Friday, August 21, 2009

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

Smart money this week is on some serious Nazi killin', but there's also some stiff competition from shrimp-lookin' aliens. How great is it that we live in a world where that's our choices! Good stuff out in theaters right now people, which means that you should be out there livin' it up. Otherwise, you may end up finding yourself in September, looking around at all the total dogshithaircut movies that are out there and wondering why you waited to get to the theater. Don't be a sucka, go see some block-bustas.

Here's how I see it (haiku style), as per usual:

1.) Inglorious Basterds - $25 million

Hey, Tarantino!
That's not how you spell Bastards.
But who really cares.

2.) District 9 - $19 million

A runaway hit!
A sequel now seems likely.
This makes me happy.

3.) GI Joe: Rise of Cobra - $10.5 million

It would have been cool
if they kept the gay sailor
given the title.

4.) The Time Traveler's Wife - $10 million

This does just OK
and gets a TV spinoff?
That does not make sense.

5.) Shorts - $9.5 million

Rodriguez loves kids
almost as much as violence.
Do not combine those.

WILDCARD - Julie and Julia - $8 million

This just keeps cookin'.
Get it? It's about baking!
Sometimes I'm stupid.

Okay, that's the new content for the week gang. Happy Friday to ya!

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