Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Nicholas Cage keeps Green Hornet's streak alive

Has there been a more troubled unlikely-to-be-all-that-popular project in the last two decades than The Green Hornet? I mean, sure, we're all curious as to whether the Jew-fro'd Seth Rogen can possibly pull off a superhero movie that doesn't involve the hero smokin' a little sumthin' sumthin' to get "powers," but still. I won't recap everything but we're talking about a sordid history that originally involved Kevin Smith, the loss of a director and co-stars, and countless delays. Hell, my own attraction to the film has come in fits and starts. First I think, "hey, a movie directed by Steven Chow and starring him as Kato with Rogen as the Hornet would be great." Then Chow is out. Then they brought in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind director Michel Gondry and I was back like an unwanted winkie ulcer. Then they announced Cameron Diaz as the love interest and Nic Cage as the villain and I was out again. Now comes word from THR that Cage is out like a well-dressed musical enthusiast and I'm back baby. Cage dropped out to make more crappy-crap-crap-crap movies, like the upcoming Sorcerer's Apprentice (the live-action version of the Disney movie...nope, not kidding), a sequel to the Harvey Keitel wang exposer Bad Lieutenant, and now the movie he abandoned The Green Hornet for...which is something called The Hungry Rabbit Jumps. This means that we need a new villain for the Hornet (and to get rid of Diaz, but we're likely screwed there). My suggestion: Ryan Gosling. That guy has been MIA lately and I'm worried. Also, to celebrate Cage's's been too long since we did a little of this:

If he ever acknowledged my existence, Cage and I would have a relationship like Alex Trebeck and Sean Connery.

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