions a little. Here's my final Jack thought. He's going to be the only one who survives. In sort of a double-sacrifice, Jack is going to realize that he can send everyone into the sideways world...but that he has to stay. My guess is, he has to die in the sideways world.
• Flocke's frustration - He's going to have to try to get them to kill each other...but how now? How can he get them to do that? Jack has it figured out, so he won't participate. Sawyer's unconscious! Not sure how that will work...
• Sideways movement - So there's no doubt in my mind now that I did have it wrong. The show isn't going to give us some grim world where everyone we've ever cared about is really dead and gone. Thus, the sideways IS going to be some kind of escape hatch. In a sense, this completes the whole "quasi-purgatory" angle we've all talked about for so long (and hated...hated a lot). It still doesn't make me like the sideways. Plus, I have this feeling like we may not get an exact answer. I have this feeling like we're going to be lead to believe that this is the case, but not specifically told. That would be even more irritating.
  

Okay, enough already. I give the first half of the episode a C- and the first half an A, so that means I'll round up and give the whole thing a solid B. I wish it were more consistent, but it wasn't. For all those who disagree with me, I refer you to the beautiful Miss Lilly:

I kid. Next week is the uber big one guys. If you don't know because you're that spoiler-free (even though the previews for next week's episode sort of showed you what's up), I won't say anything about it until next week's predictions. Let's just say that it's going to be a mythological revelation like we haven't had on the show to this point.

One last plea: Dislike the episode all you want, really. Just enjoy this ride. You've invested 120 hours in this endeavor, let yourself have some fun. Don't sit there with your fists clenched because you know how much they have left to do: Relax. Sit back. Let it wash over you. There will be time for discussion and displeasure later.

I'm counting down the next 7 days....what say you all?

Sayid Kills Someone and Other Predictions for "Lost"

I have to share this bit of hilarity before we begin. If you're on twitter, follow my friend Andrew (@amerczak). He's hilarious. With the blog down a day before the usual "Lost" posts, Andrew sent me the following tweets: "Can't wait for Sayid Kills Someone... in 120 character segments." That made me laugh. Then he sent this "Next year, Desperate Housewives coverage via telegraph .stop. #GerryCantBreakOldLadyCode." I thought I was going to pee myself. Just a moment of levity before we begin the usual proceedings.

So....speaking of Twitter, it was just yesterday that Damon Lindelof sent a rather chilling tweet of his own. @DamonLindelof - "We're done. Amen." The editing is finished. The final episode is locked. In reality..."Lost" ended yesterday. How crazy is that? Between these tweets, the week off last week, and the fact that we're now a mere 3 weeks away from the end of the best television show I've ever watched...the stakes for the episode tonight are pretty damn high, I'd say.

So what does tonight have to do? It would help greatly if the sideways came into full focus, not some half-assed focus that only finally gets explained in the finale. I'd prefer them to have that final two-hour block to deal with repercussions and not revelations. I'd prefer them to have that sideways business really explained so that we can do more than understand what it is and really care about how it works and what happens next. It would help if conflict really erupted...if a character was killed (I won't say who).


But chances are these things won't happen. So what I wish would happen realistically is that we begin to see that this thing had some kind of real, natural arc to it. I want to feel like this is organically building to the end. They wanted this deadline, remember, so they can't bitch about not having enough time (a point we don't hammer home enough). My inboxes are full of emails from friends and readers pointing out all of the dropped storylines and remaining questions. I'm willing to overlook them so long as these next few episodes are satisfying. Specifically, I have my eye on this one: "The Candidate." I know what the next episode focuses on, and I'll only reveal that next week in my predictions (I don't know what happens just what the focus is on). But THIS week's episode should focus on "he of alternating hairy and hairless chest," one Mr. Jack Shepard. We saw him begin what I think was clearly the final arc of his hero's journey last episode. This one, though...this one needs to see him fully beginning to ascend. It's called "The Candidate," so it sounds like there should be some answers afoot, but I doubt it. In their absence, I need to see Jack set up as the focal point for the whole series. We opened on his eye, let's find out why. That sounded like a Johnny Cochrane quote.

Okay, here are my top 5 predictions (sure to be wrong) for the episode "The Candidate":

1.) I was wrong, it isn't Kate - I will let the always-beautiful even without makeup and fancy-schmancy outfits express what should be expressed to me for my belief that Jack was going to have to sacrifice Kate in order to fully ascend to his throne of hero (and likely to Jacob's post).
It's not Kate. It's Daniel, Jack's flash sideways son. Jack does need to prove that he's learned that he can't save or protect everyone, but it isn't Kate that's going to pay the price for that final test. It's Jack's sideways son. I think that the sideways is proving to be a physical example of the MiB's temptations/promises. It works as a test that Jacob allows as well. See, these heroes, these "champions," are going to all have to more or less prove that they must do "what's right." That pocket universe shouldn't exist. They all know it. So even though most of them have some aspect over in that world they'd prefer to hold on to, they know it's false. Thus, Jack most of all will have to prove that he's no longer the "I CAN FIX YOU" sucker, but the triumphant hero willing to make a sacrifice. Congrats, Ms. Lilly! I don't think you die.

2.) Desmond's ALIVE! We just won't know that for two more episodes - In what can only be the dumbest move ever (next to allowing Lapidus to say "Looks like someone got her voice back"), the decision to have that whole Sayid/Desmond scene play out over multiple episodes proves that there's someone in that writer's room/creative team with shit for brains. (A) We don't believe Desmond is dead. (B) If he is, we hate you for doing it like that. Either way, it was stupid. Stupider still: There's no way we see the island Desmond this week. Given that I know stuff about next week, likely we don't see him then either. It's probable we only see him at the finale. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

3.) Like this blog, Jacob is finally back - We haven't seen much of our potential Lord and savior lately, unless you count the young kid aging rapidly on the island (which I do). We've been getting A LOT of Flocke talk. I think it's time we heard a bit from the other side, don't you? I'm thinking we get a Jack/Jacob scene finally. Not THE Jack/Jacob scene, as in not the one where he tells him he has to take over...but maybe? It would make sense if there was a moment between the two when he revealed what he has to do in this final hour. I know I'm not writing the show, but I would put that here instead of jamming it into that final two hours. Even if it isn't with Jack, I really think we need to see Jacob, if only to balance things out. If we're supposed to care about the white vs black battle, we need to see the white side a bit.

4.) Ben-splosion! - We've sidelined Ben and Richard for an episode, which usually means they get to come back. My guess is, we're going to see them return in explosive fashion tonight. We know that the gang who is escaping got kidnapped by Widmore's folks...well who better to rescue them than a pissed off Richard and a suddenly helpful Ben? That's my best guess at something likely to happen: They all get sprung by the characters who opted to leave. Fortuitous turn of events, eh?

5.) Sayid Kills Someone - I feel like I should be putting a trademark symbol on that. I think we're going to see the battle for the soul of Sayid keep playing out. He lied to Flocke, right? I mean, NOBODY says "you can go check"when asked if they did something without lying. It was a bluff. This doesn't mean he's all huggy and cuddly now, but it shows he's conflicted. My guess is that tonight's murder by Sayid is going to be something that helps Jack or one of our Losties. Something that shows he's potentially leaning toward the light again.

Okay, that's it. I'm sooooo stoked for tonight guys. Last week's episode was one that shrank over time in our minds. It got worse and worse as the days passed. I'm hoping this is just setting us up for a big bag of awesome this week. What say you all?

Talk to the Flocke: Reactions to the season thus far

Before we start, howsabout a little fun? First up, you should go HERE to see some incredibly awesome images posted by an incredibly cool guy who is making a poster for each episode. How cool is that? Here are some of my favorites:



How do you not want to own all of these? I don't even know how to get them as posters, the guy is just doing this online, but if he sold them, I would buy them. They're incredible and there are tons more at that site. You should check them out.

Next up is a cool shot from Wired Magazine.
Yep, that's a picture of Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof in front of the "big board" that they use to write stuff about "Lost." The show is done. It's been shot and is now being edited. There's no more writing to do, which is crazy. There's a ton of stuff to pick apart in the image above (big view HERE), which I find to be tons of fun because they aren't "spoilers" so much as "clues." If you don't want to play, that's fine, skip on down to the next paragraph. No harm, no foul. If you want to play a bit (and again, nobody should post anything on this site or any other that they KNOW to be a spoiler), then let's peek at the image above. If you look to the far left you'll see the episode titles and the "focus" of the episode for each episode up to number 615. What's interesting is three-fold: (1) As you can see, episode 612 was "Everybody Loves Hugo" and beneath that title is the word "Hurley," indicating he was the center. What then is the word beneath last week's episode? It's blurred by a glare (on purpose), but the word ends with "...oundelay." My guess? The word was "foundelay," meaning "Found L.A.," which is what they likely call the flash sideways. (2) The focus next week for "The Candidate" is, as everyone knew, "Jack/Locke." I find this interesting because it doesn't say "Jack/Flocke" or "Jack/Man in Black." Does this mean that internally they still call Flocke Locke? Or does this mean that we'll be focusing more on the sideways Jack and the sideways Locke? Or does this mean that there's still some Locke in Flocke? See, this is fun, right? (3) Most interesting of all, for episode 615 ("Across the Sea"), we see the majority of the "focus" is obscured. All we get is the letters "fy" or "ey." My guess? That's the name of the Man in Black. Whatever it may be. Feel free to start guessing. This image can be unpacked for hours upon hours. Go to it if you so wish. Just share your thoughts when you're done.

Okay, welcome back to you spoiler-phobes (even though we did nothing spoilery!). I'm going to do two things this week: First, I'm going to talk about my feelings about the final season so far; Second, I'm going to give you a possible "theory" of how I think things will play out. Let's get to it.

My love/hate with season six

When I'm watching the episodes, actually watching them, I have loved this season more than any other. Then, the next day, I write about the episode. I'm still loving it at this point. I discuss each and every theory and minor point, I have great conversations (real and online) that make me excited, and I generally smile a lot. Then I spend a day or two thinking about it in my head, putting it in context with all the other episodes this season. Suddenly...I like it less. Why did we spend so much time on the temple just to totally discard it? It was kind of like the Dharma cages, wasn't it? Why did they spend so much time on Dogen if we just toss him to his death? Why are we spending so much time on the flash sideways? Especially aspects that don't matter? Are the cameos from former cast members of minor note just a wink-and-a-nod? Because I don't care if we see Charlotte ever again. Why can't they answer every question that they created if they have enough time to show Jack driving around like crazy in his flash sideways? Why make Kate such an important player for 5 seasons and then dismiss her? How can the smoke monster be Christian if he appeared off-island? And so on and so on.

Here's what it boils down to: When the season started, I was on the creators side (still am). They basically were like "Hey, we can't wrap every little Hurleybird up, so you're going to have to use your imagination on some stuff." That was cool with me. I didn't need Libby's backstory, but I did need a lot of the big stuff answered. Then it became obvious that a lot of the big stuff was going to be just brushed aside. I personally like the answer for what the numbers were (the candidates), but it would have been nice to see a little more about it. I could have stood to hear a little more about what made Walt special and stuff like that. But here's the big one, and it's the heartbreaker for almost every "Lost" fan I know. Dharma...was filler. Yeah, it was. It wasn't the key to unlocking things. It was a plot device that became a side-story to fill 6 seasons instead of two. Looking at it objectively, this is a 2-season show plot-wise. The concept was to have these characters act as pawns in a game of chess between Jacob and the Man in Black (just look at the pilot knowing what we know now). Dharma was the best backstory/filler material I've ever seen, but it is now painfully apparent that it was just that: The means to an end. We're not going to see the DeGroots. We're not going to meet Alvar Hanso. We're not going to hear about how and why the Dharma initiative was created. Jacob's not going to have a hand in it. Nothing. We're going to hear nothing more about Dharma. I am so sorry, but we're not. (This is not from a spoiler perspective, remember, just my opinion).

On the one hand, I'm okay with that. This is now well within the range of what the creators were thinking when they started the show. They're telling their story now, and I like that story. I just don't like that story as much as the community story that we began telling a few years ago. See, at a certain point, "Lost" got hijacked by the fans. It got turned into a phenomenon with millions of smart, smart people speculating about what could and should happen. If you think about it: No matter how smart the creators and writers of the show are, they're nowhere near as capable as, say, a writer's room of the entire world. What I mean is, of course having 2-5 million smart people coming up with ideas would yield cooler stuff than 20-30 smart people doing the same. We were bound to be slightly disappointed.

On the other hand, I do wish they would have listened just a bit more. If they had heard a little more of the Dharma love, I think they could have had one episode to really put a big bow on that for the fans. Who knows, maybe I'm vastly wrong and one of these episodes will do that. I doubt it, though, knowing where we've been heading this whole time. Anyway, this is my overall problem with the final season: I love it and I hate it. I love so much of it (especially while I'm watching it) and I hate the regrets it makes me feel at times. Don't get me wrong, I'm judging this entire experience by the 6 years I've spent with it and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But it's fair to have these feelings. People we love can piss us off, right? Why can't TV shows we love?

My final predictions for what is going to happen

I'm going to change my mind 100 times on this theory, just FYI. But it's an off week so I figured, why not. Oh, and each week I'll be making predictions. Some of them will definitely contradict what you read below. It's my blog and I'll do what I want to, even if it makes me a liar. I love you all.

Oh, and before I forget, many people reading this will likely be receiving an invitation to our "Lost" party. We have some great costume ideas already, so it should be rad. But if you're looking for something to do on that night, there's a good chance you're getting an invite.

Okay, here goes:

1.) Desmond finishes "waking up" the 815 crew. They discuss what it means that they all remember, and they decide collectively that even though they all have things they like in this sideways world, it isn't real. Being that it isn't real, they can't accept it. They have to "go back" again.

2.) They seek someone in the know, possibly a reawakened Faraday or, more than likely, Desmond is the gateway. He seeks out Eloise and they come up with a way to return, even though she doesn't want them to.

3.) Everyone, including Locke, is shunted back to the island. This is actually what was meant by "they're coming." What we see is that each of them is a stronger person now, they are completed by the knowledge of what life would be like if "things had been different." Locke kicks the MiB out of his body, making him vulnerable.

4.) We see rapidly-aging boy Jacob again. He has a heart-to-heart with Jack. Jack decides to take over for him. This puts him in direct conflict with the Man in Black, who is now out and out trying to kill him.

5.) Widmore gets involved, trying to use Desmond to kill the Man in Black. Basically, he needs Desmond to set off some kind of charge by luring the Man in Black in his smokey form into some place that he can be destroyed with a dispersion of electromagnetic energy. Desmond does this, but at some peril to himself. Widmore saves Desmond, but dies himself in doing so, giving Desmond his approval before he dies. The Man in Black is weakened, but not yet dead. Sayid delivers the killing blow, dying himself in doing so.

6.) Jacob meets with Jack again, this time Jacob is fully Jacob. Jack is given one last test, one that involves Kate. Jack has to let Kate die. He does so and fully claims the mantle of Jacob. Jacob is released and thankful. Before he goes, he pardons the souls that were stuck on the island, and sends their spirits into the flash sideways world.

7.) Although most survivors leave, Locke decides to stay. Ben does too. Both have nowhere else to go. We leave with the idea that Jack is going to protect the island, just in case the MiB ever comes back.

Sidenote - We find out that Jacob and the Man in Black were just people who were mysteriously brought to the island themselves. I don't think we see the heavens open and I don't think we ever find out what all the "rules" stuff was about. I think it's all left wide open.

That's my best guess based on what I've seen. Not particularly perfect but somewhat inevitable (at least parts). I hope it's more complicated and cool than that, but no matter what, it's been one hell of a ride, right?

Thoughts, angry responses, passionate contradictions?