Weekend Box Office Results: A good start...

Okay, nicely played. Inception is Leo's biggest opening weekend ever, it's one of the top weekends ever for an original movie, and it picked up business over the weekend (it didn't peak opening day). That's all well and good. Now, you're going to have to go see it multiple times, tell your friends and family to see it, and generally promote it like hell. Why? Because it's the easiest way to make sure that we're going to see more stuff like it. Just like the success of District 9 has lead to a slew of short-film directors getting their work optioned for movies, the success of Inception will allow for more artists to be given bigger canvases. It's in your hands, folks. Now, let's take a look at what I done this weekend.

Here's the box office results, haiku style:

1.) Inception - $60 million (Accuracy of prediction - 87.5%)

Not too bad so far
but we all can do better.
Let's keep it up, folks.

2.) Despicable Me - $32 million (Accuracy of prediction - 95%)

A super-big hit,
this cost just $70 million.
It has doubled that.

3.) The Sorcerer's Apprentice - $17.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 93%)

Nice try, Nicholas,
but we are done with this crap.
You too, Bruckheimer.

4.) Twilight Eclipse - $13.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 94.5%)

It is almost gone.
There is no better feeling,
than Twilight's absence.

5.) Toy Story 3 - $12 million (Accuracy of prediction - 87.5%)

$400 million
is a possibility.
Not too shabby, toys.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 91.5%

I love the summer.
Not for the warmer weather,
I just score better.

Okay, that's it for today. Have a great Monday, y'all.

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

This weekend, I am begging you to make Inception a big, fat, nasty hit. I mean like really freak the studios out with how much you are willing to spend to see an original, unique American movie that is totally inspired and thrilling. Buy tickets for friends, see it 7 times in a row, set records for this thing so that everyone realizes we can and will support the crap out of good, quality material. I could give a wet sparrow fart if you choose to see The Sorcerer's Apprentice but BY GOD get thee to Inception so many times that your wallet hurts from opening it too often.

Now, onto my predictions for Inception's success. Here's how I see the box office, haiku style.

1.) Inception - $75 million

This number is huge
for what is an art movie
disguised as action.

2.) Despicable Me - $35 million

People love this flick,
mostly for the yellow dudes.
That's just fine by me.

3.) The Sorcerer's Apprentice - $20 million

This is in trouble.
They are giving FREE tickets.
That is not a joke.

4.) Twilight: Eclipse - $15 million

Hey, stupid vampires,
you can't hang in the summer.
Now, leave my top 5.

5.) Toy Story 3 - $15 million

I still love Pixar,
no matter what others say.
A damn fine sequel.

WILDCARD - Predators - $14 million

It looks like a flop,
but thanks to a small budget,
it really isn't.

Okay, that's it. I'll be back later with an Inception review to knock your socks off of your ass. Wait...

Weekend Box Office Results: Daffy would be proud

Good weekend for the box office, as we're poised to enter the most promising weekend of the year (Inception weekend). Speaking of which, I'll be attending said premiere of that tonight and will be sure to give you my spoiler-free thoughts upon return! But now, back to the business behind us.

Despicable Me did well for itself, Predators proved that producing matters (it should be profitable by mid week), and Toy Story 3 is now the top-grossing Pixar movie ever. Eventful!

Here's what happened, haiku style:

1.) Despicable Me - $60 million (Accuracy of prediction - 83%)

Animation rules!
At least in terms of 3D...
and beating Twilight.

2.) Twilight: Eclipse - $33 million (Accuracy of prediction - 91%)

Things are changing fast!
There is a big dropoff here!
It's almost over!!!!

3.) Predators - $25 million (Accuracy of prediction - 92%)

As I've said for years,
Action has only one name:
Adrien Brody

4.) Toy Story 3 - $22 million (Accuracy of prediction - 89%)

$400 million
Is a possibility.
Not bad for those toys.

5.) The Last Airbender - $17 million (Accuracy of prediction - 97%)

Sequel talk will hinge
on the foreign box office.
It's up to you, France!

Overall accuracy of prediction - 90%

I am on fire, folks.
Just call me "The Predictor."
Actually, please don't.

Okay, that's it. Be good this Monday, you'll regret it!

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

Like I said, I'm outtie like a belly button technically, but through the magic of technology I am posting this today (Friday) even though I wrote it yesterday. It's magicalicious! This week brings us Steve Carrell in animated form using all 3 dimensions, the second weekend of the murderous Twilight: Eclipse, and Predators, which features Adrien Brody and his rippling muscles (for realz). Who will win this epic three-way? Wait, that didn't come out right.

Here's how I see it, haiku style:

1.) Despicable Me - $40 million

This is my hero.
Why? Because it will keep out
Twilight from first place.

2.) Twilight: Eclipse - $27 million

Suck on second place!
The fan base may be shrinking.
Your time is OVER!!!

3.) Predators - $21 million

I have heard good things.
No, wait, I'm serious here!
I tried, Adrien.

4.) Toy Story 3 - $17 million

Top of Pixar's list.
The other kid's flick will hurt.
You done good there, toys.

5.) The Last Airbender - $16 million

As soon as it came,
it quickly left us alone.
Try harder next time.

No wildcard this week, I feel that good about it. Okay, have a great weekend. I'll miss you all. Honest.

They have the power...to make a crappy movie

The world hasn't seen Predators yet, but it's directed by a game named Nimrod and stars Adrian Brody as "one of the most deadly men alive." So, it has a few strikes against it. Still, things must be somewhat positive surrounding the film, because THR is reporting that Mike Finch and Alex Litvak, the Predators-penning team, have been hired to write the new He-Man movie. Other than the obvious casting of James Carville as Skeletor, the approach that will be taken to this material mystifies me. Do you do it a bit campy? I mean, this is a movie where a guy has to raise a sword into the air and yell a lame catchphrase in order to ride his giant green-and-yellow cat into battle against villains named things like Mer-Man and Trap-Jaw. You can't really take that seriously, can you? If you try, you end up with something like the God-awful Dolph Lundgren version. But if you make it too campy, too cartoony, you lose the special-effects-laden "event movie" feel that is obviously the point of making something like this. What this is going to require is a sophisticated approach that is partially tongue-in-cheek (without being an overt comedy) and partially bad-ass action (without being too serious). This is technical writing prowess is exactly why you hire the guys who have only written one movie ever (and that movie is about dreadlock-wearing aliens). I'm not saying this movie is going to suck, but I think there's a reason God hasn't allowed them to adapt this abomination over the course of the last 20 years.

Adrien Brody has forgotten he is Adrien Brody

Adrien Brody, who looks like a slightly emo Gonzo from the Muppets, has agreed a role similar to one held by Arnold Schwarzenegger (and no, it's not sleeping with Maria Shriver...Brody and Shriver humping would start another Californian wild fire). No, Variety is reporting that Adrien Brody...that's this guy:

is going to play the lead role of "heroic mercenary" in Predators. Yep, you are reading that right. The guy who is dressed like a combination of Gilligan and Fred from "Scooby Doo" above is going to play a warrior brought to the Predator's home world to do battle with various aliens. Yes, I mean Adrien Brody. Not this Adrian:

or this Adrian

This Brody

I think the aliens feel pretty safe.