Monday, February 8, 2010

Box Office Results: Avatar loses!!! To Dear John? WTF?

I didn't see this coming. As elated as I am that the beast has fallen (for now), I am a bit shocked that it was to a generic titled, generic sounding, by-all-accounts pretty awful teenage romance movie. Weird. Still, it's nice to see some change at the top. Does this mean I have to know who Channing Tatum is now? I know he has two last names and no first name? Does this mean Amanda Seyfried has room to negotiate her contract on Mama Mia 2? What will happen?! I'm frightened! HOW WILL JAMES CAMERON TAKE THIS?!!! AHHHHH!!!

Here's the results, haiku style:

1.) Dear John - $32 million (Accuracy of prediction - 67%)

I did not see this.
The first place OR the movie.
A total shocker.

2.) Avatar - $24 million (Accuracy of prediction - 84%)

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
You lost to Nicholas Sparks.
You suck, Jimmy C.

3.) From Paris with Love - $8 million (Accuracy of prediction - 65%)

Poor bald Travolta.
Nobody Loved your movie
They didn't like it.

4.) Edge of Darkness - $7 million (Accuracy of prediction - 94%)

Bye bye Mel Gibson.
When next we see "sugar tits,"
he'll have a puppet.

5.) The Tooth Fairy - $6.5 million (Accuracy of prediction -100%)

This just hangs around.
Like a bad tooth infection.
Go to hell, The Rock.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 82%

Avatar's rule ends.
Giving way to romance films.
But...am I happy?

That's it for Monday. Get to work.

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