Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

I'll be in Chi-town this weekend, watching my beloved Cubbies try to surge into first in the NL Central. This means I'll be so blotched by the second inning that I'll make out with the mascot. Since I'm in this wonderful mood, I'm going to give you a limerick introduction to my haiku predictions (I'm that rhythmic).

New movies this week are craptastic,
quite possibly written by spastics.
But I'll guess their take,
and if mistakes I do make,
I may have to do something drastic.

Here's how I see it (haiku style):

1.) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - $32 million

Harry gets older,
and his movies get wiser.
Sounds like a win/win.

2.) G-Force - $25 million

This flick might just win.
Mostly because of 3D...
and rodent lovers.

3.) The Ugly Truth - $22 million

Could not care any less...
and Heigl has baby teeth.
This one won't last long.

4.) Orphan - $12 million

Creepy kids scare me,
that is not an endorsement.
Please do not see this.

5.) Ice Age 3 - $11 million

Next week it's all over.
I won't mention this again.
Make room for more crap.

WILDCARD: Transformers 2 - $9 million

Please, please go away.
How I hate you Michael Bay.
That would make my day.

Happy Weekend. Go Cubbies.