Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

I gots to tell you folks, it's been a crazy week. Between the weather depriving me of vitamin D goodness for like 10 days now, wretched and stupid car problems that suck money into them like some kind of financial black hole, busy times at work...and at my other work (and other, other work), and my wife working insane, brutal hours (seriously, four days in a row now of like 13-14 hour days), I've reached some sort of spiritual breaking point. I need some positivity and good news. I'm going to trust that this means I'm guaranteed to have success in my box office predictions. Enjoy!

Here's how I see it (haiku style):

1.) Where the Wild Things Are - $36 million

This may be too high
but it deserves even more.
I love this movie.

2.) Paranormal Activity - $21 million

Talk about a hit
The film's budget is smaller
than my car repairs.

3.) Couples Retreat - $18 million

Guess who's laughing now?
Vince Vaughn, who is still a star...
and likely eating.

4.) Law-Abiding Citizen - $10 million

I don't get this one.
It looks quite cheese-a-licious.
But, hey, shit blows up!

5.) The Stepfather - $8 million

Another remake
Another film to avoid.
Will they never learn?

WILDCARD - Zombieland - $8 million

This was so much fun
I think I may go again.
That's quite rare for me.

Okay gang, you have a wonderful weekend. I know I will.