Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

You want to know what people on movie blogs do when there isn't a lot of action going on? I have read 20 different versions of "Hugh Jackman can't host the Oscars, so who should?" I think Jackman did a fine job, but really the answer starts and ends as Ricky Gervais, who was already picked up by the Golden Globes. Beyond that, I could give a rat's dingus. Seriously, they're going to find some bland choice that is in no way dangerous or exciting. So, my suggestion is to get somebody surprising (like George Clooney) or go with what you know and bring back Jon Stewart, who did a way better job than people remember. Oh, also, I don't care. I watch to see what wins, so sue me. Anyway, moving on to this weekend's box office...who gives a shit. Really, the creepy Michael Jackson non-movie movie is going to win and everything else is bad or old. So, there you go. Still, a promise is a promise, and I promised to do this every week. Here goes nothing.

Here's how I see it (haiku style):

1.) This Is It - $29.5 million

Not sure what This is
No more Michael Jackson news?
I hope This is It!

2.) Paranormal Activity - $15 million

This had a nice run
It should end on Halloween.
There's no shame in that.

3.) Law Abiding Citizen - $9 million

I can't believe this.
This is making great money.
DAMN YOU, JAIME FOXXXXXXXX

4.) Where the Wild Things Are - $7 million

No $100 mil
But you can't call it a flop.
Not bad for good art.

5.) Saw VI - $6 million

Could Saw be over?
I really hope that's the case.
Which means it won't be.

WILDCARD - Couples Retreat - $6 million

Kristen Bell is hot.
I just wanted to say that
while I was able.