Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Sayid (can't) Kill Someone and Other "Lost" Predictions

Sniffle. I had to adjust the title of this prediction column for the first time. Tonight, I for one will be pouring some of whatever beverage I'm sipping on the sidewalk for that Other-killing bad ass, that torturer-with-a-heart-of-gold, that bad-guy-turned-good-guy-turned-bad-guy-turned-good-guy. Sayid...you will be missed. Oh yeah, and Sun and Jin will get a little dribble too, even though they haven't been given anything to do since season 3. At least the column will only have a new title for a few weeks. We all do realize that there's only going to be one more prediction column after this? Okay, fine two. I'll do one on the 18th and one on the 21st (Friday). But that's only because I love you.

Before we get started talking about this episode, which gives me the piss jitters I'm so excited for it (I may or may not have had a dream about it last night, which I will tell you about in my predictions), let me show you this awesome shirt on Teefury.com.

That shirt will only be available TODAY from TeeFury and will run you less than $10. Go to there.

Okay, let's talk about tonight. "Across the Sea" may not be the sexiest title ever, but it may be the episode we've been waiting for (at least since the end of last season). We have good reason to believe that we're going to get some serious, hardcore answers to things like "who are Jacob and the Man in Black," "how did Smokey become, you know, Smokey," "what are 'the rules' that govern them," and "who's the kid?" That is, we will find such things out if they're smart. If they're smart, they will allow us to have the finale be about how these things play out with our characters. You don't really want to end on "answers," because as we've seen, those conversations are boring and apparently involve our beloved characters asking questions like "So you're saying that BLANK is really BLANK?" to which the person being asked the question replies "Yes, that is the answer to that question." That's not how to have a slam bang finale to the show. The key is to settle some of the debate AHEAD of time and allow the finale to breathe. That's my take anyway.

Speaking of my take, last week's writeup was a bit of a Rorschach test. I had several people say to me "I didn't like it either" and others say "Wow, you liked it more than I did" or "I loved it, too." I must have covered my bases pretty well, insofar as everyone seemed to read agreement out of what I was saying. I think my take home thought was this: As much as the run-over-here-no-wait-run-over-there shit was as tiresome as ever, I loved the emotional gut punch that culminated in Hurley bawling and Kate's "I couldn't find you." That said, I believe that the show now has it within itself to finish with a flourish. This episode, next episode (titled "What They Died For"), and the final episode ("The End") should organically compose a big sendoff.

But that begins tonight. This is the hardest predictions I've ever had to make for three reasons: (1) I don't get to automatically have a Sayid prediction, even though he's still "alive" in the sideways, (2) the gravity of this episode, with the Jacob/MiB revelations, makes it way difficult, and (3) I'm trying to enjoy these final hours as much as possible. This means trying to not be a grumpus about every tiny detail. That's hard, yo.

But if this were easy, everybody would do it instead of just the thousands of us who have blogs already. Okay, so it's not exactly plugging an off-shore drilling leak, but you get the idea. Without further ado, it's time to sack up and pump out some predictions for the episode I've been waiting for since I first heard about it months ago.

Predictions for "Across the Sea"

1.) The only angel on the island is Kate - Continuing my "great moments in Evangeline Lilly photos" series...
Point is, I don't think that we're going to find out that Jacob or the Man in Black are angels. I think that's still going to be something we can infer, but I don't think that's going to be the answer. I think what we're going to see is that there was once a bunch of people living on the island. Our black/white men were just some of them living there. I think the "electromagnetism" is going to take on some kind of spiritual bend, and I think it's going to be what causes them to be "stuck" on the island. I think they're going to experience "flashes" that show them their roles after exposure to said electromagnetism, which is also going to give them their powers. I think this will allow Desmond's electro-abilities to be what kills the MiB in the end. Why do I think this? Because unless the show wants to literally cast God as a character, they're going to have to rely on some hokey science/religion blend, and electromagnetism has long been the island's "magic sauce." I'm not saying we will like it, but I think this will be the answer.

2.) What's in a name? - One of my favorite "forgotten" questions is whether or not this island has a name. As much as I don't think that Jacob and the MiB are angels, I DO think that they will follow the story of "Jacob wrestling the angel" from the bible in one regard: I think that the MiB's name (much like the angel who was "overcome" in the old testament) will be the same name as the island, whatever that is. Kind of a weird prediction, but it's kind of a weird episode.

3.) As time goes by - I think we're going to get the whole span of these characters. At least, I hope so. I know that they're going to start us out in the far, far, far past. I hope that they show us throughout the years the evolution of this struggle. I hope that we see at least mention of or after-effects from other people who were "pulled to the island." The stakes are so high here. If this whole show has really been about the struggle between these two, then we're going to HAVE to have them as crystal clear characters in our minds for the series finale to work. Thus, I am praying with all my might that they take us on a magical mystery tour throughout the centuries these guys have been "alive." I hope that we build to some of the Dharma era stuff, when we can see what the involvement of some of these characters with other characters actually was. This is probably too much to do in one episode, but I'm hoping this is a nonstop answerfest. A boy can hope, right?

4.) What's at stake - If "Lost" is guilty of one thing above all others, it's overstating things. "A war is coming." "If you don't press the button, the whole world ends." And so on. I want to believe that the stakes are high here. We need to no longer deal with abstract threats of "war" and "destruction." I want them to spell out clearly and directly exactly what things will happen when this bastard gets off this island. What kind of world ruining are we talking about? Does everyone become super evil and start killing each other? Does the entire reality just blink out of existence? What kind of horrible things are we talking about. Of all things, this is one that the creators HAVE to get right if we're going to be totally in on the nature of the final episode. My prediction, officially, is that reality blinks out of existence, allowing for a quantum answer to things as well.

5.) Sayid...er, Smokey kills somebody - What I hope is the best moment of this episode is smokey's transformation. I want to see the first moment when he goes from man to monster...and I want it to be violent. My guess is that the island was once populated, smokey becomes smokey and then everybody but Jacob gets straight-up killed. I want to see a big, grand moment for this. Yes, we've known about "the monster" from the first episode. Now it's time to make that "monster" something epic. For the last season, he's been in the body of John Locke. It's so familiar to us, that it's hard to remember the scope of what's inside said body. Let it out, yo. Let us see that murderous transformation in all its glory.

Okay, enough. I'm so excited I could poop (again). I can't wait to see if this is the episode I think that it can be. I already have it penciled in the short list for my favorite ones ever. Let's hope that's not premature. If you want to be smart, send in YOUR predictions as comments here and look really smart when they come true (or don't). Just don't spoil anything you KNOW for sure, or you'll be stoned to death.

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