Friday, August 20, 2010

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

It's a smorgasbord of crap this week! An all-you-can-eat buffet of mediocrity and absolute swill! Hooray! The real question is, will a holdover from last week win or will a new crap-tender rise to the top of the trash heap? It's so thrilling I can barely bring myself to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Oh, sorry, dozed off. Let's just get this over with, right?

Here's how I see the weekend, haiku style!

1.) The Expendables - $15 million

Sly does it again!
Uh oh...Expendables 2?
This shit just got real.

2.) Piranha 3D - $14 million

Horror in 3D?
Sure. But throw in 3D boobs?
Now everyone wins.

3.) Eat Pray Love - $13.5 million

This should keep rolling,
as there's no direct challenge.
Ladies still love it.

4.) Vampires Suck - $13 million

I agree with this,
but only on the title.
Parodies are hard.

5.) Nanny McPhee Returns - $12 million

A hit overseas,
it's the sequel no one needs.
So...it's a sequel.

WILDCARD - Lottery Ticket - $10 million

This film stars Bow Wow.
Do I need to keep going?
I really hope not.

Okay, that's it. Have a great weekend and see you on Monday!

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