Sayid Kills Someone and Other "Lost" Predictions

This week is incredibly important for our favorite show. I just assume it's your favorite show, too, or what reason would you possibly have to be reading this gibberish. We've seen the characters "move into position." We've been given the "flavor" of the "flash sideways." We've been told time and time and time again that "a war" is coming, that "someone" is coming to the island, and that "the sickness" is "going to take over" people like Sayid. It needs to happen now. We don't need an episode where someone walks to get to a location or a flash sideways where someone is driving to get to a location. It's time for something to happen. It doesn't have to be answer after answer, it just has to be exciting and immediate. That last word is the most important. Immediate. I know that the episode gets its title from Flocke's threat that will be issued to the temple residents that they have until sundown to flee or surrender or something. That's fine. Unless the episode ENDS with sundown finally hitting. It's time to just uncork, to deliver the dramatic conflict we've waited for. Will it happen?! Probably not.

But here is what I think will happen.

Predictions for "Sundown"

1.) No Jacob - I think we're going to get into a pattern where any episode that prominently features the Man in Black (Flocke) does NOT feature Jacob. It's this painful waiting game where we won't see the two of them together until the climactic final sequences of the season. Since we KNOW things are going to get Flocke-y this week, I say no Jakey. Oh, a word of caution for all of you out there. I know that many people, like myself, enjoy seeing what others have to say but DO NOT like having things spoiled for them. The producers can keep as tight a lid as they'd like, but once the last episode is filmed...actually filmed...every sound editor, gaffer, prop holder, and so on and so on has access to information you have waited 6 years to get. When the last book of "Harry Potter" came out, there were stories of assholes writing the ending on subways in graffiti and shit. Be careful. Don't go to forums that you can't trust implicitly. Don't do searches for things regarding "Lost." If you want to enjoy this right, put YOURSELF in a cone of silence...pretty much starting now. You're safe here, but that's all I can promise.

2.) Christian returneth! - I know this is a repeat prediction on my part...but we HAVE to see Christian again soon. He's been too important in the course of the show and has now been discarded like Claire should have been. Actually, Claire is the connection here. We KNOW that suddenly knappy-haired Claire had a ton of encounters with ghostly Christian, so perhaps she will bridge the gap that brings Christian back to us! I would really love for that to be the case. My own personal confusion regarding WHO Christian is and how he's involved is at an all time high. I need some measure of advancement on that front before I get stabby.

3.) Ben's posse arrives - Haven't we kept Ben away from all of the good characters for too long? Haven't we made Sun do enough boring standing around and wandering? It's time to get all of our gang together, and that means having Mr. Linus and his walking buds finally arrive at the Temple. This may not seem like all that big of a deal, but if it means that we don't have to watch another "trek through the jungle" episode, I'm good with that.

4.) Sayid kills someone - Yes, it's that age-old prediction of...WAIT, WHY WOULD I PUT THIS AT NUMBER 4?! SAYID KILLS SOMEONE IS ALWAYS PREDICTION NUMBER 5!! I END WITH IT BECAUSE IT'S PUNCHY AND FUNNY AND IT'S BECOME A TRADEMARK AND THE ONLY REASON I WOULD POSSIBLY PUT IT AT 4 IS IF....

5.) Sayid dies - It's the final season. Nobody has died yet. It's time to raise the stakes. It's going to pain me to lose Mr. Jarrah. I hope I'm wrong. I know his character has been thoroughly explored, I know he has little really left to "do" or "offer," but we've spent so much time together he and I. Why, it seems like just yesterday I watched him kill someone with his feet. My prediction is that Sayid comes to understand that the darkness IS growing in him. That he DOES kill someone (maybe the translator?) and realizes he's about to become something awful. One last time, he does the most heroically redemptive thing he can do. Mirroring the time that he went walking down the beach after he gave in and tortured Sawyer, I think he's going to take his own life somehow. If not this episode, then soon.

Sniffle. I hope that I'm wrong on that last one. Okay, here's hoping for a slam-bang epi this week, or at the very least a damn enjoyable one. Fingers crossed!

Talk to the Flocke: Reactions to the "Lost" episode "The Lighthouse"

If last week's episode was a fillet mignon served with $100-a-glass wine and a desert made of pure gold, this week's episode of "Lost" was a damn fine hamburger served with greasy fries. It was satisfying, but not "oh my God you HAVE to TRY THIS" satisfying. That said...it's grown on me. It's grown on me quite a bit. I think what we had here was a good character-based episode that served the important purpose of reminding us that Jack, not Ben or Locke, but Jack, not Sawyer or Kate, but JACK is the hero of this show. I know everybody wants to spin it to be somebody else, but they are supporting players (cool-ass supporting players, but supporting players) to the lead of the show. Jack's journey is a good one, full of flaws and missteps and good intentions. He's the hero of this show. He "has some work to do." Also, the episode gets mad bonus points for a few mythology notes. Enough preamble, let's do this yo.

Things I liked

• Jack's flash sideways: Yeah, I liked that he had a kid. I liked that HE was the one working through creating the daddy issues. Sure, when he was involved with raising Aaron, some of those things came up, but back then he was troubled more by the whole "this is my sister's kid" thing. I liked that we saw him trying to break the cycle. Also, the Dogen appearance was crazy. Does that mean that Dogen ISN'T really old like he said? Or is he somehow appearing in the flash sideways as an agent of Jacob still? He sure did seem to know SOMETHING.
• The Lighthouse: Yeah, I know it SOUNDS like horseshit that we hadn't seen the lighthouse on the island before, but we're dealing with quasi-immortal beings who can turn into smoke. I'm guessing they could hide a lighthouse with some kind of trickery if they wanted to. Anyway, the gears were totally reminiscent of the frozen donkey wheel, which is cool because it keeps that nerdy cohesion between the designs. Also, seriously, how cool is it that we know now how they spy on people off the island. Sure, it doesn't make a lot of scientific sense (although I'm guessing we're going to get some vague "quantum mechanics" explanation at some point for it), but it was totally cool. More on this in the answers section below.
• Hurley's transformation: I LOOOOVED the conversation between him and Jacob. The open and honest way he explained that he would keep doing what Jacob wanted provided he stopped effing with his emotions. Perfect. I also really liked the way in which he's stopped fighting against the weirdness around him. No more panic, just going with it. What else are you going to do at this point.
• Claire's squirrel baby: The best thing involving Claire in 6 seasons. Also, props to Cameron (my friend) for dubbing it the "faby."
• Adam and Eve: My favorite mini-mystery is back! Hurley's theory about who the skeletons were cracked me up because that's been an idea for a long, long time. That said, I like that they called attention to them again. That's important in my book. Thanks for not dropping that one, guys!
  

Things I didn't like

• Claire: Claire sucks. Claire sucks bad. Claire is the worst actress in the history of television. From her ridiculous line delivery to the fact that she can't even swing an axe believably, I detest her. I find her "madness" confusing and nonsensical. Worst of all, I don't even care about it. I like that Flocke is building his army, I don't care that Claire is one of them. Let's move on. Although, one quick issue: Her connection to Flocke AND Christian is disorienting. I have long thought Christian was a good guy, but now that we see Claire hanging out with Flocke after hanging out with Christian before she disappeared...I'm no longer sure. Oh, mind you, I don't care about Claire's involvement in this, I just care about Christian.
• The pacing: I want them to pick up the pace a bit in the flash sideways. We only get half an episode for one season to really invest in what's going on in this entirely different world. Give us more of it. Don't make us guess whether or not Jack's ex-wife and baby momma is important, show us who she is. Don't send him on a boring car ride around looking for his son, have him come home and instantly find a note or something that suggests where he went. Get where you're going faster in that world, show writers. So far, that half of each episode is too full of lazy writing. Don't tell me it's that I'm too amped up and want more mythological answers. I do, for sure, but I want the flash sideways to not dawdle because they don't have time to make us care. Make us care faster by moving faster through what's going on.
• The editing: So Kate shows up and then just leaves? Hi Sayid! Bye Sayid? It was kind of all over the place. Again, my biggest problem this year is that they seem to be writing poor structurally. They need to think about framing their episodes a little better.
• Christian's body: So, they had a funeral...did they have the body? If not, why worry about the will THAT YOU COULDN'T FIND WHEN IT WAS SITTING ON THE SHELF and not about the missing body. If it did get returned for the funeral, where was it? Things that could be explored instead of watching Jack drive around from place to place.
  

Answers

• I see you: Well, there's only one real answer, but it's a big one. They've been spying on these people from the beginning and it's been through the lighthouse. Cool. The question then becomes, have these people been manipulated or watched? Intriguing.
• Jack is important: I liked this reveal. Not that it was shocking or an "answer" per se, but we know now for sure that he is the central figure in Jacob's plan. I think there's no question that this show is going to require a redemptive sacrifice from Jack. My bet is, it's NOT going to involve him sacrificing himself, which he is more than willing to do, but allowing something bad to happen in front of him for the greater good. Also, I think he's the new Jacob. I do. I know it's "obvious" and not as fun as thinking of Hurley or JeYeon or whatever, but this is just fine for me. I buy it.
• Kate: Austen is number 51 on the wheel. It's becoming increasingly obvious she isn't a candidate at all. So, why is she important? My guess is that she's involved in the sacrifice that Jack has to make.
  

Reflections

To me the reason why this episode has grown on me is the significance of the lighthouse and "Alice in Wonderland" and the sparkles of "does Jack remember" in the flash sideways.

• Lighthouse: The theme of the show is clearly free will versus fate, but never before have we seen it like this. They could well have manipulated them since childhood, or the Man in Black and Jacob could have just been watching. Really interesting. Also, the fact that 108 keeps getting brought up leads to an interesting idea. If 108 is the sum of all the numbers, then why do we assume that only one candidate is needed? What if this is a group effort?
• Alice in Wonderland: Jack's stories have always echoed through this "looking glass" lens, going back to the white rabbit episode and references and his following his white shoe-wearing father through the jungle. I like this. I also like that Flocke is kind of the Jabberwocky. It's cool.
• Sideways: This is the crux of the show. I think we're getting the post-show during the show, if that makes sense. I think there's every chance that the season ends with them getting to enter the flash sideways world, making what we see happening the epilogue, the "what happens next" stuff. That's cool, but you have to make us care more about it. The pace is too deliberate right now and the questions are too frequent. I like the idea, I just want better execution. That said, I loved the appendix scene and the Claire reference.
  

Overall, I give the episode a B. I liked it, but I didn't love it. I need more of Christian, who is just not being mentioned enough. I need the final pieces to come together. When Jacob tells Hurley that they can't get back in time, that better mean that next episode the SHIT GOES DOWN. They walked to the lighthouse in half a day, if they can't get back to the temple "in time to warn them" we'd better see craziness next episode. This laid some groundwork, but next episode, let's see some craziness go down. What say you, my fellow "Losties?"

Sayid Kills Someone and other "Lost" Predictions

Last week's episode was a juggernaut (bitch), it busted me in the face and made me want someone to bring the amberlamps...and other internet meme references. So, I'm going to forgive Doc Jensen, my favorite "Lost" reviewer, a little slack for his first two pages of his column this week. Those two pages are dedicated to a theory that involves Huey Lewis and the News. Yep, feel free to skip to page 3 this week in Doc's column, where things get good (he has a great breakdown of Sawyer following Joseph Campbell's archetypal hero's journey...yeah, I'm a dork). By the way, I can't read about Huey Lewis and the News without thinking of the episode of "The Office" where Michael promotes Bruce Springsteen tickets by playing a Huey Lewis song. Funny, but not important to "Lost." So, let's move on before this digression gets even worse.

Back to the greatest pop culture event of this or any decade: The final season of the greatest TV show. I missed SOOOOO much last week because there was just SOOOO much to miss. So, let's take just a minute before we dive headlong into THIS week's sure-to-be-disappointing-because-it's-going-to-feature-Claire episode.

Things I missed

1.) Climbing down into the cave that Flocke SWEARS is Jacob's would make what Sawyer and Flocke were climbing down...JACOB'S LADDER. Now, I've been looking through some stuff about that biblical story that features Jacob and everyone is obsessing over the Esau part. Me, I think we're meant to find a different "Jacob story," one that I'm reminded of from a line in U2's "Bullet the Blue Sky." "Jacob wrestled the angel, and the angel was overcome." What if...what if this is the battle we're seeing? Jacob "overcoming the angel?" Oh, and the angel in that biblical story WAS NEVER SPECIFICALLY CALLED BY NAME. They only said his name is the same as the place where the battle took place, which Jacob called Peniel. I love this idea, that the Man in Black (old Flocke) is an "angel" of some kind. That his name is the same name as the island. God, that would be great.

2.) As often as they've made the point about things being equal, wouldn't this mean that Jacob can ALSO turn into a smoke monster? So simple...but so interesting.

3.) When the freaky kid showed up in the island and only Sawyer and Flocke could see him, who did he mean when he said "you can't kill him." Did he mean Sawyer or was Flocke going to use Sawyer to kill someone else?

This is just so great. If you say you didn't love the last episode, I worry for you. That's the best type of episode the show has to offer. Great character stuff in the flash-sideways and great mythology stuff on the island. The perfect episode. Which is why we're GOING to be disappointed tonight. In fact, let's kick off the predictions with that.

Predictions for "The Lighthouse"

1.) It's not going to be great: As much as I would like to see the rare back-to-back awesome episode trick...it won't happen. This will be a bit of a letdown, but hopefully not by much. This is a Jack-centric episode, which means we may get more interesting things happening in the flash-sideways, since there's a good chance he remembers more than most (and what was with the cut on his neck...and what's with Christian's body missing...). So the good news is, I'm equally intrigued by BOTH sides of the episode tonight, the bad news is that we're going to get a lot of Claire. Ugh.

2.) Jack is going to make another plan that doesn't work: We've been stuck in the Uh-Oh Temple for awhile now, which means by "Lost" rules, we have to have the obligatory "let's escape by doing some dumb shit that Jack wants us to do that won't work and will likely leave someone gravely injured" episode. My guess is that he freaks out because they want to kill Sayid. Jack decides he doesn't want to, and can't, kill his friend, so he organizes a jailbreak. Hurley will try to argue against it, but Miles will listen...and likely will be the one gravely injured. In 6 years of watching, Jack's most successful plan thus far has been to swallow a pill that turned out to be poison so someone would tell him what it was. That doesn't bode well.

3.) Claire is still going to be uninteresting: I know it's cool to think of her "having the sickness," but I'm betting she'll just be doing a bad Rousseau impression...and I do mean bad. She thinks Aaron is still on the island, and Jin will tell her he's not. This will not register with her, and so she'll do some more whining and acting crazy. I do think we'll find out that she has been stuck on the island by herself for 3 years while everyone else was time hopping. I also think we're getting a Christian reference and not just in Jack's flash sideways. I'll go so far as to make that a bonus prediction: We will see Christian in island form and he WILL say important shit about Jacob. Wow, that's a bonus prediction.

4.) Widmore is coming: We know from the freighter's arrival that Widmore found the island once. It probably took him some time, but I think he found it again. I think he's on his way to the island and that he's the big nasty force that is threatening the island THIS time around. See, I believe in the whole cyclical nature of the island. In previous incarnations, it wasn't Widmore that was the bad guy but someone else. This time around, though, the thing that Jacob is supposed to protect the island from IS Widmore and he's coming. This will throw things off because if Flocke's recruits are fighting Jacob's people, nobody is protecting the island. I think this is setting us up for the end game, and Widmore's arrival marks the beginning of that final battle.

5.) Sayid kills someone: I think this will be the episode he goes full-blooded bad. He's gonna ice somebody, and I think it may be someone we care about. Somebody like a Miles. Maybe this will happen AS Jack is trying to help everyone "escape" from the temple. It seems like a way in which Jack's plan can go wrong. "I won't kill, Sayid. He's my friend." Jailbreak attempt. While they're escaping, Sayid whacks Miles. Cut to Jack going "DAMMIT! I should have stayed. I was wrong AGAIN!" It can happen.

I'm pumped after last week. I'm hopeful for a back-to-back extravaganza, but we'll have to see. Happy Losting folks!

Oh, and a bonus note for my friend in Chi-town, Heather. What if Hurleybird was Jacob? If Flocke can go smoke monster and become PEOPLE, what if Jacob can go smoke monster and become animals...like say horses and birds?

T-Minus 7 days until my life is whole again

"Lost" is ending. I'll give you a second to wedge a Popsicle stick in your mouth to bite down on.

Okay, feel better? This impending conclusion makes many of my fellow Losties sad enough to stream crocodile tears down their incredibly beautiful faces (did I not mention that loving "Lost" instantly makes you insanely good looking? Because it does). For me, the ending is welcomed, even if it is a little bit depressing. I'm a fan of ends, which is the reason why "The Tempest" is probably my favorite Shakespeare play, why I still revere Sir Mixx A Lott as an incredible humanitarian, and why I can watch the final quarter, half, or inning of any sporting event even if I don't care about the teams (notice I didn't say "period," because sports that have period can end in a 0-0 tie, which is like not ending at all). The end is the point, right? I know that the journey is where all of the fun comes in, that you can love the shit out of a show and hate the ending (I'm looking at you "Battlestar Galactica"... and you, Andrew "As your best friend, I feel it is my duty to crap on your pleasant indifference on the ending of that show until you hate it as much as I do" Merczak). But, really, the end matters more than the rest of it because it's the destination we've been working towards for six damn years. Hell, if you had a kid when the show first started, that kid is now in grade school (I wanted to say college, but that didn't sound right).

Basically, all of us Losties have been reading the same novel and we've finally reached the last few chapters. I feel a sense of accomplishment, I feel as though my patience is about to be rewarded, and I feel as though the best discussions of "Lost" are ahead of us, not behind us. Speaking of which, when I visited Chicago recently, I had a great evening with four incredible (and incredibly good-looking) people (they are, remember, "Lost" fans). We talked FOR HOURS about the ins and outs of the show, and it was just fan-freakin-tastic. Knowing that this is our "last chance" this season to do that (which I think is crap because there is no way they wrap everything up, and even if they do we then get to have the "I thought (Fill in the Blank) was awesome/a total cop out" arguments), let's engage this show as much as possible. I know that there are forums some people hang out on to discuss things. Feel free to leave comments on the weekly "Lost" Predictions (which will post Tuesday morning) and "Lost" Reactions (which will post Wednesday morning) columns that include the best of what you find elsewhere. Let's make this a repository for good ideas. I'll start with a few from my main man Doc Jensen, who is so awesome that I just want to hang out with him and down some beer and talk some whacked-out theories.

In his most recent column, Doc takes on the big stuff (after going through an interesting...but weird...divergent inclusion of a bunch of Sting's music...not my favorite side-journey you've made there, Doc). Anyway, here's what I find most interesting about his theories. These are NOT spoilers. They are guesses. Yes, they are guesses made by a smart, smart man but he has been wrong at about a ratio of 10 incorrect guesses to 1, so it's not like he has some kind of divining rod or something. Still, this is your warning, look away if you want. I'll highlight my favorite parts of his responses.

1.) What is the Island

Doc sez - "The Island is the literal manifestation of an old way of looking at the world common to all people — a world full of magic and spirits, angels and daemons. The Island used to be much bigger and occupied much more of the world's psychic geography. The Island once may have even been the whole wide world. But skepticism, cynicism, and disbelief has caused it to shrink away from our mind's eye, becoming nothing more than a slender piece of ephemeral real estate"

Okay, I love that shit. Love, love, love, love it. I think we all had this in mind, really, but it is so perfectly articulated that I love it. It explains why there's multiple religious connotations (Egyptian stuff, Christian stuff, etc), it explains the "afterworld" nature of it, and it nails almost everything it has to succinctly. Also, I'd like to point out, when it comes to magic, my favorite Arthur C Clarke quote: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

Love it.

2.) What is the monster?

Doc sez it's the Man in Black (MIB). I agree.

3.) What are the numbers?

Doc sez - "The Numbers are a metaphor for our yearning for meaning amid chaos. They have no intrinsic supernatural power"

I agree. I like that those specific ones happen to be components of the crazy equation mentioned in the alternate reality game, but I kind of like this answer too.

4.) Is everyone from 815 connected?

"Remember in The Matrix, when the heroes saw the same black cat stroll past them twice in a span of seconds? It was explained that this experience of literal dejà vu was a glitch in the simulated reality of the matrix that occurred whenever the simulated had to be rebooted or updated. My theory is that the coincidences/synchronicities/serendipities in Lost are something very similar — they are proofs that reality is being tampered with."

Hell yes. This is another fantastic answer. Basically, Doc says that the connections we've seen between people are an outward sign of them being shoehorned together. That Jacob selected them and is now shepherding them to the same destiny and THAT'S why they have these coincidences. What I like about all of Jensen's predictions and theories is that they are elegantly simple today. I think he's right.

5.) What's up with the ghosts?

Doc sez they're manifestations of smokey/MIB (aside from Christian Shepherd). I'm down with that. Christian IS clearly different than the other ghosts. He seems to be sentient. Especially given the short that showed him talking to Vincent with no one else around.

6.) What's up with Jacob and MIB?

This is complicated. Here's Doc's highlights "Jacob and MIB are daemons that fulfill the functions of the Island. Jacob served the additional role of Island caretaker....

I would not assign values of ''good'' and ''evil'' to Jacob and MIB. However, I would say that perhaps both have grossly erred in their respective conspiracies because they violated a rule that is bigger than both of them: the sanctity of mankind's free will. MIB has been using people, notably Locke and Ben, to execute his/its plan. Likewise, Jacob has been using the castaways to subvert MIB's subversion. This brings us to ''The Loophole.'' When MIB spoke of wanting to find a loophole, what he meant was finding a way to make all-powerful Jacob vulnerable so he could kill him. By way of explaining exactly what I mean, let me cite another great story: Nell Gaiman's Sandman, the saga of Morpheus, the lord of dreams. In the final stages of that epic fantasy, it was revealed that much of the story involved a conspiracy by the hero's embittered sister (Desire) to get him to make a big mistake that would trigger a cosmic process that would produce his death. (I won't spoil anything more.) I think MIB tricked/forced Jacob to make a similar error, in this case, violating the holy order of respecting human free will. In trying to stop MIB, Jacob has had to meddle in human affairs to a degree that he's not permitted. (I'm thinking the conspicuous touching of select castaways was a big no-no) The consequence for his transgression is the same one that Adam and Eve received when they decided their own interests were more important than the divine rules: mortality. And so it went that an eternal entity once nigh invincible became vulnerable and killable. That said, I think Jacob knew exactly what he was doing. He broke the rules and knew he'd have to pay the price for doing so."

This is why I love this guy. Thorough. Again, I agree.

7.) How will it end?

Hands down my favorite of Doc's theories EVER, here's what he says:

"In the end, Locke will be resurrected and given eternal life and will assume Jacob's role in the Island's function. As I said two weeks ago: I predict the final scene of Lost will be a redux of the Jacob/Man In Black conversation on the beach scene from last season's finale — instead this time, it'll be John Locke in Jacob's place. As for his adversary, he'll be wearing a new identity — that of Benjamin Linus. It ends with this:

Fake Ben: Do you know how badly I want to kill you right now?

And then Locke looks at him with a knowing glint"

Anybody else just throw up? That's AWESOME, right?!

Okay, a lot to digest, I've rambled too long, but I'm getting excited. Comment away, let's get some talk going, I'm ready to finish the longest "book" I've ever read. Oh, and like I'd forget. Here's Evangeline Lilly.

Okay, I lied, there is one thing I can't live without.