Friday, July 16, 2010

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

This weekend, I am begging you to make Inception a big, fat, nasty hit. I mean like really freak the studios out with how much you are willing to spend to see an original, unique American movie that is totally inspired and thrilling. Buy tickets for friends, see it 7 times in a row, set records for this thing so that everyone realizes we can and will support the crap out of good, quality material. I could give a wet sparrow fart if you choose to see The Sorcerer's Apprentice but BY GOD get thee to Inception so many times that your wallet hurts from opening it too often.

Now, onto my predictions for Inception's success. Here's how I see the box office, haiku style.

1.) Inception - $75 million

This number is huge
for what is an art movie
disguised as action.

2.) Despicable Me - $35 million

People love this flick,
mostly for the yellow dudes.
That's just fine by me.

3.) The Sorcerer's Apprentice - $20 million

This is in trouble.
They are giving FREE tickets.
That is not a joke.

4.) Twilight: Eclipse - $15 million

Hey, stupid vampires,
you can't hang in the summer.
Now, leave my top 5.

5.) Toy Story 3 - $15 million

I still love Pixar,
no matter what others say.
A damn fine sequel.

WILDCARD - Predators - $14 million

It looks like a flop,
but thanks to a small budget,
it really isn't.

Okay, that's it. I'll be back later with an Inception review to knock your socks off of your ass. Wait...

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