Weekend Box Office Results: The Wild Things r in yr wallet, takin' yr monies

Well, well, well, look at that. Just like crazy-ass Kanye jumped around declaring a win for "art" when his phenomenal album "808 and Heartbreak" was number one in album sales, I want to scream like a wild rumpus that Spike Jonze's complex and challenging childhood opus soared above expectations at the weekend box office. Huzzah! I loved the movie, and you should too. Just to be clear, I'm happy about THIS weekend development, but the decision by all football teams I like to take the weekend off left me quite morose this Monday. Le sigh.

Here's the results (haiku style):

1.) Where the Wild Things Are - $32.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 94.5%)

This is a great start
Wild Things, I think I love you
This is a classic.

2.) Law Abiding Citizen - $21 million (Accuracy of prediction - 54%)

Are you kidding me?
Even the title is bad.
WHERE IS THE HYPHEN?

3.) Paranormal Activity - $20 million (Accuracy of prediction - 87.5%)

It has two weeks left
After Halloween, it's gone.
Still a nice story.

4.) Couples Retreat - $18 million (Accuracy of prediction - 90%)

These numbers are nuts.
It's like a Summer weekend.
Other than weather.

5.) The Stepfather - $12 million (Accuracy of prediction - 83%)

You'll see anything?
Even a remake like this?
What's wrong with you guys?

Overall accuracy of prediction - 82%

I guess I'll take it.
Only one movie hurt me.
DAMN YOU JAMIE FOXXXXXXX

That's it. Y'all have yourselves a happy Monday!

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

I gots to tell you folks, it's been a crazy week. Between the weather depriving me of vitamin D goodness for like 10 days now, wretched and stupid car problems that suck money into them like some kind of financial black hole, busy times at work...and at my other work (and other, other work), and my wife working insane, brutal hours (seriously, four days in a row now of like 13-14 hour days), I've reached some sort of spiritual breaking point. I need some positivity and good news. I'm going to trust that this means I'm guaranteed to have success in my box office predictions. Enjoy!

Here's how I see it (haiku style):

1.) Where the Wild Things Are - $36 million

This may be too high
but it deserves even more.
I love this movie.

2.) Paranormal Activity - $21 million

Talk about a hit
The film's budget is smaller
than my car repairs.

3.) Couples Retreat - $18 million

Guess who's laughing now?
Vince Vaughn, who is still a star...
and likely eating.

4.) Law-Abiding Citizen - $10 million

I don't get this one.
It looks quite cheese-a-licious.
But, hey, shit blows up!

5.) The Stepfather - $8 million

Another remake
Another film to avoid.
Will they never learn?

WILDCARD - Zombieland - $8 million

This was so much fun
I think I may go again.
That's quite rare for me.

Okay gang, you have a wonderful weekend. I know I will.