Monday, August 31, 2009

Weekend Box Office Results: 'Tis Better to Suck in 3D

Ah, the power of 3D. I love how horror movies are acting like this is something new, like Jaws 3D never existed. How dare you forget Jaws 3D? That movie changed the world, dammit. Anyhoodle, here's the horror-flavored sloppy seconds that was the first non-summer weekend.

Here are the (haiku-d) results:

1.) The Final Destination - $28 million (Accuracy of prediction - 93%)

3D glasses rule
Remind me of Max Headroom.
I miss the 80s.

2.) Inglourious Basterds - $20 million (Accuracy of prediction - 84%)

QT saves the day!
The Weinstein Company lives!
Is that a good thing?

3.) Halloween II - $17.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 78%)

Bye bye Rob Zombie.
Your mainstream days are over.
I will not miss you.

4.) District 9 - $10.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 98%)

I will own this film.
I can't wait for the extras.
I want more right now!

5.) GI Joe: Rise of Cobra - $8 million (Accuracy of prediction - 91%)

So far, just boys toys.
Live-action Rainbow Brite time?
It's only fair now.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 89%

If I keep this up.
It may look like I'm not dumb.
But you know better.

That's it. Happy Monday gang!

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