Cutting Room Floor is home to a sea of snark and snippets about upcoming movies, rumors about films, and other assorted nonsense. Sure, the information is mostly accumulated from other reputable sources, but the sarcasm is 100% home grown.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Really quick note about Lost-related news
I will never be finished talking about something involving "Lost," no matter how peripheral it may be. News broke today that the show being created and pitched by the producers of "Lost" is called "Once Upon a Time," which I hate. It's also totally about "modern fairy tales," is a "mix of sci fi and fantasy with a strong mystery element" and features a "female protagonist." Well, other than the title, I am totally pumped. I mean, obviously a lot depends on who you hire as the female protagonist. Yes, the mix of sci-fi and mystery is compelling, but it really comes down to who anchors your show as the lead. I mean, with a show that's going to be this far on the edge, and given the loyalty that many fans had to "Lost," you're going to need someone that fans can really cling to and hold on to with all their hearts (and minds and other things). There's no one right answer. I mean, there are so many talented, talented young actresses out there. Let's just say that I'm thrilled that they are not going with another boring, stale old male in the lead. It's nice to have a powerful female character, no matter who plays the part. The important thing to remember is that it's about what will work best for the show, not what will work best for momentary buzz or short-term attention. Who has the talent to steer a show for 5-6 years? THAT's the real question, you know? Like does anybody out there that we're familiar with, that these producers in particular are comfortable with, have the ability to really take the first show post-"Lost" from these creators in an exciting direction?
Because excitement is what this is about, you know.
If anyone has any suggestions as to who should be the lead, you just let me know.
E! Online is reporting that ABC, the only entity taking the loss of "Lost" harder than I am, is contemplating a reboot of "Alias." Allow me to be the first to say that when it comes to miss Sidney Bristow, I'll go George McFly on your ass. HEY YOU, GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF OF HER! That's Sidney Bristow...the ONLY Sidney Bristow. See, it's like this, ABC thinks they can revive a JJ Abrams property they've already had before and "fix it." You don't "fix" things this great. Were there missteps in "Alias?" Oh yeah. Problem is, most of them involved LISTENING TO ABC. The show, which is about a superhot spy who is involved in double crosses, double-double crosses, and the occasional double-double-double cross (but never a menage-a-tois), was blasted for being too "bogged down with mythology" and for forcing viewers to "have to watch every episode." You know, the very things that made people love "Lost." They want to redo the series WITHOUT Rimbaldi, which means nothing to many of you but is causing seizures in those of you who are like me. This is like saying "we should do Star Wars but lose that 'Force' stuff, it's too weird." So, what you really are pitching, ABC, is a generic spy show. Um, NBC is launching "Undercover" this year...which is a JJ Abrams series about a couple who happen to be spies. At this point, I'm hoping that E! Online's sources are as believable as the reality TV stars on E! Entertainment Television. This is to say I hope they're more full of crap than a Kardashian. If they really want to capitalize on the series, why not bring back J-Gar up there (who last I checked was not particularly busy) to do a follow-up movie? That would be great...provided it had some Rimbaldi in it. Sometimes it amazes me that people can be so dense as to hate the thing that makes the thing good. So far, I'm poised to cut ABC out of my life (dance with those stars, suckers).
Every birthday holds within it something different. For example, this morning I woke up to the nauseating smell of polyurethane floor sealer (we're finishing the hardwood floors), the discovery that a critter had gotten into the outside trash, news that someone at my job had failed to check in properly and thus we had both spent the entire last week duplicating work, and the following two comments from readers of this here blog: Regarding my scoop on the villain of Green Lantern, I was told "You received an email regarding highly sought after information that if any other entertainment news outlet received would have made BIG headlines, and it's supposedly legit? Really? No offense (nah, I take that back) but that's a load of crap. I'm a member of the Warner Bros Press site and receive all of their official press releases. This is not one of them" and by a different fellow who was much more to the point, "Yeah right. That "official synopsis" looks like it was written by a 12 year old." But you know what I did? Stood outside until the nausea passed, double bagged my spilled trash, confirmed with my job that it wasn't my fault for the duplication, and responded to the naysayers with a completely honest response. I told them, "Hey, I wouldn't believe me either!" and offered to forward them the email I received so they could judge for themselves (it is, by the by, totally 100% legit). Point is, at my age, you make your own birthday joy. Nobody's passing out cupcakes in your honor.
Okay, so on to why we're here (well, why you're here...I'm here because my parents did it 32 years and 9 months ago). It's not only my birthday, it's a Junk Drawer day. And since I only do Junk Drawer on Thursdays, this convergence of special events only happens once every 150 years!!!! What's that? I'm being told that is not accurate. But what better way to celebrate my arrival on this planet than by showing the world my junk. As you know, by junk I mean movie news too small to warrant its own individual post and not "what my momma gave me." We always begin by looking at the creepy image above from Highlights Magazine FOR CHILDREN and selecting one of the items about which I write something nonsensical but hilarious (to me). Today's item is the knob on the drawer. When Ethyl first bought the house, she noticed something was different about it. The whole thing felt...alive! When she moved in, she started noticing something about the windows that peered out from the front and the way the door was centered in the middle, almost smiling. It wasn't until she noticed that the junk drawer handle seemed to get firmer when she touched it that she realized that the whole thing was....ALIVE!!!! As it turns out, whenever Ethyl needed twine or other junk and grabbed that handle, she was tweaking the house's nipples.
Yeah, I just wrote a fake story about house nipples. Why is it people won't buy my "breaking news" again? At any rate, here's the tidbits worth mentioning this week.
1.) Atlas WILL shrug, DAMMIT! - They're shooting Atlas Shrugged on June 11. Producer John Aglialoro has set that start date hard in stone, according to Deadline. Just one problem...he doesn't have a cast...like, at all. Although he's claiming that he's trying to get Maggie Gyllenhaal and all of her double letters to join in or to sway Charlize Theron (who I kind of like now after her "Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis" segment) to sign on for the lead. I sure hope they have some time in their schedule RIGHT NOW! Slashfilm.com points out that independent films work this way all the time. Except, this isn't some tiny production. Aglialoro paid a million buckaroos (dollars, not bonzais) for the rights. I admire his moxie, the cut of his jib if you will, but I somehow doubt that this will happen. Funny story, when I first started the column Cutting Room in the paper copy of the Reader, someone took the time to type in a story I wrote about Angelina Jolie's then involvement with Atlas Shrugged. It was on some weird Ayn Rand fan site, where my name remains to this day. I was kind of honored, but also kind of freaked out. So, crazy devotees of Rand and her really morose and dense book, please don't stab voodoo dolls of me or whatever witchcraft it is you do if this latest project doesn't happen. Deal? And before you accuse me of being insensitive to the Randians, tell me how creepy the gold dude is that's on the cover of their shit. He's coming for me. Look how angry he seems...and I don't even want to know what kind of "Dr. Manhattan" show of horrors will occur if he turns and faces me.
2.) Losties, get ready for something gooooooood - By this point, you've either seen the finale or you are a spoiler-avoiding ninja. Get ready for a "sick dodge" on this one: In addition to the news that Walt will, in fact, make an appearance in the extra footage shot for the Season 6 DVD, I have more news...news so good you won't believe me. Remember the awesome exchange between Ben and Hurley in the sideways world about how Ben was a "great number two" and Hurley was "a great number one." They shot it. Yeah, you heard me. They shot it. At least 12-14 minutes of it. So, we may be getting answers to questions like Walt AND a glimpse of "Afterlost" (as someone smarter than me dubbed it) that follows Ben and Hurley for awhile. I'm in heaven. Well, they are, but you get what I'm saying. How great is that?! I love that the producers are embracing the mediums that are offered to them. Why NOT include extra stuff on DVD? If the problem really was that you were constrained by the limits of airtime from ABC, then enjoy the unlimited restrictions of home video. I officially can't wait until August. The island is never done with me, is it? It's after the finale and I'm once more waiting for more "Lost."
3.) The shortlist for Spidey is 100% Effron- and Twilight-free - I'm not going to get too excited about this, on account of how stupid a new origin story is and all, but THR's list of the people Sony has on the shortlist for Peter Parker is more encouraging than I thought. Whereas I was sure this was going to be cast out of the last issue of "Tiger Beat" (they still make that, right? If not, it was a magazine that had young male hunks in it for teenaged girls to swoon over and not a feline soft core porn mag), it looks like they really like limeys. Jamie Bell, Andrew Garfield, Alden Ehrenreich, Frank Dillane, and Josh Hutcherson. Now, I know what you're thinking...THE Alden Ehrenreich? Oh yes. That's right, Tetro's Alden Ehrenreich. Household name? Nope. Hearthrob? I doubt it. Last name sounds like a final maneuver in Hitler's army? Oh yes. I don't know jack squat about these guys, all of whom have some level of experience but not much. My money is, like everyone's, on Hutcherson, who has actually done big-budget movies before (Zathura, Journey to the Center of the Earth). Feel free to IMDB these suckers and see what you think. I would do it but I'm afraid if I type in Garfield and Bell, I'll get some joke about Odie's tongue.
4.) Run, Logan, Run!! - THR.com's Heat Vision is reporting that Carl Rinsch, who did that excellent short film a few weeks back and just-so-happens to be Ridley Scott's son-in-law, just landed the director's seat for the remake of Logan's Run. This project has more starts and fits than an epileptic in rush hour traffic. I won't walk you through the entire directorial shuffle that has taken place to this point, but let's just say that Rinsch is likely going to be replaced by the time I finish typing this if the past is any indicator. For those who don't remember, Logan's Run is about a society in which people who pass a certain age are killed. It's sort of like what Sarah Palin said the heath care reform was like, only more realistic. As for who will play the lead character, a man who once hunted down those who refused to accept their termination but is now running himself, it will likely be someone young. I say the official shortlist should be whoever doesn't get Peter Parker. So if you don't wind up playing Spider-man, you may play Logan. Wow, now that's a nerd joke.
5.) Trailers, parked - I have but one rule: If you put Rachel McAdams in it, I will go to there. Period. Even though you may cast her in some generic-looking romantic comedy with Diane Keaton, I will go to there. If you title it something stupid and wholesome-sounding, I will go to there. If you poke Harrison Ford with a stick until he angrily wakes up and include him in that movie, I will go to there. There is nothing I won't do for a little McAdams. Plus, it doesn't hurt that Morning Glory (groan) is somehow a Bad Robot production. It does hurt that the writer also wrote 27 Dresses. Still, I'm seeing it for the love of a woman.
Next up is The Killer Inside Me, which stars Casey Affleck (totally underrated dude) as a bad, bad man. The film noir tale was blasted for its horrifying misogynistic violence, although I heard a defense of it that was pretty compelling. Basically, the director said that when violence against women is glossy and not totally vomit-inducing, THAT is the disservice. I'm not sure if I buy it. Further complicating matters, the violence is against Jessica Alba, who cinematically deserves whatever happens to her. Judge for yourself whether this is something you can handle.
Finally, even though it's my birthday, here's the new Twilight: Eclipse trailer.
Now, if someone could just tell me why the wolves from The Day After Tomorrow are so pissed at those pale gymnasts dressed in black, I think I could totally get on board. Also, I believe the film looks like it was shot in Alaska, so I am going to blame Palin for this one too.
Okay, that's it for a birthday edition of my Junk Drawer. I'll be back tomorrow for a Friday that should launch us straight into Memorial Day weekend! Huzzah for 3-day weekends, right?!
Talk to the Flocke: Reactions to The End of "Lost"
To every dear friend, family member, or kind stranger who truly didn't like the final journey of "Lost": I feel so bad for you.
I really do. Not in that way where I am looking down on someone like they're some kind of idiot for not thinking that something I love is cool. I get it. There are 100% perfectly acceptable reasons to dismiss it or not like it. You could hate that Dharma did, in fact, end up being just a plot device that wasn't all that meaningful. You could hate that they left a big ole boatload of questions unanswered (the most recent one: what exactly did setting off the bomb do then?). You could hate that there was some angle, some aspect of purgatory that made it's way into the final resolution of the show despite what you felt was an iron-clad promise made by the creators that such a thing would never happen. Those are completely justifiable, completely warranted gripes and complaints that you could levy after having spent 6 years trying to wrap this all up in your mind. I totally get it, it's fair. I don't think it's "wrong" that you feel that way. I just feel sorry for you.
Why? Well because last night I felt moved emotionally and spiritually in a way that I literally have never felt moved by any piece of popular culture. Because I felt closer to my wife and friends and closer to my religious beliefs. Because to me, in terms of the show's finale, what mattered in the end was really what I said mattered: they completed these characters. Even the little notes (the joke about Christian Shepherd's name, the fact that Hurley did become the island protector, the reunification of all couples) were so spot on. To me, this final episode was never about what absolutely had to be in there or not in there. It was about how I had to feel. And I felt that way...oh boy did I ever.
If the producers and creators of this masterpiece of a series failed in any regard, I believe firmly it was not a failure to commit to film the exact story they wanted to tell. Their failure was, at times, to be too ambitious and all-encompassing in their storytelling method. Their willingness to follow Dharma as long as they did to more-or-less pad the series accidentally led to something crazy: it was so beloved, so popular, that somehow a plot device took on a life of its own. The writers failed to firmly reign in little loose ends that they knew wouldn't matter in the end. That was a little mistake, as some people couldn't "move on" from them, if you will. I am willing to allow a few missteps to be made in crafting a piece of art 120 hours long. What I'm saying is this: there are going to be two kinds of people who watched all of "Lost." There's the "yeah, but what about Walt" group. And there's the group who will consider this the best, most moving, most thoughtful television show in history. If you're in the former group...hey, it's been a hell of a ride, right? Like Ben, you're going to be sitting outside the church, still working things out. I love you all the same. If you're in the latter group, come on inside. We've been waiting for you.
I'm going to break down this finale just like I do all the other episodes, then I'm going to allow a few days to pass before really tackling things again. Feel free to share thoughts and concerns, we don't have to stop that just because the show is over.
What I liked
I could really do this in an infinite number of parts, but let's do this a little different. The show had two parts, really. Let's look at them.
The Island
I loved how there was a literal cork keeping hell out. I just loved it. It was Eden or the point of creation or something of that nature. Removing the cork let the light escape and let the darkness in. If there's no light, neither of the island's protected protectors had any power. They were just human for a moment. Thus, the epic fight began...and ooooh did I love that epic fight. Maybe my favorite action sequence in "Lost" ever: Jack jump punching as they cut to commercial. I squealed on that one. That brutal battle. That look of confusion on the Man in Black's face as he couldn't figure out what had happened. Priceless. Then you get to the ultra-classic sequence that will resonate for years and years in my mind. Jack surrendering the island to Hurley, Hurley taking Ben as his number 2. Let's face facts, that was a love letter to the fans and nothing more. Two beloved characters: One finally getting the only thing he's ever wanted (Ben, who just wanted to matter) and the other finally realizing that his special ability to love others and spread kindness wasn't just a small trait, it was a huge. The island mattered. If you care about the mythology of the show, the actual events that transpired, they were brought to a conclusion. The threat to the island was extinguished when Jack killed the Man in Black. Widmore is dead, the island was purged of people who were trying to do it harm...heck, it was purged of its people period. It had a chance to start over. So Eden or "the source" or whatever you want to call it went through its greatest period of challenge to the "light" that it puts out into the universe, and Jack and his friends overcame it. Oh, bonus points for Kate putting the bullet into Flocke. She did matter, huh.
The Sideways
This is where it gets tricky. Mind you, I am still not wild about the sloppy storytelling (the whole Kate and Claire episode), but I will say this: I get why they did what they did with it. Yeah, it was purgatory. It was a holding area for people who loved each other to gather, waiting for each other to finally be able to move on from the shackles of a human existence to something bigger, something better. Just like The Matrix, even though these people tried to create for themselves a world where they had everything they wanted (Kate wasn't guilty of that crime, Sawyer never killed the wrong man and was on the right side of the law, Jack had a son who loved him, Desmond had the respect of Widmore, Charlie was a rock star, Claire still had her baby, Sayid saw that Nadia was still alive, Sun and Jin had each other, Hurley was lucky, Locke had his girl and so on for others I've forgotten), they couldn't make it feel "right." It's like Agent Smith said to Morpheus in The Matrix, when the robots tried to create a utopia for the humans, their minds couldn't process it. The sideways was flawed to them. It was a mutually created way to find each other, which is why they kept bumping into each other so much. Remembering that time is totally flexible there, meaning we could have had 5000 years of Hurley and Ben running the island (which I would watch, by the way), they had to wait until the last of them was ready to move on. Jack was the last of them. Of course he was. Even with his journey on the island, he was still a stubborn SOB. Of course he couldn't let go for the longest time. Oh, but when he did...when he reunited with his father (his REAL father) and walked out into that group of people who he loved and who loved him...I hope that's what it's like folks. I hope that when we move on from this mortal world that we're able to find one another. It was pure poetry for me. I cried then when I watched it, and I'm kind of crying now writing this.
Things I didn't like
Chest hair sandwich - Seriously? Why even knock Lapidus on the head on the submarine if he's just going to show up looking ridiculous in time to fix the plane with the weirdest collection of survivors ever? Leave him in the background and for God's sake don't "kill him" only to bring him back.
Ben's under a tree, no wait... - OH NOES?!?!?! BEN IS UNDER THE TREE!?!?!?! Oh, no wait, he seems to be better now. Oopsie daisy in the editing room boys.
Claire lived - How did I never get a Claire death scene? How did I watch this show for 6 years and nobody dropped a tree on her? Seriously?
Man in Black - I will never stop thinking that not knowing the Man in Black's name is the best metaphor for the few major mistakes on the show. Why create a mystery, INTENTIONALLY CREATE A MYSTERY, with (A) no intention of solving it or (B) no idea how to solve it? They should have just given him a name. That they didn't was lame.
Sayid and Shannon - Look, Shannon is a cutie, right? But they spent 6 seasons telling us that all Sayid wanted was Nadia. Then he sees Shannon and his brain gets all borked. He's with SHANNON for all eternity? Eh. I would have had Nadia show up in the church still. I would have had Sayid's "wake-up moment" be seeing the people he saved on the sub, reminding him he died in a noble way. I would have had Boone and Shannon in the church together (not all creepy together, but because they did love each other) and that would have been that. Then again, as mean as they treated Sayid during this last season, maybe they just wanted to reward him by letting him make out with Maggie Grace again.
Answers
The flash sideways is purgatory, but the island was real.
The Man in Black is dead.
What was in the cave was the absolute source, a literal cork.
Desmond's plan was to awaken everybody and move on.
Reflections
Mysteries abound - Look, as much as I'm defending this finale (and the show itself), I'm not saying I won't rush to the season 6 DVD and look at those 20 minutes of additional answers. I want to know things like what was the plan for Walt? What did the bomb do, really? I could go on, but I don't want to linger on that for now. I'm happy now.
Battle lines - So far this morning I have received angry texts, drunken facebook posts, scores of upset tweets, and heard from others who were displeased. I also sat there with my wife saying "God, it was so great," got an incredibly moving email from my cousin, and talked to several friends who thought it was perfect. Welcome to your next few months (maybe years) of talking to people who watched this show. Unlike "Battlestar Galactica," which I briefly thought I liked until my friend Andrew pointed out how bad it was, I know that I will staunchly defend this finale and this show forever. I adored it. I felt so good about the ending that I couldn't imagine anything in its place. So, I welcome the challenge. Let's talk it up. If you are on the other side of the line, that's fine. We'll chat about it. It's the gift that keeps giving. Remember this: No truly great work of art is universally embraced. That's just now how it works. Great works of art are divisive.
I would say that I'm sad right now that this is my last official "Lost" post. I'm not. I feel good, whole somehow. This episode was my favorite in the show's history. How did they get that so right? They really did nail the landing. I give it an A+. For real. I mean it, I want this to continue. I want to keep talking about this whenever you want. I'll look for comments here today and I'll post something soon about deeper thoughts upon reflection. For now, just know that I still feel how I did when I started writing this. I feel sorry for people who didn't love it. I wish you felt like I do right now.
Sayid (Can't) Kill Someone and Other "Lost" Predictions
Let's really roll around in this a little, shall we? If you're here reading this, you love "Lost" like Brick from Anchorman loves lamp...but our lamp goes out for good on Sunday night. Thus, let's start things off with some laughs.
First up is a hip-hop tribute I found rather clever.
"Now like Sun I need some gin" that's great. Continuing the funny, we have the sporadically hilarious Sarah Silverman's interview with the producers. There's some salty language, but you can handle it.
Best line in that one hands down: "I couldn't help but notice that you're both huge f**king nerds."
Okay, even raunchier STILL (seriously, there's lots of discussion of island ugly-bumping...you've been warned). Really, really NSFW. Also, totally hilarious. It's comedian Sarah Benincasa, who I adore, recapping "Lost" without ever watching it. She rips on the show a lot, but it's totally hilarious. Seriously, though, really offensive in its abject hilarity.
When she said "then there's the others...which are...um...black people. And everyone else is afraid of them"...I thought I was going pee. Now that's funny.
Last but not least, Michael Emerson pronouncing everyday words creepy.
I will never again think of blue eyes in the same way.
Okay, so now you're laughing. Here comes the pain. By Monday, we'll never watch another new episode of "Lost" again. Deep breaths, it's going to be okay. Fine, it's going to be okay-ish. I don't want to spend too much time TODAY lamenting and wailing and gnashing teeth about the absence of the greatest scripted show in television history. That's for Monday's reaction column, which will be the first blog to ever taste like tears.
Today, I want to share with you two stories and then some predictions. The first story is a very personal one. Those of you who are Facebook friends with me have seen constant posts from James Syrek, "Cousin Jimmy," as I often call him to friends. When I lived in Illinois in the fifth and sixth grades, he and I were tight like Troy and Abed. Because life is stupid at times and for what can only be described as "for no good reason whatsoever," Jimmy and I fell out of touch. Then, at some point, we both simultaneously realized that we're super-nutso-bonkers for this show. We started sending emails every once and awhile...then started commenting during live episodes...then started sharing thoughts daily and generally freaking out together. Oh yeah, and we also started talking about other things. Before I knew it, a decade of pointless separation melted away. I've talked before about what "Lost" meant to me when the show started, coming at a really transitional point in my life. It also is the reason I have an old friend back. So, say it's just a TV show all you want to. You're right. It is. But it's also way more than that.
The second story is about my dad. Dad doesn't much get excited about a lot of television or movies, unless things explode. Then he'll watch it and say it was okay. Dad loves "Lost" and has from the first episode. He found out a few days ago that he had a meeting slated to run Sunday night from 7-9. Figuring that was life, he thought he'd DVR it and watch it Monday. Only...he's got to go out of town on Monday. Okay, fine, Tuesday. Well, Tuesday we're doing a get together for my birthday. Wednesday is another out of town trip. So Dad did what anyone would do. He moved his entire work schedule around so that he can race home on Sunday and be home just in time for the episode itself to begin at 8. This is a grown man with a job and meetings and such rearranging his life to get home in time for a TV show. I love it.
Okay, before we get started into the predictions for this, I have some people to thank for these. I'd like to call this "mad shout-out time." In no particular order (I mean that): To Cameron, thanks for all the constant commenting, theorizing, and idea sharing. To Andrew and Jess, thanks for the longest discussion I've ever had on "Lost" (even if it dovetailed to you being SOOOOO wrong about the dominant musical movement of the 90s) and for everything. To Jason and Heather, fellow participants in said longest discussion ever, thanks for ramping my excitement up and for your great attention to burning corpses. To the Hastings watch group, you made every tournament fun, and thanks for commenting! To Lynnette, serious thank you for the prediction I'll make in a minute regarding how to dispose of a smoke monster. To James, thanks for the awesome "sideways saves all" theory that will be discussed below and for, you know, all the countless conversations. To Abbie, thanks for enduring my obsession and actually joining in it (and for, you know, everything else in life). To every family member, friend, or ally I've forgotten, I love you guys and love how much we all love this show.
Okay, before I lose the will to type this. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you:
MY FINAL PREDICTIONS TO EVER BE TERRIBLY WRONG FOR "THE END."
1.) Kill it with fire - Talk about how things come together. My friend, Heather, was discussing waaaay back in January how she thought there was significance to bodies being burned. Lo and behold, Jake tells everybody very explicitly around the creepiest soylent green fire ever that once those flames die, he does too. Combine this with my friend Lynnette's reminder that the producers sure did hammer us over the head with Adam and Eve's skeletons again...and you get how I think they will try to kill Smokey. I think that Jack, downloaded with the power of the holy island spirit, has come to this conclusion. I think he'll send Kate, Hurley, and Sawyer to go dispose of said skeleton while he heads Smokey off before he can arrive at the light source. Of course, I don't think he's going to be successful in staving him off forever, but what we'll have is a "race to the finish" to see what happens first.
2.) Sharing is good - When the creepy mother person said that there's a little of that island "source light" in everybody, I think she may have given a clue as to what the finale may hold. Doc Jensen noticed this as well, and the theory holds that Jack will not be forced to remain the island's protector in perpetuity. Rather, he will decide that the best way to protect the light is to share it on a grander scale. I think he's going to find a way to share this with everyone. It sounds all fluffy and whatnot, but if done well it could be really powerful. There is a large, vocal contingency that feels Jack was given the throne a little early to have him keep it. I disagree, but this may be a way to give us a more happy ending. Of course, having typed that, I now disagree with myself. So, I'm calling bull on my own prediction having just made it.
3.) Desmond-splosion! - So help me God if they brought Des back just to have another purple flash in the sky... My theory is this: Jack loses his struggle with the Man in Black. Desmond gets involved to give the gang at the skeletons just enough time to get the burning over with. I want to see something really crazy and unexpected for the finale, something like Desmond fighting the Man in Black in various realities at the same time, unloading some crazy electromagnetic energy on him Return of the Jedi style, or at least going supernova (without the wimpy purple sky). I so badly want this build-up of Desmond's importance to be really paid off. Somehow, I have this feeling it's going to be like the "war" we never got. I sound angry, but I'm not. Honest. I'm just realistic.
4.) Crisis on infinite earths - Knock on wood but 2 days from the finale I remain spoiler free. The only thing I've let myself hear are brief things like the producers saying "the last 2 and a half hours will change the way you see the entire series." I like that. Especially because I think there's a neat trick they can do with it. What if what we've been seeing since the first episode hasn't been centered in one universe but MANY universes. What if the flashbacks weren't always in one reality, but many realities. We keep thinking that either the flash sideways OR the island time will survive...but what if they both are very much real. What if we've been floating around all sorts of realities? I personally like this a lot.
5.) Sideways to the rescue- I don't know how, but I agree with my cousin when he suggested that the sideways gang with Desmond as Hannibal from "The A-Team" is going to somehow save the island when the island fails in that reality. How, I don't know, but I'm guessing it has something to do with the underwater island. Where did the light go? Is it out in that world? Tough to say. I like that I'm in the dark on this one because I feel like there's a little life left in this march to the finish. I hope the sideways is a massive payoff that makes us all feel stupid for loathing it.
Okay. That's it. That's all of my predictions for the finale. I know they're meager, but I want to be surprised so I think I'm semi-shutting my brain off for now. I want to kick it into high gear once the show starts, but I really want to enjoy this experience. For those who didn't see, apparently the producers are going to include a little 20 minute segment on the DVD of the sixth season explaining a few loose ends they "didn't have time for." On the one hand, cool. On the other, "didn't have time for?" Weren't you douchebags the ones who set your own timeline? Uh, why didn't you just finish it in the regular season. Let me help you: cut out the second episode of this season and you have enough time to get to everything. Sorry.
Enough complaining! I'm going to seriously banish every complaint and criticism for now. When the show is over, some time after it's over, I will look back as critically as possible and pass grander judgment. For now, I'm going to kick back and enjoy a moment 6 years in the making. Share it with people you love and share it here.
Speak now or forever hold your piece, if you have a prediction...it's now or never.
Talk to the Flocke: Reactions to the "Lost" Episode "What They Died For"
First off, did we really ever answer what they died for? Did I blink and miss it? I mean, I heard Jacob say "Come sit down and I'll tell you what they died for" right before they went to a commercial break that, I shit you not, was welcomed by a death scream by yours truly. That was like being woken up with an ice pick. So, I'm not even being sarcastic here, I need to know if I was so overwhelmed by the moment that I've been waiting for for at least 5 years (involving Jack...we'll get there) or so blown away by the fact that I was FULL-ON engaged with the flash sideways world for the first time that I totally blanked on "what they died for." You're going to need to remind me if I did. I must have suffered some kind of temporary amnesia that can only be rectified by reuniting me with a long-lost loved one as we may or may not be about to be electrocuted, provided there's a hairy-chested useless dude around to say something like "Looks like somebody remembered important happenings from last night's episode" while smirking.
In case you couldn't tell by my jaunty attitude and flippant remarks, last night's episode was a slam-dunk for me. It was hands down my favorite episode of the season, as for the first time from start to finish I really don't have a single complaint. I'm sure I'll think of one, because I'd hate to leave a whole column blank.
Before we dive in, two things: (1) They answered a key question that I'd been tossing around for awhile now with various people without really drawing our attention to it (YAY FOR RESTRAINT ON THE PART OF THE WRITERS). Remember how Jacob's "people" committed the purge? Well for a long time, I couldn't figure out how that would ever be warranted, how GENOCIDE could ever be supported by the "good guy." Well, we know now that the Dharma peeps were getting close to the island's heart light (thanks Neil Diamond) and had to be stopped. It's not the best way to do things, perhaps, but remember that they had specific places they were told they couldn't go. They past them and were killed, just like the nameless Mother protector of the island did to the people the Man in Black was with. Yay for answers! (2) A friend of mine sent me a link to a site that had nothing but clips of Claire yelling about her "BAHYBEE" and "CHARLEEE." You should go here and laugh a lot.
I'm still angry at Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse for their attitude and decisions recently (Evangeline, show them my rage).
But this episode represented all that is "Lost" to me in a nutshell. People will disagree and tell me I'm exaggerating, but I mean this. Because of the work that it did bringing me back in for the finale, because of the moment it had with Jack, because it was perhaps the best paced episode in the show's history, I'm going to say it: This episode makes my top 5 all time for the show. Ya-boo baby, I loved it. So, let's get into some specifics and let me see if I can convince you of its greatness.
Things I liked
Jack the hero - Wow. I am man enough to tell you that I got seriously choked up during Jack's willingness to stand up and declare his commitment to the island. That last test, when he said "This is what I'm meant to do" and Jacob asked "Was that a question" and Jack shook his head no...wow. Without knowing it was a life sentence (really, a many-life sentence) to protect the island, Jack has come to know that he is meant for something great. For all the missteps that the show has taken at times, it has presented a meaningful character who has truly evolved as the show went on. Props to Matthew Fox and all the writers for really making a sincerely worthy flawed hero. I hope he gets an Emmy nomination for this one.
Jacob the vanishing - Now, I don't know the ins and outs of how and why Jacob needed to burn the last of the ash to be fully dead. My theory about the kid is that it was, in fact, Jacob as a young kid. He was, in fact, being resurrected to take over again. At least, that's how I read it. I understood that the boy was Jacob aging back to Jacob age again, and that had he not burned his ashes and picked a successor, he would have been doomed to come back again and again. In fact, I think he gambled. I think had the fire burned out, he would have been gone with no protector on the island. He knew the time was right to go and that Jack would step up. Thing is, unlike the Man in Black, he didn't want to simply die or go home for the sake of being freed, we found out that Jacob has been looking for penance for his mistake. Using the cork metaphor, Jacob went from being the island protector to being the guy charged with keeping a monster he created there. For a long time, I think we thought of those two tasks as one and the same. They aren't. I think the island needed protecting, but Jacob MADE IT so that there was an evil on that island by what he did to his brother. Now they need to kill the bastard so that both brothers can rest. Here's hoping we don't get a ghost version of the two of them standing there playing a game like Anakin and Yoda playing Dejarik.
Sideways the interesting - How was I suddenly captivated by the sideways? Oh, right, because I can watch Ben do anything...because it felt like things were happening...because DESMOND WAS THE MAN! Seriously, how could you not enjoy the exploits of Desmond the enlightened as he set things into motion. Plus, Ben got his face beat in again. Now that's a "Lost" theme I missed. I loved the way things finally came together, that Hurley was totally, 100% in-the-know now, and that Jack and Locke are going to have to go through this last part together. I love it. I will say that I'm pretty confused as to what Desmond's plan is. What does "let go" mean? It sure seems like he doesn't mean let go of the island timeline, as he's reminding them of it. Does that mean they have to let go of this sideways world? I'm fascinated now. This doesn't forgive them making these sideways stories boring as hell for months, but this is interesting at the right time.
Ben the killer - Oh, I loved Ben's redemption. For the record, I think he's still on the side of the angels in this. Nobody said that him accepting his place and wanting to help people meant he had to forgive Charles Widmore for indirectly murdering his daughter. I loved that we got Widmore's intent revealed. He WAS out for the island for the wrong reasons. Then Jacob said he had to help and he believed him. I buy that. I also buy that Ben can still be a good guy doing good things but had to kill Widmore for all he had done. Redemption doesn't mean you're a saint. I love nasty Ben and it was nice to see him one more time. I will say that flash sideways Ben reminded me that I need to follow Michael Emerson in whatever his next project is. I could watch him in a romantic comedy, I swear to you. I could watch him do anything. Those moments with Danielle were just great. Also, weird prediction, I think he's going to be a problem when it comes time to "let go" because he so deeply loves what's happening in that alternate reality.
I really could go on and on here. I could go on about how much I loved the frantic pace of the episode, how it spelled out exactly what it is they need to do from here on the island (they have to kill Smokey), how Sawyer apologized, how Kate grabbed Jack's hand while stitching her up and leaned her head on Sawyer's shoulder a scene later, how Jacob reminded everyone to stop bitching about their lives being mucked up since they were crap, how he explained Kate's name on the wall being crossed out (don't bitch, it was a great explanation). I could go on and on and on. This was in some ways The Empire Strikes Back episode of "Lost" to me. The show had to put the worst case scenario forward (only instead of being captured in carbonite, their friends were dead), it had to set up the stage for the final conflict, and it had to move briskly as the middle piece. It was damn near perfect.
Things I didn't like
I thought Richard deserved better. Widmore didn't, but Richard did. They could have at least showed his body.
Answers
Jack is the new island protector - To all of you who said Jack wouldn't be the choice: Nanny. Nanny. Boo. Boo. It may be obvious, but it was also earned. There are some out there saying he may not STAY the protector for long. You may be right. I just want it on record that he was "the one."
The boy is Jacob - We DEFINITELY know that now.
Widmore's intent - He was good, then he was bad, then he was good again. Now he's dead. Sadface.
Desmond ain't killin - How he knew Locke wouldn't DIE when he ran him over, I'll never know. But we can now confirm he wasn't trying to kill Locke but help him "let go."
Kate's name - She was a candidate! She was only crossed off because she was a mother.
Chosen for a reason - Presumably everyone brought to the island was brought there as a potential replacement, but only one stuck. They were all chosen because their lives were flawed but they had great promise. I like this.
There may be more, but I don't remember. Help a brother out.
Reflections Killing in the name of - Hey, you know what would have helped our heroes out...if Jacob mentioned how they could kill the MiB (oh, AND HIS FRIGGIN' NAME). I like that this is the plan, but I have no idea how it will be achieved. My gut says that all they can really do is try to send the MiB into the cave one more time, but I'm not sure that will work. Other than that, who knows yo. Jack the mighty - "Now you're like me." Whoa. Are we going to see Jack zapping around in the past touching people? Are we going to see him with crazy powers on the island now? He can make people live forever...is he going to touch Kate? I know I would touch Kate. Yes, I meant that exactly how it sounded. Sideways convergence - I could not be more excited to see where Desmond's plan leads. Also, I can't wait until we see him on the island again. Where is he? He's the "fail safe?" Will he explode then? I'm guessing that him being "immune to electromagnetism" means that when Smokey goes Smokey he can't hurt Desmond. I like this. I can't wait to see this play out.
Okay, so I give the episode an A. A straight-up awesome A. Now for some housekeeping. I'll be back on Friday to this subject, giving predictions for the end of "Lost." Then, on Monday, I'll be wrapping things up. We'll revisit this from time to time, it's not going to end here. Let's just all rejoice in the fact that this finale seems to be poised to deliver exactly what I wanted. I honestly can't remember a ton of questions I still want addressed, so they've hidden that well. I mean, other than the whole "why, God, why do you think it's cool to hide the Man in Black's name" question. Anyway. Get to discussin' folks, time is short!
Sayid (can't) Kill Someone and Other "Lost" Predictions
Sigh.
This is the last week of "Lost."
The sigh is actually because of a rather sad fact...a fact that may be sadder to me than the show's disappearance from my life. Because of last week's episode...I think I'm okay with this being the last week of "Lost." I know, I know, I've had so much fun that I can't imagine wanting this to stop here. I've loved so much the community that has built up on this blog over the last year, and I'll miss so much of what surrounds this show. Promise me you'll still call and write...promise me you weren't just using me for my incredibly inaccurate predictions.
That said, after the soul-crushing disappointment of last week (particularly the flippant, asshole-ish response from an unnecessarily sensitive Damon Lindelof, who said "so we're sorry if you don't like the fact that you don't get the Man in Black's name, but you don't get it"), I'm more ready at this point than I thought I'd be. As I said last week, I unlocked the rubicon of why it is the producers/creators don't give us what we want. It's not just that they don't actually have it figured out that far, it's that they think they are satisfying us with their "questions that beg more questions" schtick. My favorite was the producers saying at a live get-together last week that the line from "the Mother" in last week's episode that specifically said "every question you ask will only lead to another" was directed for the audience. First off, let me say on behalf of everyone, "a-duh." WE GOT THAT REFERENCE. We're not a legion of 10-year-olds, something I'm beginning to suspect these guys believe. Second, you are not explaining the origin of man's purpose. You're not even 2001 or Citizen Kane here. You're a sci-fi/fantasy TV show that's known it was finishing for 3 years. That means that if you average 16 episodes a season at 44 minutes without commercials an episode, you've had a little more than 35 hours to complete your tale. Sorry, but I am officially calling squadoosh on your bullpuckey about time constraints, and on your load of crap regarding "every question leads to another" dookie. Here's the truth: You thought we'd love what you gave us and you don't want to risk giving us an actual answer to some of these things. Plus, you make mysteries out of things that don't have to be. If there's no significance to the MiB's name, why not just give it to us up front. It's not symbolic to hold it back. It's being a douche.
That said, here's a promise. This is the last week of "Lost" and I don't want to spend it being bitter. I will freely discuss reactions to individual events and moments in the episode, but I hereby renounce my anger and negativity towards the creators and writers. I'm letting it go. I've voiced my concerns, I am ready to move on. I want to...no, I HAVE to at the very least ENJOY these last few hours. I'm going to put my best foot forward and try to do that. Are you with me? To lighten the mood, I read about how George Lucas sent a letter to the creators that was read during the live event I mentioned above. The joke was that both Lucas and the "Lost" boys didn't know how their stories were going to end. His advice was "pretend you've planned the whole thing out in advance." That's funny.
Okay, before we go on, here are several more interesting and cool items of "Lost" merch for you to look at (and for one of you to buy...you know who you are).
Finally, you can go to Teefury.com and buy their latest only-available-for-a-day-$9-"Lost"-shirt.
Now that's a nerd shirt.
Okay, tonight's episode has actually already screened for live audiences. I have, as always, refused to hear anything about it. The only thing I heard was a general statement from someone who was disappointed by the last episode who says this one is good. I hope so. God, I hope so.
Let's get into the last predictions I'll ever make for a regular episode of "Lost." Here are my thoughts on "What They Died For."
1.) Falling sideways - I think we get our first real answers about the sideways world this week. I'm guessing Desmond is back in that world and that he begins to reveal some of his motivation behind "waking them up" beyond "hey, isn't it cool we all were in that plane together?!" As I mentioned last week, I'm reversing my position from the original "the island world is the final destination" to "the sideways world is where everyone will end up." I was wrong. There's just no way that they're going to let everybody die like crazy and keep it that way. I'll have to see how it's handled before I pass judgment, because it does feel a bit like all the stuff we watched for the last 6 years don't "really" matter if everyone ends up okay in the other world. Still, I'm a sucker for a well done happy ending, especially when I invested 6 years in something.
2.) Jack makes a plan?!?! - I would really love nothing more than for the true transformation of Jack's character to be shown in the most hilarious way ever: He finally has a plan that works. By my count, Jack has crafted 1,217 plans that have ended poorly, ranging from minor oopsies to entire universe destroying bomb explosions. It would be great if he finally came up with a plan that worked, right? My guess: It starts with "We have to get Desmond from the well." This is actually correct. Using last week's abomination as a guide, if electromagnetism is just a scientific word for the "light" that the nameless-for-no-reason Mother and nameless-for-no-reason Man in Black talked about, then Desmond was bathed in something holy and powerful. He is, for lack of a better term, God-like now. Right? So, Jack's plan to hide behind Desmond will not only work, it will work INCREDIBLY well.
3.) Kid and play - I was surprised that more people weren't squawking about how the kid from the island who is magically aging was totally little Jacob. This means that there is some kind of regeneration going on. This is interesting because the kid should be much older by now. I think we see him again this week, and I think he taunts the MiB a little bit. Plus, I think Jacob is about ready to make another appearance to Hurley. As sad as our favorite chub was last week, I think he needs a little reassurance. I will say that I agree with my cousin, James, after last week. Jacob was kind of a douche all the way in the past until now. He may be more "right" than the other guy, but he's still kind of an ass pickle.
4.) Death comes for another - Again, this is not based on a spoiler but on a hunch. I have this terrible fear that I'm losing Evangeline Lilly from the island proper this week. Sure, she's already been shot once and lived, which is usually a sign she'll keep living for awhile, but there's only one episode left after tonight and I really think that she's going to be sacrificed somehow. If it's not her, it may well be Sawyer. I don't know what else that guy has to do now. We all know Jack is playing the final hero role, so what does the minor hero have left to do? This is also a good time to point out that they never finished the love triangle. I don't care, really, but they set it up for 5 years without really paying it off. Kate was kind of with Jack and still loves him mostly, but still kind of loves Sawyer, who still kind of loves her but mostly loves Juliet who is dead. It just sort of stopped, not came to a conclusion. Lame.
5.) Endgame, revealed! - God how I miss the obligatory Sayid spot. Okay, final prediction, I think that we find out what Widmore wants this week and it sets up our real endgame. It's going to be Jack versus MiB AND Widmore, who aren't working together at all but are both working against the good of the island. I think we're right in assuming that Ben told the truth about Widmore wanting the island for his own purpose. So both he and the MiB are working against what Jack's purpose is now. So he has to beat not one, but two assholes. Good luck, Jack. At least you have help. What do I mean? Richard and Ben have been MIA for awhile now...I think they come back to help tonight. Oh Lord, could Ben die tonight? Please...no...nooooooooo.
Okay gang, it's now or never...predict away! Let your voices be heard!
Talk to the Flocke: Reactions to the "Lost" episode "Across the Sea"
Well, son of a bitch. That didn't quite go how I figured, now did it? Here's what last night's episode taught me, and I mean this without any semblance of sarcasm: Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse do not understand what an answer is.
To us, their loyal and often insanely frustrated viewers, an answer is the end point of a line of questioning. It's not, under any circumstances, providing something that instantly begs another question. For example, you do not answer "who set up the rules for the battle between Jacob and the Man in Black" with "Some crazy woman who isn't really their mom who was already on the island." We're going to have a few more questions there. "Why can't they hurt each other?" Oh "Because their mom made it so they couldn't." Really? Why? How can she do that? Who is she? I doubt in the remaining 2 hours we find that out. So congrats on "answering" things with more questions. We should have seen this coming when we got the "answers" to the numbers. The "answer" was "They're the numbers assigned to the six remaining candidates." Oh, well then how the hell do they have magic powers? How does assigning those numbers make Hurley win the lottery? Is it coincidence? The reply from the creators/producers on this matter was, "we don't want to ruin the magic by explaining away everything." I see, said the blind man...
What I'm saying is this: They think episodes like "Across the Sea" ARE answering things. They think they're doing a good, satisfying job and that they're revealing things to us. They do not realize that most of us are pulling our hair out after some of these "answers." More frustrating still is when they decide they really want us to get something. That final sequence showing the "Adam and Eve" answer was perhaps the single most insulting thing the show has done. Not because I didn't like the answer. Actually, that was my favorite part. No, but because they were seemingly so afraid that we wouldn't remember or grasp that these two were Adam and Eve to the point that they constantly intercut the two scenes (the discovery by our 815 people and the burial by Jacob). What. The. Hell? I mean, if you wanted to show a brief clip, that would be fine by me. It would be almost poignant. But to do the back and forth as if someone is standing there going "get it? GET IT?!" Oy vey.
I wanted to like this episode so much. On some levels, I really did. But overall it just didn't do the very heavy lifting it had to do and fans are, I think, pretty mad. It sure wasn't the overwhelming move towards brilliance I had been praying for. Instead what we got was a strange, messy little episode. Oh, one more note, although how something ends is important, it's not the entire determinant of whether or not something is great. What I mean is, if I listen to a beautiful song but I hate the last note, it's still a great song. I fear that "Lost" is slowly hitting some wrong notes at the end here. That doesn't mean I won't have loved this ride.
Things I liked
CJ, is that you? - Despite the fact that her very existence makes my brain hurt, I loved the performance of Allison Janney in this episode. Her crazy, brutal mom/goddess thing was really intriguing and represented a high-wire act as far as acting goes. If she goes too far, she's Mrs. Hawkings in her later episodes, all chewing scenery and acting stupid (oh, and by the way, did you notice her "it's not time yet" line mirrored Mrs. Hawking's note to Desmond...interesting). Instead, she was able to make the totally bizarre sound like it was coming from someone who totally accepted what she was saying. I believed it because it sounded like she did. Nice work, CJ from "The West Wing." I still love you.
Smokey's transformation - Although I would have loved to see the smoke pour out and rain down fury upon the people the Man in Black had been forced to live with, instead of the weird assertion that his mother somehow killed all those people, I did like the scene of him floating down the stream into the light that made him dark. That was cool.
The sympathy vote - I like that we are still able to feel for the Man in Black. The last few episodes have made us loathe him so much that we put to rest the "good guy/bad guy" theories pretty handily. I think this made a clear point: The person who was the Man in Black before he became Smokey was actually a pretty good guy whose mother was murdered and who felt betrayed. Perhaps the best writing in the show this season is that we're able to simultaneously pity and hate this character. That's a nice job.
The light itself - I knew they would blend the "light" with the "electromagnetism." I totally called this. It was the only way to weave together the science and faith of the show. I actually like it. See, it's okay for me to have the answer of what makes the island so powerful and magic simply be the mom's response that "this is the source." I like that. It is Eden, even if it isn't called Eden and isn't Eden literally. I buy that whatever "light" or "force" that she says is strongly there and yet is present in all of us to a degree can't really be defined but that science chooses to see it as "electromagnetism." I'm okay with that as an answer. I don't need to know where the tunnel takes you or what happens inside there. I like the idea that we, as humans, couldn't even comprehend it. That was cool with me.
What I didn't like
The pace - Again. These sons of bitches still haven't figured out how to make a compelling stretch of 44 minutes consistently. Sometimes they get it, but most often it moves in fits and starts. I think that they could have condensed all of the events in this entire episode to the first half hour. Really, I do. I think they then could have dropped in on Jacob and the Man in Black throughout the centuries for a lot of fun. Missed opportunity based on heavy handed writing. My gut tells me this is Carlton Cuse at work, because I've seen other things and read other things from Lindelof that had more movement. Bad, Carlton. Bad.
What's in a name INDEED? - If it turns out that Jacob's brother's name is Fred, I'm going to stab someone. In an episode in which there are really only 3 characters, only one person's name gets used...and it gets used so frequently that it's maddening. Everyone wants to yell Jacob, but nobody says the other brother's name? Does he not have a name? Are you kidding me? It better be revelatory. It better be so important that when we hear it we are instantly floored. If this name happens to be some throwaway thing, then this is the most maddening decision they've made in awhile.
The dialogue was, at times downright Lucas-ian - Dare I say it? Everyone spoke as though they were auditioning for a role in Star Wars Episode 7. Nobody spoke like they were people. I get that these characters have significance and whatnot, that they are not "normal people" per se, but come the frak on. This dialogue was so "on the nose" that each of them may as well have been wearing Groucho Marx glasses.
The lack of payoff - This is the big one, right? We still don't get what the game is these two are playing, what the rules are, how other people are involved in the game, what the stakes are, exactly how long it's been going on for, who they really are, and so on and so on. We got little answers, yes...but this was supposed to be the one where the pinata broke and all the truth spilled out. So much for that, huh?
Answers
The kid is Jacob - By virtue of using the same kid as an actor, we can now conclude that the boy appearing to Flocke on the island is Jacob.
Jacob and the Man in Black are twin brothers - We don't know who their mom is or where they really came from, but we know they are brothers.
Adam and Eve aren't married - They weren't lovers, they were quasi-mom and son. It was the Man in Black and his pseudo-mother.
The light is the source of the island's power - The nature of this light remains a mystery, but that's the origin of the powers.
Smokey became smokey by light - I get this, actually. See what I think happened is that the Man in Black went in as a person...and all of that person stuff was stripped away and killed. I think that all that's left now is his dark soul. His body died but because of whatever his wacky momma did, he can't "die." So now he's left as this monstrous, bodyless, angry soul that is all evil. All the light that was left in him is gone to stay in the light hole. I'm not saying it makes a ton of sense, but this is what I think happened.
Reflections
The more things change... - We still don't know what the stakes of the game are, where these two came from, what their powers are, when they decided to gamble with human lives, what happens when and if Flocke gets off the island, why bodies have to be dead for Smokey to look like them, and so on and so on. The legacy of this episode will forever be missed opportunities.
Weight-less - The worst part is this: As much as they made me care about the Man in Black here, despite not giving us his stupid name, I don't know squadoosh about Jacob. If he is the role that our hero, Jack, is going to step in to, I need to care more about him.
Locke tight - Did anybody else forget that Locke was there when they found Adam and Eve. Interesting, no? I now totally believe that we're going to be left with Jack and Locke on that island. Whether its the Man in Black or not, I don't know.
Where do we go now? - Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the next few hours will build on these revelations into something incredible. Maybe we WILL find out things that I've been asking throughout this post. It's possible. Did anyone else notice that the emphasis on wells and their connection to the light certainly may have a role with Desmond, who is all "electromagnetized" (another word for "the light") and was pushed in a well? Methinks that will be involved in the ending.
Look, I don't have a good grasp on what happened here or what's going to happen, and that sucks. Unquestionably sucks. I wanted to give this episode an A (maybe an A+). It gets a C. Why? Because what was good was very good and what was bad made me get stabby.
I want better. I want to believe that next week, which is "Lost" week, will include no less than 154 actual minutes (not counting commercials) of brilliant material that ties together the last 6 years. I am just running low on hope. This episode kind of knocked the wind out of me in a bad way. I still love this experience, I'm just not sure about where we're ending up. It's been that kind of week, I guess. My luck is nothing if not bad right now. So, here's hoping I'm wrong.
Sayid (can't) Kill Someone and Other "Lost" Predictions
Sniffle. I had to adjust the title of this prediction column for the first time. Tonight, I for one will be pouring some of whatever beverage I'm sipping on the sidewalk for that Other-killing bad ass, that torturer-with-a-heart-of-gold, that bad-guy-turned-good-guy-turned-bad-guy-turned-good-guy. Sayid...you will be missed. Oh yeah, and Sun and Jin will get a little dribble too, even though they haven't been given anything to do since season 3. At least the column will only have a new title for a few weeks. We all do realize that there's only going to be one more prediction column after this? Okay, fine two. I'll do one on the 18th and one on the 21st (Friday). But that's only because I love you.
Before we get started talking about this episode, which gives me the piss jitters I'm so excited for it (I may or may not have had a dream about it last night, which I will tell you about in my predictions), let me show you this awesome shirt on Teefury.com.
That shirt will only be available TODAY from TeeFury and will run you less than $10. Go to there.
Okay, let's talk about tonight. "Across the Sea" may not be the sexiest title ever, but it may be the episode we've been waiting for (at least since the end of last season). We have good reason to believe that we're going to get some serious, hardcore answers to things like "who are Jacob and the Man in Black," "how did Smokey become, you know, Smokey," "what are 'the rules' that govern them," and "who's the kid?" That is, we will find such things out if they're smart. If they're smart, they will allow us to have the finale be about how these things play out with our characters. You don't really want to end on "answers," because as we've seen, those conversations are boring and apparently involve our beloved characters asking questions like "So you're saying that BLANK is really BLANK?" to which the person being asked the question replies "Yes, that is the answer to that question." That's not how to have a slam bang finale to the show. The key is to settle some of the debate AHEAD of time and allow the finale to breathe. That's my take anyway.
Speaking of my take, last week's writeup was a bit of a Rorschach test. I had several people say to me "I didn't like it either" and others say "Wow, you liked it more than I did" or "I loved it, too." I must have covered my bases pretty well, insofar as everyone seemed to read agreement out of what I was saying. I think my take home thought was this: As much as the run-over-here-no-wait-run-over-there shit was as tiresome as ever, I loved the emotional gut punch that culminated in Hurley bawling and Kate's "I couldn't find you." That said, I believe that the show now has it within itself to finish with a flourish. This episode, next episode (titled "What They Died For"), and the final episode ("The End") should organically compose a big sendoff.
But that begins tonight. This is the hardest predictions I've ever had to make for three reasons: (1) I don't get to automatically have a Sayid prediction, even though he's still "alive" in the sideways, (2) the gravity of this episode, with the Jacob/MiB revelations, makes it way difficult, and (3) I'm trying to enjoy these final hours as much as possible. This means trying to not be a grumpus about every tiny detail. That's hard, yo.
But if this were easy, everybody would do it instead of just the thousands of us who have blogs already. Okay, so it's not exactly plugging an off-shore drilling leak, but you get the idea. Without further ado, it's time to sack up and pump out some predictions for the episode I've been waiting for since I first heard about it months ago.
Predictions for "Across the Sea"
1.) The only angel on the island is Kate - Continuing my "great moments in Evangeline Lilly photos" series... Point is, I don't think that we're going to find out that Jacob or the Man in Black are angels. I think that's still going to be something we can infer, but I don't think that's going to be the answer. I think what we're going to see is that there was once a bunch of people living on the island. Our black/white men were just some of them living there. I think the "electromagnetism" is going to take on some kind of spiritual bend, and I think it's going to be what causes them to be "stuck" on the island. I think they're going to experience "flashes" that show them their roles after exposure to said electromagnetism, which is also going to give them their powers. I think this will allow Desmond's electro-abilities to be what kills the MiB in the end. Why do I think this? Because unless the show wants to literally cast God as a character, they're going to have to rely on some hokey science/religion blend, and electromagnetism has long been the island's "magic sauce." I'm not saying we will like it, but I think this will be the answer.
2.) What's in a name? - One of my favorite "forgotten" questions is whether or not this island has a name. As much as I don't think that Jacob and the MiB are angels, I DO think that they will follow the story of "Jacob wrestling the angel" from the bible in one regard: I think that the MiB's name (much like the angel who was "overcome" in the old testament) will be the same name as the island, whatever that is. Kind of a weird prediction, but it's kind of a weird episode.
3.) As time goes by - I think we're going to get the whole span of these characters. At least, I hope so. I know that they're going to start us out in the far, far, far past. I hope that they show us throughout the years the evolution of this struggle. I hope that we see at least mention of or after-effects from other people who were "pulled to the island." The stakes are so high here. If this whole show has really been about the struggle between these two, then we're going to HAVE to have them as crystal clear characters in our minds for the series finale to work. Thus, I am praying with all my might that they take us on a magical mystery tour throughout the centuries these guys have been "alive." I hope that we build to some of the Dharma era stuff, when we can see what the involvement of some of these characters with other characters actually was. This is probably too much to do in one episode, but I'm hoping this is a nonstop answerfest. A boy can hope, right?
4.) What's at stake - If "Lost" is guilty of one thing above all others, it's overstating things. "A war is coming." "If you don't press the button, the whole world ends." And so on. I want to believe that the stakes are high here. We need to no longer deal with abstract threats of "war" and "destruction." I want them to spell out clearly and directly exactly what things will happen when this bastard gets off this island. What kind of world ruining are we talking about? Does everyone become super evil and start killing each other? Does the entire reality just blink out of existence? What kind of horrible things are we talking about. Of all things, this is one that the creators HAVE to get right if we're going to be totally in on the nature of the final episode. My prediction, officially, is that reality blinks out of existence, allowing for a quantum answer to things as well.
5.) Sayid...er, Smokey kills somebody - What I hope is the best moment of this episode is smokey's transformation. I want to see the first moment when he goes from man to monster...and I want it to be violent. My guess is that the island was once populated, smokey becomes smokey and then everybody but Jacob gets straight-up killed. I want to see a big, grand moment for this. Yes, we've known about "the monster" from the first episode. Now it's time to make that "monster" something epic. For the last season, he's been in the body of John Locke. It's so familiar to us, that it's hard to remember the scope of what's inside said body. Let it out, yo. Let us see that murderous transformation in all its glory.
Okay, enough. I'm so excited I could poop (again). I can't wait to see if this is the episode I think that it can be. I already have it penciled in the short list for my favorite ones ever. Let's hope that's not premature. If you want to be smart, send in YOUR predictions as comments here and look really smart when they come true (or don't). Just don't spoil anything you KNOW for sure, or you'll be stoned to death.
How is it Thursday already? I can hear you now: "It's Thursday because yesterday was Wednesday. A-duh. Didn't your mother ever teach you how to use a calendar? You must be kind of stupid, Ryan." Well, call me old fashioned, but I still believe that telling time is a sin, so I hope all you fancy clockwatching daycounters enjoy your time in hell. Here's what I do know. I know that Thursdays are the days we look at my junk. No, not like a trip to the "special doctor's office." By my "junk" I mean movie tidbits that aren't big enough to warrant their own blog post. We begin each week by looking at the creepy image of a junk drawer that was captured from the nightmare of a child and reprinted in Highlights Magazine (FOR CHILDREN). We select one item from above and make a wacky story about it, because doing so amuses me (and probably no one else). Today's item is the green and red thing in the lower right corner. On the one hand, when Carlos invented the world's first pancreas grown entirely from algae, he was elated. It meant that all those years combining peg fetuses with swamp water wasn't just wasted time. On the other hand, if it could be transplanted into a human, it would likely mean that his mother-in-law would live. Carlos did what anyone would do: He put the pulsating green human/plant organ back into his junk drawer, never to mention his accomplishment to anyone.
Okay, enough weirdness, we have a great show for you tonight, Jay-Z is here, so stick around and we'll be right back.
Here are the top five minor news stories right now:
1.) Muppets + "Lost" = (Sound of Ryan's head popping like a Capri Sun that's improperly poked with a straw) - So...by now you know all about my "Muppet boner," which is maybe the most disgusting and inappropriate way to mention how much I adore the fuzzy creations of Jim Henson that are part nightmare and part pure joy. You also know that my passion for "Lost" may exceed my passion for 99% of humans on this big blue ball. Well if you combine the two, you pretty much just guaranteed I'm not going to get much else done. What you see before you is the merging of two worlds that I can only hope continues. I can only hope that next week I'm showing you a video of Spider-man's guest appearance on "Community" or Evangeline Lilly's surprise cameo in my house. It's rare that things I love merge, so look upon this union of things that are awesome and rejoice.
2.) Mark Millar: Professional Bullshitter - If Mark Millar ever tires of writing comics, he can successfully enter the world of politics, having told yet another in a series of lies that are designed to make him look good. He's like a guy trying to pick up a girl at a bar by telling her he's an astronaut...only it's never closing time and he'll sleep with ANYONE. A recent press release, which you can see at Forces of Geek, states that Kick Ass 2: Balls to the Wall is going to start filming in 2011 for a 2012 release. Sigh, I don't know why I even acknowledge this, but let's quickly deconstruct this so I can go back to thinking about Muppets. (1) - Matthew Vaughn, director of the very incredible Kick Ass, just signed to direct a movie within the next year called X-Men First Class. He's going to be a little busy into 2011. (2) - Christopher Mintz-Plasse, McLovin', is pivotal to the second film (if you've seen the first, you know why). His official Twitter count basically said that Millar is spewing bullshit....again. (3) - Even though I loved the movie, as clear a sign that I can separate the art from the artist if I've ever done it, it wasn't a huge hit. It was a modest hit. I'm guessing if it does well in DVD/Blu-Ray sales, that will be taken into consideration. Plus, I'm guessing you can do the sequel pretty cheap. I don't doubt everyone is INTERESTED in doing this, but it isn't a sure thing yet. In other words, sell your booze-laced, cologne-infused pick-up lines for some other floozy, Millar. This one's not biting.
3.) Dark Tower is finally coming! Booooooo - Even though people have wanted to see Stephen King's "Dark Tower" series is among the most beloved of the author's works, not one of them should be happy about the news that a movie is finally happening. Why? Because the people who now own the rights are Brian Grazer...and Ron Howard. Howard, who has been sliding from mediocrity to outright hackitude for a decade now, is talking about making a movie that would lead into a TV show. In the right hands, I'd say "this is how the material should be handled." In Howard's hand, I say "ruh-roh, Raggy." You just know he's going to invite crapmaster Akiva Goldsman in to write the thing. His writing is so wretched, so irredeemably awful that we'd be best lighting our minds on fire as an alternative to watching something he wrote. Let's just agree to read some books and pretend that this bit of news never happened, mkay?
4.) Emma Stone all the time - News regarding Emma Stone has been coming fast and furious lately. Good. Ever since I saw her in Superbad I knew she would be superhuge. She's got this great gravel voice, kind of looks like an anime girl would look in real life (seriously, her eyes are half of her face), and she has a personality that, goshdurnit, is just infectious.
It's funny that this next bit of news pairs her with Catherine Keener, who has a lot of those same traits (other than the whole anime thing). Keener is, to me, the actress almost all young starlets should pattern their career after. She makes big hits, little indie gems, and is always awesome. The two of them are not going to appear in a film together. But they've both agreed to voice characters in The Croods, another Dreamworks animated film. Unlike some of the other minor works from the studio, this caveman comedy is based on a screenplay in part developed by John Cleese, who white people know from Monty Python (in one of the funniest conversations I've ever heard, a non-white friend of mine mentioned that any time a white dude said something that made another white dude laugh but my friend couldn't understand why, it was always a Monty Python reference). Nicholas Cage and Ryan Reynolds are also voices in there, but Stone's voice will stand out. She's got a perfect voice for such things. Love.
5.) Trailers, Parked - We've got a raunchy killer, a cool killer, and a killer tire for you this week.
First up...what has been dubbed the "illegal" Machete trailer. You remember that this is the movie that sprang from Grindhouse's fake trailer. It has a ton of people in it that are moderately famous (and DeNiro, who just used to be famous), and has a story that gives the middle finger to Arizona's immigration practices before they were even real. Wrap your mind grapes around that one. This one has naughty language in it, but if you're clicking on the trailer for a movie called Machete, you had to kind of figure, right?
George Clooney as an assassin? I could explain The American more than that, but I don't think I have to. Here's the trailer.
This is a movie about a killer tire with mental powers. It's called Rubber and it will now be your new obsession. Yes it's real. Yes it's a killer tire. Enjoy, America.
Okay, that's it for my weekly junk. You can now feel free to move about the cabin.
Yes, the mix of sci-fi and mystery is compelling, but it really comes down to who anchors your show as the lead.
I mean, with a show that's going to be this far on the edge, and given the loyalty that many fans had to "Lost," you're going to need someone that fans can really cling to and hold on to with all their hearts (and minds and other things).
There's no one right answer. I mean, there are so many talented, talented young actresses out there. Let's just say that I'm thrilled that they are not going with another boring, stale old male in the lead. It's nice to have a powerful female character, no matter who plays the part.
The important thing to remember is that it's about what will work best for the show, not what will work best for momentary buzz or short-term attention. Who has the talent to steer a show for 5-6 years?
THAT's the real question, you know? Like does anybody out there that we're familiar with, that these producers in particular are comfortable with, have the ability to really take the first show post-"Lost" from these creators in an exciting direction?
Yes, the mix of sci-fi and mystery is compelling, but it really comes down to who anchors your show as the lead.
I mean, with a show that's going to be this far on the edge, and given the loyalty that many fans had to "Lost," you're going to need someone that fans can really cling to and hold on to with all their hearts (and minds and other things).
There's no one right answer. I mean, there are so many talented, talented young actresses out there. Let's just say that I'm thrilled that they are not going with another boring, stale old male in the lead. It's nice to have a powerful female character, no matter who plays the part.
The important thing to remember is that it's about what will work best for the show, not what will work best for momentary buzz or short-term attention. Who has the talent to steer a show for 5-6 years?
THAT's the real question, you know? Like does anybody out there that we're familiar with, that these producers in particular are comfortable with, have the ability to really take the first show post-"Lost" from these creators in an exciting direction?
