Friday, March 12, 2010

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

This is a special week. Why? Because it is the first Avatar-free week since...OH DAMMIT. Who let Robert Pattinson in here? Oh, and we still have the nut punch that is Alice in Wonderland on the list. You know what? I was all set to be excited for this changing of the guard, this turning over of a happy leaf. But no, Hollywood has to go and ruin it for me. Jerks.

I guess there's nothing left to do but make haikus happen. Here's how I see the suddenly not quite as cool weekend.

1.) Alice in Wonderland - $54 million

When it comes to "holes,"
the rabbit has a big hole
as does Depp's career.

2.) Green Zone - $22 million

Damon is a star,
but the shaky-cam action
still makes people puke.

3.) Remember Me - $14 million

Tell people the end,
just to see their reaction.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

4.) She's Out of My League - $13 million

Non-Apatow flick
That LOOKS like Apatow flicks.
Will this ruse still work?

5.) Shutter Island - $8 million

This had a great run,
Marty's budgets just increased.
Give him what he wants.

WILDCARD - Our Family Wedding - $8 million

Never heard of it
Seriously, not one time.
I don't think that's good.

Okay guys, that's my predictions for the week!

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