Friday, April 9, 2010

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

It's Friday (alrighty...sorry, that's for two nerds I'm related two), which is great...that said, I don't remember the last time I felt this strange. Monday was one of the best days of my whole life, as the UNO Forensics team exceeded every goal I ever had (rewarding about 4 years of hard-ass work), but today I'm not going to lie, I feel wretched/weird. Tuesday/Wednesday were an exhausted blur, and then last night I had some kind of allergic reaction (my face looked like I was wearing a sitcom fat suit for a character's flashback or fantasy sequence). Today I feel as though my brain is encased in Jello pudding and I feel like my insides are burning. I've been tired before, but this feels like some strange kind of disease that a supervillain created. Somewhere, I know the evil Dr. Spoonfoot is rubbing his hands together whilst cackling "my plan is working!!!!" Anyway, this has nothing to do with the box office this weekend, but I thought I'd share.

Here are my predictions, haiku style:

1.) Date Night - $29 million

I'm taking a chance,
I'm picking Fey and Carrell
to beat down the gods!!

2.) Clash of the Titans - $27 million

I've heard some strange tales,
of what the film ALMOST was.
They sound way better.

3.) How to Train Your Dragon - $21 million

I said it before,
so I will say it again.
I should make kids films.

4.) Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married, Too? - $13 million

Oh, Tyler Perry,
you're just way too prolific
for your averageness.

5.) The Last Song - $8.5 million

Don't get me wrong here,
I like using the word "Last"
with Miley Cyrus.

No wildcard needed this week. I couldn't if I wanted to, the evil Dr. Spoonfoot's virus is spreading fast. Save yourself.

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