Weekend Box Office Results: Please let this be it for This Is It!

I heard rumors that This Is It was going to shatter all box office records and blow us all away. I also heard rumors that Lady Gaga is a dude. I am more inclined to believe the latter (and far less concerned with the consequences of that being true). It did win the weekend but should soon fade back to obscurity, hopefully taking with it the end of our Michael Jackson-laced year. He was a hell of a pop singer, likely a child molester, and definitely crazy. I am over it.

Here's the results (haiku style):

1.) This Is It! - $21 million (Accuracy of prediction - 65%)

Ha! My guess was low
compared with most predictions.
Take THAT non-movie!

2.) Paranormal Activity - $16.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 95%)

Good job little film!
I have nothing left to say.
It's November now.

3.) Law Abiding Citizen - $7 million (Accuracy of prediction - 86%)

This is not a trend.
No more tepid action flicks.
DAMN YOU, JAMIE FOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

4.) Couples Retreat - $6 million (Accuracy of prediction - 90%)

This needs to go, too.
I have no more Vince Vaughan jokes.
Um...he got real fat?

5.) Saw VI - $5.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 95.5%)

Now you see this crap...
Now you do not see this crap...
I like that better.

Overall Accuracy of Prediction - 86%

Hey, not too shabby!
I hope this means a good week!
...but probably not.

Happy Monday, gang. Have fun!

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

You want to know what people on movie blogs do when there isn't a lot of action going on? I have read 20 different versions of "Hugh Jackman can't host the Oscars, so who should?" I think Jackman did a fine job, but really the answer starts and ends as Ricky Gervais, who was already picked up by the Golden Globes. Beyond that, I could give a rat's dingus. Seriously, they're going to find some bland choice that is in no way dangerous or exciting. So, my suggestion is to get somebody surprising (like George Clooney) or go with what you know and bring back Jon Stewart, who did a way better job than people remember. Oh, also, I don't care. I watch to see what wins, so sue me. Anyway, moving on to this weekend's box office...who gives a shit. Really, the creepy Michael Jackson non-movie movie is going to win and everything else is bad or old. So, there you go. Still, a promise is a promise, and I promised to do this every week. Here goes nothing.

Here's how I see it (haiku style):

1.) This Is It - $29.5 million

Not sure what This is
No more Michael Jackson news?
I hope This is It!

2.) Paranormal Activity - $15 million

This had a nice run
It should end on Halloween.
There's no shame in that.

3.) Law Abiding Citizen - $9 million

I can't believe this.
This is making great money.
DAMN YOU, JAIME FOXXXXXXXX

4.) Where the Wild Things Are - $7 million

No $100 mil
But you can't call it a flop.
Not bad for good art.

5.) Saw VI - $6 million

Could Saw be over?
I really hope that's the case.
Which means it won't be.

WILDCARD - Couples Retreat - $6 million

Kristen Bell is hot.
I just wanted to say that
while I was able.

Weekend Box Office Wrap Up: I suck...but less than Saw

If you're wondering, the limit on how many times you can milk the cash cow before it dies, the answer is 6. Saw took a big old face dump this weekend, spilling from it's usual $30 million opening to just under half that, likely because someone finally wisely challenged it with another horror movie. David (Paranormal Activity) slew Goliath (Saw)...only there were no larger religious implications and we're all going to go right on living our lives. Hopefully this means next year we get a little more variety in our October...but I'm guessing probably just Paranormal Activity 2 and Saw VII.

Here's the weekend's results, haiku style:

1.) Paranormal Activity - $22 million (Accuracy of prediction - 85%)

Made for 10 thousand.
This may make 100 mil.
...I'd say that's okay.

2.) Saw VI - $15 million (Accuracy of prediction - 64%)

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Sorry, but this makes me smile.
Booooo makers of crap!

3.) Where the Wild Things Are - $14.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 95%)

It's not quite a hit
but it's in no way failing.
Not bad for good art.

4.) Law Abiding Citizen - $13 million (Accuracy of prediction - 84%)

It's just like Taken.
I should have seen this coming.
Damn you, Jamie Foxxxxxxxxx

5.) Couples Retreat - $11 million (Accuracy of prediction - 0%)

Vince Vaughan is the king...
of the mainstream comedy.
Sorry Will Ferrell.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 67%

What a sad effort.
The only thing worse than this?
The Chicago Bears.

That's it! Happy Monday!

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

Here we are again, gang. Another Friday, another chance for me to embarrass myself. I have to say it's been a long week, mostly aided by the fact that Omaha's weather has decided to emulate that of Blade Runner. I haven't seen the sun in so long that it's like being Sarah Palin (not because she lives in Alaska so much as because of where she usually keeps her head). Anyhoodle, here's how I see the weekend box office, haiku style:

1.) Saw VI - $29 million

Please do not see Saw.
You see Saw, we'll see more Saws
So no more Saw, see?

2.) Paranormal Activity - $20 million

Look at the indie!
I guess this type still does well.
At least it's something.

3.) Where the Wild Things Are - $16 million

Okay, listen up.
Let's reward those who made this.
Give them more money!

4.) Astro Boy - $12 million

What? Not in 3D?!
Kiss your box office goodbye.
It's sad, but it's true.

5.) Law Abiding Citizen - $11.5 million

Word of mouth is strong?
I'm not sure this is quite right.
You're sure you meant this?

WILDCARD - Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant - $10 million

Pick just one title.
Cash in on the vampire craze.
NOOOOO! John C. Reilly?!

Okay, that's it gang. Have a great weekend and see you on Monday!

Weekend Box Office Results: The Wild Things r in yr wallet, takin' yr monies

Well, well, well, look at that. Just like crazy-ass Kanye jumped around declaring a win for "art" when his phenomenal album "808 and Heartbreak" was number one in album sales, I want to scream like a wild rumpus that Spike Jonze's complex and challenging childhood opus soared above expectations at the weekend box office. Huzzah! I loved the movie, and you should too. Just to be clear, I'm happy about THIS weekend development, but the decision by all football teams I like to take the weekend off left me quite morose this Monday. Le sigh.

Here's the results (haiku style):

1.) Where the Wild Things Are - $32.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 94.5%)

This is a great start
Wild Things, I think I love you
This is a classic.

2.) Law Abiding Citizen - $21 million (Accuracy of prediction - 54%)

Are you kidding me?
Even the title is bad.
WHERE IS THE HYPHEN?

3.) Paranormal Activity - $20 million (Accuracy of prediction - 87.5%)

It has two weeks left
After Halloween, it's gone.
Still a nice story.

4.) Couples Retreat - $18 million (Accuracy of prediction - 90%)

These numbers are nuts.
It's like a Summer weekend.
Other than weather.

5.) The Stepfather - $12 million (Accuracy of prediction - 83%)

You'll see anything?
Even a remake like this?
What's wrong with you guys?

Overall accuracy of prediction - 82%

I guess I'll take it.
Only one movie hurt me.
DAMN YOU JAMIE FOXXXXXXX

That's it. Y'all have yourselves a happy Monday!

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

I gots to tell you folks, it's been a crazy week. Between the weather depriving me of vitamin D goodness for like 10 days now, wretched and stupid car problems that suck money into them like some kind of financial black hole, busy times at work...and at my other work (and other, other work), and my wife working insane, brutal hours (seriously, four days in a row now of like 13-14 hour days), I've reached some sort of spiritual breaking point. I need some positivity and good news. I'm going to trust that this means I'm guaranteed to have success in my box office predictions. Enjoy!

Here's how I see it (haiku style):

1.) Where the Wild Things Are - $36 million

This may be too high
but it deserves even more.
I love this movie.

2.) Paranormal Activity - $21 million

Talk about a hit
The film's budget is smaller
than my car repairs.

3.) Couples Retreat - $18 million

Guess who's laughing now?
Vince Vaughn, who is still a star...
and likely eating.

4.) Law-Abiding Citizen - $10 million

I don't get this one.
It looks quite cheese-a-licious.
But, hey, shit blows up!

5.) The Stepfather - $8 million

Another remake
Another film to avoid.
Will they never learn?

WILDCARD - Zombieland - $8 million

This was so much fun
I think I may go again.
That's quite rare for me.

Okay gang, you have a wonderful weekend. I know I will.