Friday, September 17, 2010

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

Eat it up, Ben!

It's your world right now, you detachable-jawed, married-above-your-paygrade dude. I love you. I always have. Now the world gets to love you too because after Gone Baby Gone and now The Town, nobody can deny you got chops, boy. This weekend is going to be awesome for you, hopefully for me too, but mostly for you. Enjoy what should be the number one movie and your wife. ALWAYS enjoy your wife.

Here's how I see the box office, haiku style:

1.) The Town - $17 million

Ben Affleck kicks ass.
I have said that for years now.
Now everyone knows!!!

2.) Easy A - $14 million

Emma Stone kicks ass.
I have loved her since day one.
Now everyone does!!!

3.) Devil - $12 million

M Night kicks no ass.
I hate him quite a bit now.
Everyone agrees.

4.) Resident Evil Afterlife - $10 million

Some zombies bite ass.
I used to love them a lot.
Now they're just okay.

5.) Alpha and Omega - $8 million

This is about wolves.
Few people really love wolves.
Their T-shirts tell you.

That's it. No wildcard needed today, I'm that ballsy and confident. Have a great early fall weekend. Enjoy football, go Bears (ahem, please God, keep the momentum of barely winning going).

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