Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Sayid (can't) Kill Someone and Other "Lost" Predictions


This is the last week of "Lost."

The sigh is actually because of a rather sad fact...a fact that may be sadder to me than the show's disappearance from my life. Because of last week's episode...I think I'm okay with this being the last week of "Lost." I know, I know, I've had so much fun that I can't imagine wanting this to stop here. I've loved so much the community that has built up on this blog over the last year, and I'll miss so much of what surrounds this show. Promise me you'll still call and write...promise me you weren't just using me for my incredibly inaccurate predictions.

That said, after the soul-crushing disappointment of last week (particularly the flippant, asshole-ish response from an unnecessarily sensitive Damon Lindelof, who said "so we're sorry if you don't like the fact that you don't get the Man in Black's name, but you don't get it"), I'm more ready at this point than I thought I'd be. As I said last week, I unlocked the rubicon of why it is the producers/creators don't give us what we want. It's not just that they don't actually have it figured out that far, it's that they think they are satisfying us with their "questions that beg more questions" schtick. My favorite was the producers saying at a live get-together last week that the line from "the Mother" in last week's episode that specifically said "every question you ask will only lead to another" was directed for the audience. First off, let me say on behalf of everyone, "a-duh." WE GOT THAT REFERENCE. We're not a legion of 10-year-olds, something I'm beginning to suspect these guys believe. Second, you are not explaining the origin of man's purpose. You're not even 2001 or Citizen Kane here. You're a sci-fi/fantasy TV show that's known it was finishing for 3 years. That means that if you average 16 episodes a season at 44 minutes without commercials an episode, you've had a little more than 35 hours to complete your tale. Sorry, but I am officially calling squadoosh on your bullpuckey about time constraints, and on your load of crap regarding "every question leads to another" dookie. Here's the truth: You thought we'd love what you gave us and you don't want to risk giving us an actual answer to some of these things. Plus, you make mysteries out of things that don't have to be. If there's no significance to the MiB's name, why not just give it to us up front. It's not symbolic to hold it back. It's being a douche.

That said, here's a promise. This is the last week of "Lost" and I don't want to spend it being bitter. I will freely discuss reactions to individual events and moments in the episode, but I hereby renounce my anger and negativity towards the creators and writers. I'm letting it go. I've voiced my concerns, I am ready to move on. I want to...no, I HAVE to at the very least ENJOY these last few hours. I'm going to put my best foot forward and try to do that. Are you with me? To lighten the mood, I read about how George Lucas sent a letter to the creators that was read during the live event I mentioned above. The joke was that both Lucas and the "Lost" boys didn't know how their stories were going to end. His advice was "pretend you've planned the whole thing out in advance." That's funny.

Okay, before we go on, here are several more interesting and cool items of "Lost" merch for you to look at (and for one of you to buy...you know who you are).

These first two are from DamonCarltonAndAPolarBear.com. One's a poster and the other is...you'll see.

Finally, you can go to Teefury.com and buy their latest only-available-for-a-day-$9-"Lost"-shirt.

Now that's a nerd shirt.

Okay, tonight's episode has actually already screened for live audiences. I have, as always, refused to hear anything about it. The only thing I heard was a general statement from someone who was disappointed by the last episode who says this one is good. I hope so. God, I hope so.

Let's get into the last predictions I'll ever make for a regular episode of "Lost." Here are my thoughts on "What They Died For."

1.) Falling sideways - I think we get our first real answers about the sideways world this week. I'm guessing Desmond is back in that world and that he begins to reveal some of his motivation behind "waking them up" beyond "hey, isn't it cool we all were in that plane together?!" As I mentioned last week, I'm reversing my position from the original "the island world is the final destination" to "the sideways world is where everyone will end up." I was wrong. There's just no way that they're going to let everybody die like crazy and keep it that way. I'll have to see how it's handled before I pass judgment, because it does feel a bit like all the stuff we watched for the last 6 years don't "really" matter if everyone ends up okay in the other world. Still, I'm a sucker for a well done happy ending, especially when I invested 6 years in something.

2.) Jack makes a plan?!?! - I would really love nothing more than for the true transformation of Jack's character to be shown in the most hilarious way ever: He finally has a plan that works. By my count, Jack has crafted 1,217 plans that have ended poorly, ranging from minor oopsies to entire universe destroying bomb explosions. It would be great if he finally came up with a plan that worked, right? My guess: It starts with "We have to get Desmond from the well." This is actually correct. Using last week's abomination as a guide, if electromagnetism is just a scientific word for the "light" that the nameless-for-no-reason Mother and nameless-for-no-reason Man in Black talked about, then Desmond was bathed in something holy and powerful. He is, for lack of a better term, God-like now. Right? So, Jack's plan to hide behind Desmond will not only work, it will work INCREDIBLY well.

3.) Kid and play - I was surprised that more people weren't squawking about how the kid from the island who is magically aging was totally little Jacob. This means that there is some kind of regeneration going on. This is interesting because the kid should be much older by now. I think we see him again this week, and I think he taunts the MiB a little bit. Plus, I think Jacob is about ready to make another appearance to Hurley. As sad as our favorite chub was last week, I think he needs a little reassurance. I will say that I agree with my cousin, James, after last week. Jacob was kind of a douche all the way in the past until now. He may be more "right" than the other guy, but he's still kind of an ass pickle.

4.) Death comes for another - Again, this is not based on a spoiler but on a hunch. I have this terrible fear that I'm losing Evangeline Lilly from the island proper this week. Sure, she's already been shot once and lived, which is usually a sign she'll keep living for awhile, but there's only one episode left after tonight and I really think that she's going to be sacrificed somehow. If it's not her, it may well be Sawyer. I don't know what else that guy has to do now. We all know Jack is playing the final hero role, so what does the minor hero have left to do? This is also a good time to point out that they never finished the love triangle. I don't care, really, but they set it up for 5 years without really paying it off. Kate was kind of with Jack and still loves him mostly, but still kind of loves Sawyer, who still kind of loves her but mostly loves Juliet who is dead. It just sort of stopped, not came to a conclusion. Lame.

5.) Endgame, revealed! - God how I miss the obligatory Sayid spot. Okay, final prediction, I think that we find out what Widmore wants this week and it sets up our real endgame. It's going to be Jack versus MiB AND Widmore, who aren't working together at all but are both working against the good of the island. I think we're right in assuming that Ben told the truth about Widmore wanting the island for his own purpose. So both he and the MiB are working against what Jack's purpose is now. So he has to beat not one, but two assholes. Good luck, Jack. At least you have help. What do I mean? Richard and Ben have been MIA for awhile now...I think they come back to help tonight. Oh Lord, could Ben die tonight? Please...no...nooooooooo.

Okay gang, it's now or never...predict away! Let your voices be heard!

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Anonymous James Syrek said...

Spot on. I say keep writing these when the show ends. Take us back to season 1, and start from there.

May 18, 2010  
Blogger Ryan said...

Don't let that last name fool you, this is a complete stranger who thinks I'm awesome. We have never met before and do not share a direct family link. So, thank you total stranger I've never before spoken to.

May 18, 2010  
Anonymous Megan said...

I agree. I too am a complete stranger who enjoys your Lost insights. Hey if you start over with season 1 your predictions will finally be right!

May 19, 2010  

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