Monday, August 10, 2009

Weekend Box Office Results: Cobra rises, thrusts itself into top spot

Seriously, I promise to you here and now that I will make some veiled penile reference virtually every time I mention GI Joe: Rise of Cobra. If you are above such things...I honestly can't believe you're still reading this blog.

Oh, not directly related to the below, but I want to know what I can do to make commenting easier for you guys. I can't tell if nobody is commenting because, you know nobody's reading or wants to comment, or if there's some sort of functional problem with the way things are set up. If the issue is the latter, please hook me up with an email at film@thereader.com, and I'll see what I can do. I just can't imagine a world where other people don't ALSO want to make wang jokes about the GI Joe movie title or make some kind of inappropriate comment about Rachel Nichols. Hell, I'm not getting any spam even...that has to mean something.

Here are the results (haiku style, bitches):

1.) GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra - $56 million (Accuracy of prediction - 99%)

This rose to the task.
It erected a huge win.
I told you I would.

2.) Julie and Julia - $20 million (Accuracy of prediction - 97%)

You can't stop Meryl.
You can try to contain her.
But she won't like that.

3.) G-Force - $10 million (Accuracy of prediction - 80%)

When will these pigs leave?
I can't take much more of this.
No more rodents please.

4.) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - $9 million (Accuracy of prediction - 91.5%)

Harry can't catch robots.
Transformers 2 wins the year.
I will now throw up.

5.) Funny People - $8 million (Accuracy of prediction - 61.5%)

Wow, this is not good.
America's votes are in.
And Paul Blart beat this.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 86%

Another good week,
for my predictions I mean.
The movies just sucked.

Okay, that's it gang. Go forth and be productive on this Monday!

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

New Moon will win the year. THEN you can throw up.

August 10, 2009  
Blogger Ryan said...

You shut your mouth, Anonymous. You shut your filthy liar's mouth. I have a gun loaded and ready in case your prophecy comes to pass.

August 10, 2009  

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