Crazy, stupid, awesome cast

The movie once titled Crazy, Stupid Love is no longer called that. It does, however, still sport a crazy, stupid, awesome cast that is only getting crazier, stupider, and more awesomer. We already knew that Steve Carell was going to play a father whose "life unravels as he deals with spousal problems," a plot that sounds only slightly more original and specific than "a wacky couple falls in love and a misunderstanding keeps them apart." We also knew that this guy was going to be in it.

His name is Ryan Gosling, and he used to be famous. Why he isn't in more movies I simply cannot know. He's a good-lookin' fellow who used to date Rachel McAdams (+10 charisma) and got an Oscar nomination for playing a crack-head teacher. I like that he's reemerging from whatever bizarre dungeon he's been confined to for being a hunk who can act, but it's weird that he's suddenly back...in a Steve Carell movie. We also knew that Kevin Bacon and Emma Stone were included. Obligatory Emma Stone photo:

Now we know that the cast is getting even more bestester. Yeah, that's right, despite ALREADY having Kevin Bacon, the film decided to really up the ante by adding....Josh Friggin' Groban. Most of you know Groban from his whiny, girly music and his Jonas Brother-esque appearance. What you DON'T know about him is that he's also an avid MMA fighter and explosives expert. Oh, sure, he performs beautiful songs that your mom loves. But at night...at night Groban enters back-alley hobo fights and builds his own explosives. He's killed 73 men and this acting gig is just another way to convince potential opponents that he's off their game. When they're not expecting it...WHAMMO: They're Grobaned. I'm just kidding, he's a big pussy. But he is in this movie, so that's lame.

Also in the movie is Marisa Tomei, who is aging so well that I'm only marginally convinced she's some kind of nosferatu. This is her now.

She's almost 50. I think she'll likely play Carell's wife, but here's hoping that she gets to romp with Gosling. She deserves it. Plus, I buy that she'd go for him before Carell and that both would want her. This turned into a very salty post. Apologies.

Why not start shooting on July 4?

You know things have reached an epic slowdown regarding movie rumors and news when I'm posting information regarding a movie's initial production start date. Woo hoo, let's hear it for the wit and whimsy that surrounds scheduling! In an interview with Fangoria, Joe Johnston talked a bit about Captain America. Let me be the first to say how scared I am that it's Joe Johnston working on the World War II-centric The First Avenger: Captain America movie. How scared am I? I'm more scared of that than the title The First Avenger: Captain America. People who make titles are stupid. Johnston was discussing Wolfman, which somehow won me over with its hairy goodness and I now want to see it, and he revealed that Cap will shoot in June. Why is this cool? Well first and foremost it means Marvel's plan to dump not one but two major projects on our faces in 2011 is well on it's way (Thor hits us in the nuts with a hammer before Cap throws his shield in our sternum). Second, it means that we are inching ever closer to finally nailing down who will play Cap. My vote remains for John "He looks like a cartoon pilot" Hamm (shown here):

If Marvel is willing to cast someone who is old enough to feed himself and DOESN'T want Hamm (though I don't know why), I will accept Aaron Eckhart.

Sadly, Marvel will inevitably want to skew younger, so I will also accept the following:

Ryan Gosling

All this is based on "talent" and "acting," so we'll likely see some dude from "Gossip Girl" or freakin' "Friday Night Lights," which I could care less about no matter how good you say it is rest-of-the-world. Give us an actor with chops to play the Godfather of Marvel superheroes. That's all I ask. And now we know that the announcement should be developing in the next two months or so.

Nicholas Cage keeps Green Hornet's streak alive

Has there been a more troubled unlikely-to-be-all-that-popular project in the last two decades than The Green Hornet? I mean, sure, we're all curious as to whether the Jew-fro'd Seth Rogen can possibly pull off a superhero movie that doesn't involve the hero smokin' a little sumthin' sumthin' to get "powers," but still. I won't recap everything but we're talking about a sordid history that originally involved Kevin Smith, the loss of a director and co-stars, and countless delays. Hell, my own attraction to the film has come in fits and starts. First I think, "hey, a movie directed by Steven Chow and starring him as Kato with Rogen as the Hornet would be great." Then Chow is out. Then they brought in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind director Michel Gondry and I was back like an unwanted winkie ulcer. Then they announced Cameron Diaz as the love interest and Nic Cage as the villain and I was out again. Now comes word from THR that Cage is out like a well-dressed musical enthusiast and I'm back baby. Cage dropped out to make more crappy-crap-crap-crap movies, like the upcoming Sorcerer's Apprentice (the live-action version of the Disney movie...nope, not kidding), a sequel to the Harvey Keitel wang exposer Bad Lieutenant, and now the movie he abandoned The Green Hornet for...which is something called The Hungry Rabbit Jumps. This means that we need a new villain for the Hornet (and to get rid of Diaz, but we're likely screwed there). My suggestion: Ryan Gosling. That guy has been MIA lately and I'm worried. Also, to celebrate Cage's departure...it's been too long since we did a little of this:



If he ever acknowledged my existence, Cage and I would have a relationship like Alex Trebeck and Sean Connery.